How To Answer The Phone

Your phone rings. It isn’t one of the two people you talk to regularly, but also doesn’t appear to be a bill collector. And you, you’ve been answering the phone the same way since you were 12. Get yourself together.

There are four proper methods:

“[YOUR FIRST NAME, THEN YOUR LAST NAME]”

“This is [YOUR FIRST NAME]”

“Hey” (If you know the caller) or: “[ANY APPROPRIATE GREETING FOR YOUR EXISTING RELATIONSHIP]”

“Hi Mom, I was just about to call you!”

BAD:

“...... Hello? ......”

[BARELY AUDIBLE HIGH-PITCHED NOISE]

Anything you don’t want on speaker, like sex stuff