ac Page 1093 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kevin Durant Not A Fan Of Mildly Abstruse Basketball Metrics
Durant responds, via Twitter, to criticism of his oddly atrocious plus-minus rating: "love all the REAL basketball fans who appreciate hardwork, passion and love for the game..and not jus 'plus and minuses'...wateva dat is!" Somewhere, Joe Morgan nods. [Twitter, TrueHoop]...
Paul Lo Duca Owes A Horse Pimp Money
The former catcher/current racing analyst is being sued for nearly half a million dollars for not ponying up the cash to breed his mare to superstud Storm Cat. You think you can just watch animals hump for free? [Thoroughbred Times]...
Um, No.
They've fixed it now, but for a few hours last night the LA Times web people got Corey Perry and Braydon Coburn mixed up with a race horse and her jockey. Happens all the time. [LA Times]...
Where's (The Great) Waldo?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The Pacific Boxer Does Not Wish You Sweet Dreams Tonight
Pacific University—not to be confused with The University of the Pacific—has a mascot who likes to play tennis. He may also be the Gatekeeper of Gozer, but I wouldn't worry too much about that....
South Carolina Golfer Loses Arm To Angry Alligator
A 70-year-old tries to retrieve his ball from the drink, but a 10-foot alligator decided he'd rather pull the guy into the water and chew on him awhile. They should make a hilarious movie about that! [Fanhouse/ESPN/OurKitchenSink]...
Today In Thinly-Veiled Omens
The oldest male jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo has been euthanized, after suffering since August. Panthers throughout Florida and the Carolinas are sleeping poorly tonight. [Times-Union]...
White Trash Rebels Fans Would Like To See This Man Dead Over White Trash Comments
The SEC is littered with pugnacious rivalries, and one Bama'-banged Zabka named Taylor Fortenberry created his usual trash-talk video before this week's Ole Miss clash. Unfortunately, now Ole Miss fans want to kill him. Dead. For real....
Philly Fans Aren't The Only Ones Who Get Stabby
Lost and forlorn over Monday night's lost to the rival Vikings, one Packer fan took it upon himself to show one loudmouth he couldn't take the heckling anymore. So he stabbed him in the stomach. [StarTribune]...
Australian Racing Fans Forced To Be Slightly Less Drunk Than Normal
Australia's legendary Bathurst 1000 motorcar race has been besieged by drunkenness in recent years, so this year police are cracking down. Only one case of beer, per person, per day. Show some restraint, people! [Telegraph/Sports Rubbish]...
Alabama Father Pleased Daughter's Domestic Dispute Won't Interfere With Football Season
Alabama linebacker Courtney Upshaw and his girlfriend both agreed to dismiss charges filed against the other after a lover's spat this summer. No one is more excited about this than the girl's father who exited the courthouse shouting, "Roll Tide!"...
Teenage Football Players: This Woman Will "Catch You" And "Have Sex With You"
"Police say [Venus]Lewis, who appeared to be drunk, then walked to a set of picnic tables, pulled down her pants, and inserted a tampon before beginning to masturbate in front of the children." [Zimbio]...
Even The Aflac Duck Has It Out For The Mets
Since we won't have them to kick around in October, let's dump this here. [Via]...
Ball The Pretty Horses: High Schoolers Show School Spirit With Equine Double-Team T-Shirts (UPDATE)
It seems a few hairy-palmed scamps at Houston's Memorial High School recently sold the t-shirt you see here to commemorate their Mustangs' football game against archrival Stratford. Think this is the only bit of Memorial-related horsefucking? Nay!...
Disturbed Prop-Wielding Fanbase Enjoys Slightly Important Victory
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Get Ready To Favre Your Favren' Brains Out
Obviously, there's nothing left to be said about tonight's BIGGEST GAME EVER. (At least until next month when they play again in Green Bay. That might get some press, too.)...
This Is What You Call The Hebert Salute
Former Saints quarterback Bobby Hebert let the shit-kickin' hillbilly overtake him after the Saints bullied the ball away from Captain Poise Pants to score a touchdown and put the game away....
Zombie Pat Tillman Would Be Playing For Bill Belichick Right Now, Peter King Reports
In March 2003, the United States embarked on a misbegotten and illegitimate war in Iraq that would have profound and sadly irrevocable consequences on ... the 2005 NFL free-agent market. So says Peter King....
Even High School Football Players Are Destroying Their Brains
The doctor who sliced open the late Mike Webster's brain and determined that football can cause severe and debilitating brain damage has discovered the same sort of neurodegenerative disease in high school players. Are you ready for some Congressional hearing?...
Obama's Agony of Defeat
Our President found one community his thugs couldn't organize into submission: the International Olympic Committee. Without their usual control of the ballots, Obama's adoptive hometown cronies found themselves, for once, on the losing side of an election....