aba Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Harvey Updyke For President": Your Iron Bowl <em>College GameDay</em> Roundup
College GameDay is in Tuscaloosa this morning, and the 'Bama fans brought their best Auburn insults for the occasion. Here are the highlights and lowlights of this morning's signs....
CM Punk Rips Apart The WWE In Revealing Interview About His Departure
Former WWE champion CM Punk joined Colt Cabana's "The Art of Wrestling" podcast this week and dove deep into why he left the company. There is a ton of interesting stuff in here, and it's certainly worth a listen for hardcore fans who want the most in-depth look into why Punk left the wrestling behe...
The Bucs Found A Really Impressive Way To Blow The Game This Week
We normally go over the most highly leveraged plays, or some collection of them, when we round up Brian Burke's WPA from Advanced Football Analytics every week. The list is almost always bottom-heavy, comprising plays that just happened to occur in the fourth quarter, or long touchdowns, like Lata...
God, The NFC South Is So Awful
Mike Smith and the Falcons used poor clock management and sheer willpower to lose on a last-second field goal to the Browns today. (Congrats, Browns!) Atlanta is now 4-7, and still has a chance at first place in the NFC South after the week's over, because the NFC South is so fucking bad, top to bot...
Mike Evans Is Too Big, Too Fast, And Too Physical For Defenses To Stop
You should ignore the two-win Buccaneers and their two-bit alarm-clock uniforms. The Bucs suck, and have been on the end of some of the worst beatdowns of the year. There is at least one bright spot, however: Mike Evans is putting up crazy numbers, and he's only 21....
4 To 6 Weeks, My Ass: Why NFL Injury Estimates Are Bullshit
Not long after Robert Griffin III hobbled out of Week 2 with an ankle injury, the team and the media went into their usual casualty-reporting routine. First was the wait for the diagnosis, which arrived the next day—a dislocated left ankle. Then came the dissemination of the team's early timetable...
After That Great Navy SEAL Pep Talk, Washington Is Shitting The Bed
Oh, goddammit. ...
Alabama Drops Mississippi State, Will Get Back In The Top Four
It seemed like Mississippi State came into this game with some extreme tightness in the butthole area. The first score of the game was an Alabama safety, and Dak Prescott didn't seem much like the Dak Prescott we've grown to admire. They ended up spotting Alabama 19 before they got a field goal to c...
In A Sea Of Crimson Tide Pom-Poms, A Blow-Up Sex Doll
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Tits Out For The Tide: Your <em>College GameDay</em> Sign Roundup
ESPN's College GameDay traveled once again to Tuscaloosa, where a surprising number of Jameis Winston sign-holders were in attendance. You know he beat Auburn, right, Bamafan?...
No. 5 Alabama Survives No. 16 LSU After Yeldon Injury And Turnover
No. 16 LSU and No. 5 Alabama played a pretty boring, low-scoring game tonight, often outdoing each other in terms of offensive ineptitude. ...
Anything Goes In The SEC, Including Depantsing
Or is it pantsing? I can never remember....
"He Reeked Of Jim Beam And Slim Jims": Your Best Mike Ditka Stories
Yesterday we posted Andy Richter's telling of Mike Ditka doing "one of the most senselessly arrogant & aggressive things" he'd ever witnessed. It seems that nearly everybody that has ever stepped foot in Chicago has a Mike Ditka story, usually involving cigars, booze, or both. Below are some of ...
Le'Ron McClain Arrested On Felony Drug Trafficking Charges
Former NFL fullback Le'Ron McClain was arrested on a felony count of trafficking in synthetic controlled substances Wednesday night, according to AL.com. McClain, who was an All-Pro in 2008 and 2009, last played for the Chargers, who cut him in March to save salary cap space. ...
Vikings Cornerback Has Important Questions About <em>Forrest Gump</em>
Jabari Price had some major questions about Forrest Gump last night....
That Time Joe Maddon Parked His Classic Car In A Handicapped Spot
In Boston, when the manager leaves under contentious circumstances, they smear him by accusing him of being addicted to painkillers. In laid-back St. Pete, they find an old photo of the manager parked in a handicapped spot....
The SEC Really Does Benefit From Media Bias In Polls
This past week, four of the top five teams in the Associated Press College Football Poll hailed from the SEC West Division. Nebraska coach Bo Pelini, among others, wondered aloud whether ESPN's ownership of the brand-new SEC network, which launched this year, might be responsible for such a coinci...
Come, Let Us Have Another Laugh At The Disastrous Lakers
So the Lakers rolled out their "actually, bad basketball is cool and good" strategy again last night in Phoenix; accordingly, they got their wheels knocked off, losing 119-99 in a game that somehow makes even that score seem deceptively close....