An Essay About Osama Bin Laden's Death, Constructed Entirely Out Of Athletes' Tweets

Emma Carmichael|published: Mon 2nd May, 16:30 2011

SOURCES: OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD!!! WATCHING CNN NOW... THE PRESIDENT TO ADDRESS THE NATION SHORTLY... I got off the plane,went in my hotel rm, turned on TV, saw all those people outside the WH and thought "did the Skins win another SB?" LOL. Osama Bin Laden dead????? Whoa!!!! Osama Bin Laden Dead. Got him. We got his ASS. Osama Bin Laden is DEAD...........wow Obama that's impressive. So, would now be an appropriate time to go streaking across the white house lawn? God bless America.

#WoW!! Obama words are earth moving and inspiring. Obama's swag is thru the roof! #PresidentialSwag. OK...OBAMA!!! #USAWINNING. USA USA USA!! Freedom is the only way YEAH, Terrorists your game is through cause now you have to answer to Team America F*CK YEAH!! Trump you didnt have a shot be4 you def dont have a shot now...

So we was looking 4 BIN LADEN that whole time in a Cave/moutain & this MOFO is hidden in a mansion watching the NBA playoffs! Oh hell naww! They have Bin Laden's body. Never thought we'd see the day. Figured he would be like Hitler and commit suicide or just disappear. He ain't gone be in rush hour 4!! Is it weird that i want to see a pic of his dead body? [W]e should start a campaign.. Hang osama's body in time square. Then pass out darts. Anyone in?

Stating the obvious: Navy Seals are studs. As an adopted New Yorker, I couldn't be more proud of the men and women of our country's military for getting the job done. #USA. Hugging every solider I see in the airport..so emotional & happy for all their efforts. I don't like killing, but killing thousands of innocents is evil... And killing evil is good.

I feel like osama bin ladens people would be pissed and try to get bk at us! What do u think? Is it me or is it really hard to believe Osama bin laden died? I feel like that dude Osama Bin Laden is not dead. Anybody skeptical that bin laden is really dead[?] It took 919,967 deaths to kill that one guy. It took 10 years & 2 Wars to kill that...guy. It cost us (USA) roughly $1,188,263,000,000 to kill that...........guy. But we #winning though. Haaaa. (Sarcasm). What I've learned tonight, athletes shouldn't have perspectives. But I don't care. We feel certain ways about things TOO. #FirstAmendment.

Since we caught Osama do I still have to take my laptop out at security?

(And, as always, there's Curt Schilling.)