ac Page 1093 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch This Manny Pacquiao Puppet Sing A Sweet Ballad
Unless you have Showtime or are a boxing fan, you probably haven't noticed much buildup for the Manny Pacquiao vs. Shane Mosley fight this weekend. That probably has something to do with the fact that Shane Mosley is not Floyd Mayweather Jr. or a Mexican. Luckily, some dude has been playing around...
An Essay About Osama Bin Laden's Death, Constructed Entirely Out Of Athletes' Tweets
SOURCES: OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD!!! WATCHING CNN NOW... THE PRESIDENT TO ADDRESS THE NATION SHORTLY... I got off the plane,went in my hotel rm, turned on TV, saw all those people outside the WH and thought "did the Skins win another SB?" LOL. Osama Bin Laden dead????? Whoa!!!! Osama Bin Laden Dead. ...
On Steven Seagal And Lyoto Machida's Absurd Crane Kick Knockout Of Randy Couture
On Saturday night, Lyoto Machida landed a spectacular "Danielson" front kick to Randy Couture's jaw that dislodged a molar and sent Couture into retirement. Just as Anderson Silva did in February, when he knocked out Vitor Belfor with a similar kick, Machida credited Steven Seagal for helping him ...
Kings Have At Least One More Year Of Mediocre Basketball Ahead Of Them In Sacramento
"We're going to stay in Sacramento for another year," Kings co-owner George Maloof said today. "We appreciate [the fans'] loyalty to the franchise, and we're going to give Mayor [Kevin] Johnson another try to hopefully bring his vision to reality with a new arena." The vision had better include mone...
Watch Santa Claus Steal A Ball From A Young Fan At Today's A's/Rangers Game Before MLB Takes The Video Down
Tipster R.R. titled this video, "You're an arse if... or... how Santa steals baseballs from kids during his off-season." Early viewers should feel free to comment with vivid descriptions so Craggs and his Crayolas'll have something to work with on the morrow....
This Is What A Windsurfing Accident Looks Like To A Nearby Windsurfer
A couple weeks ago, windsurfer Boujmaa Guilloul was involved in a serious accident while trying to land the elusive Triple Loop at Ho'okipa. It was a water in the lungs, broken fingers type thing....
Here's A Cartoon Rendering Of Roger McDowell's Recent Conversation With San Francisco Giants Fans
Noted prankster and Atlanta Braves pitching coach Roger McDowell has been placed on something called "administrative leave" while the team looks into the anti-gay slurs and gestures he publicly offered the other day. This video from ckettering should help the probe....
Manny Ramirez Isn't Really Going Away
Perhaps you thought Manny Ramirez had faded away into that flickering twilight, where we'd reminisce about what a truly spectacular athlete he was. Some folks, Joe Posnanski foremost among them, would argue for Manny's Hall of Fame credentials, while others would want him nowhere near Cooperstown....
Rick Ross Will Escort Manny Pacquiao For Mosley Fight
Today in delightful cultural crossover: über-icon Manny Pacquiao will join forces with über-icon-in-his-own-mind Rick Ross before he fights über-39-year-old Sugar "Shane" Mosley, who is but a pawn in this sick, sick game, next Saturday....
Royal Wedding Wins Race
Hours after simpleton Middleton and doubly-crowned Prince William wed today, a horse named Royal Wedding won the 5.30 steeplechase at Fontwell, Sussex by three lengths. If this was fixed, it was at a great cost: bookies are predicting a multi-million pound payout, because everyone the world over bel...
Of Pomp And Circumstance
Look, I know you're sick of this, but I think it's worth noting even for the millionth time just what kind of big, dumb spectacle we all watched slackjawed on our stupid televisions: an overhyped and overproduced orgy of excess and inexplicable weeping presided over by a pious relic that perpetuates...
A Brief Examination Of Mick Foley's EBay Firesale
In an attempt to help his son "put gas in the car," lovable polymath wrestler Mick Foley has put up his entire boyhood sports memorabilia collection through a seller on eBay. Dude Love is clearly a sports fan. He was an active collector in the early 1970s, focused on baseball and basketball. He's se...
This Promo For A 1989 Josh Brolin Movie Makes A Convincing Case Against Steroids, Short Shorts
In 1989, the Brolin men co-starred in a made-for-TV movie called Finish Line. We'd never heard of this film until a tipster sent along a link to the promo last week. It's worth watching the clip in its entirety, because as far as we can tell, it doesn't miss a single important moment from the movi...
How Kevin Durant's Jump Shot Knocked Denver Out Of The Playoffs
Kevin Durant, regular-Joe wunderkind, came down the court and drilled a three-pointer from the top of the key with about 3:30 remaining in last night's Game 5 between Oklahoma City and Denver. Then, on his own, the third-year forward personally outscored Denver 14-6, including his team's final nin...
God's Gift Commits To St. John's
St. John's has secured a commitment from God's Gift Achiuwa, a juco All-American. Steve Lavin now has the third-ranked recruiting class for 2011. Who would win in a name-off: God's Gift or Godspower? [ESPN]...
Gloria Allred Had A Rather Erotic Press Conference Yesterday (Mildly NSFW)
Gloria Allred held one of her public shaming events yesterday. She brought a family of four to her Los Angeles office to call out Roger McDowell, the Atlanta Braves pitching coach, for using "homophobic words and sexually suggestive vulgar behavior" in the presence of children:...
Jack Edwards's Baffling Pro-Boston, Anti-Royalty Rant
Noted homer Jack Edwards probably couldn't sleep last night after his beloved Bruins came back to oust the Canadiens in 7 games. But before tossing and turning with visions of Jozef Stümpel dancing in his head, he had some parting words on the NESN postgame show....
"People Are Going To Start Punching Babies": Among The Almost-Thugs In Vancouver
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Watching Canucks fans raise hell last night in downtown Vancouver reminded me of the guys who get paternity-tested on Maury, learn they're not the father and launch into the Ickey Shuffle. Some people are so beat-down that mere relief tastes like a miracle. The Canucks ...
Anonymous Baltimore Orioles Employee Goes To Great Lengths To Inform Us That Coworkers' Wives Also Hate Obama
We received this envelope today, just two days after posting this critique of ESPN's profile on Baltimore Orioles outfielder Luke Scott. Immediate thought: a terrible press release, for some reason sent via paper, or some kind of cease-and-desist letter for misrepresenting Cal Ripken's children's bo...
The Chicago-Indiana Five-Game Shoving Match Is Finally Over
The Pacers-Bulls series, now mercifully complete after Chicago did what they should have done all along and put together a 27-point victory last night, regressed into a shoving, name-calling match with one ejection and two technical fouls in Game 5. After the game, Danny Granger called out Joakim ...