a Page 7837 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Royals Will Pay You To Cheer For Them
Aspiring mascots take heed: The Royals need a new "Sluggerrr." Minimum two years experience and an ability to stay awake for nine innings a must. Quality baseball knowledge not necessary (or even preferred.) [Image via Flickr]...

Last Night's Winner: Duke (Sorry.)
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Duke Blue Devils, who finally got the best of their terrible, next-to-last place catastrophe of an arch rival. Yes, they'll take it....

If The Nets Lose And No One's Around To See It, Does It Still Count In The Standings? (Yes.)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

UK Thankfully Better At Basketball Than Spelling
Nike misspelled "Kentcuky" on John Wall's jersey for a Slam photoshoot. But to be fair, spelling your state correctly isn't a graduation requirement at most SEC schools. [Twitpic]...

Caps Fan Doesn't Actually Know Size Of Jordan Staal's Penis
It looked for all the world like that fan was impugning the, uh, curve of Staal's stick. Not so. Now we get the real story....

Big Brother Is Watching You, Serie A
Italian referees can now use instant replay to determine if players used naughty language, and book them appropriately. Meanwhile, Bud Selig is still not sure about this "checking home runs" thing. [Football Italia]...

Cavaliers' Own Watergate Takes An Illegal Turn
Remember how the Cavs removed the drinking fountains from The Q, ostensibly for "health reasons." Yeah, no. Turns out it's a building code violation. [Plain Dealer]...

Clueless Announcers Dissect Obscene Jersey Salute (Fellator Update)
To all the middle-age announcers out there: when you see a fan making a hand gesture you don't understand, you shouldn't ask your broadcast partner to explain it. It just might be a blowjob pantomime....

Rex Ryan's Wardrobe Malfunction
When asking Rex Ryan to change into a Hurricanes jersey, please provide him a changing room. The former Whalers almost provided us with a breast bonanza. [TBL]...

Good Old Fashioned T-Shirt Racism In Kansas
A Lawrence retailer is selling t-shirts that say "Frank Martin Mows My Lawn." The K-State coach is Latino. This has understandably become a bit of a firestorm....

The Nonexistent Fan Advocate's Dilemma
Andrew Feinsten pens a column for SB Nation about the identity crisis suffered by many bloggers in this ever-changing world of new media. Specifically: what is he?...

Today In Euphemizing Flat-Out Calling Johnny Weir Gay: Frank Deford
An occasional series in which we document — and evaluate — the sports media's pained efforts to call the sexually undeclared figure skater gay without quite calling him gay....

Locus Of Concern Shifts From Lindsey Vonn's Butt To Her Shin
Vonn, the skier last seen farting the Sports Illustrated flag, may miss the Olympics because of a bruised right shin. Don't worry. She's getting excellent medical care: "I wrap my leg in cheese and it takes the swelling down." [LAT]...

Tomorrow: <em>Sports Illustrated</em>'s Mark Bechtel Joins Us To Chat About Fightin' In NASCAR
We'll excerpt Bechtel's He Crashed Me So I Crashed Him Back, an account of NASCAR's 1979 season, when America discovered the pleasures of watching people drive fast and occasionally throw helmets at each other. Chat with Mark at 1 p.m....

Roy Williams Is A Clueless Dick
North Carolina head coach Roy Williams has previously demonstrated his complete lack of perspective on more than one occasion, but he still wants you to know that the Haitian earthquake was nothing compared to losing to Virginia at home....

OK, Brent Mayne Can Totally Explain This
Mayne partially recants his story about tipping pitches to J.T. Snow, and I, for one, accept his explanation: "I was hanging out with George Brett a lot those early years, so my memory is all pops and crackles." [BrentMayne.com]...

Roddickless: Even <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Prefers Brooklyn Decker To Her Husband
We learned yesterday that Brooklyn Decker, who doesn't play a sport, has now appeared on more Sports Illustrated covers than her husband, Andy Roddick, who occasionally plays a sport very well....

When Drew Brees Went To Lucy's
Sayeth Cajun Boy: "Of all the video/images I've seen from last night's Saints victory celebration in New Orleans, this one of Drew Brees leading the crowd at Lucy's in a pregame-style chant is the absolute best..."[CajunBoyInTheCity]...

I Was There: Those Aren't Tears, I Swear
Todd C. was at Pat O'Brien's on Bourbon Street and shot some video at game's end that represents the only touching moment in the bar's history that did not involve Rohypnol. He writes in an e-mail:...

Longhorn Girl Arielle Angelovich: A Lesson In Instant Internet Fame
How does one go from anonymous math major to a sought-after interweb celebrity in the span of 40 minutes? All it takes is some fortuitous timing, a bit of fate, and a bright orange t-shirt....