ac Page 1125 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Rangers Attempt To Reacquire Stars' Sloppy Seconds
Sean Avery could be a Ranger again soon, according to the New York Post. The exiled Stars' defenseman, who pisses off everyone in the NHL, is currently reconditioning his head for a comeback....
Donuts, Is There Anything You Can't Do?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]....
"Jockeys" Will Teach You Thing Or Two About ... Jockeys
Jockeys are short little people with high voices that everyone makes fun of because they ride ponies for a living, but let me tell you something, brother—these guys (and gals) are complete badasses....
A Cherished Preakness Tradition Is No More
The Maryland Jockey Club is ending the long-standing tradition of spectators bringing their own beer onto the infield at the Preakness Stakes. We like to think we had something to do with that....
Lane Kiffin: Urban Meyer Cheats (And Not Very Well) (Update)
If Lane Kiffin wants to revive Tennessee's rivalry with Florida, stealing two committed players on Signing Day and then publicly accusing the Gators of a recruiting violation is a good way to start....
So Did Dre Kirkpatrick Just Sign With The Atlanta Braves?
National Signing Day jumps the shark on Wednesday as Gadsden High cornerback Dre Kirkpatrick plays Three-Card Monte with caps from Texas, Alabama and ... the Braves?...
The Great American Beckham Experiment Appears to Be Over
Due to return to Los Angeles Galaxy on March 8, Beckham now says he wants to stay in Italy. Tom Cruise and I are just devastated. [The Sun]...
Idiot Fan Attacks Referee (Who Is Also A Cop)
"Rempala said, 'You can't arrest me, you're a referee,' and he pushed the trooper again...once he realized the referee he attacked really was a trooper, [he] reportedly said, 'That's not fair.'" [TimesOnline]...
Gerald Wallace's Tour Bus Will Not Be Rocking (Because Of His Broken Lungs)
Gerald Wallace—still recovering from a collapsed lung—will make the 2,400-mile trip back to Charlotte on a bus. No word on if he will bring 12 drunk women in an effort to find true love. [AP]...
ONE FOOT DOWN
He only had one foot down! One foot! I'll get over this eventually. [The Will Leitch Experience]...
Parents Beating Up Refs; How We've Missed You
This one comes from London, Ontario, and while I'm not sure what age the players are, I'm guessing they are mighty young. (I think it was Henry Kissinger who said that "hockey parents are so vicious, precisely because the players are so small.") The fight itself was largely uneventful—no charges wer...
Hoops Team Tries Performance-Enhancing "Suggestions"
A high school basketball coach in Kansas hypnotizes his struggling team; they win their next game by 10. Hey, it makes as much scientific sense as teaching evolution, am I right? [Wichita Eagle]...
Without Eternal Vigilance, It Could Happen Outside Of Your City College Women's Softball Practice
Santa Barbara police arrested a "middle-aged male" for masturbating in the parking lot where the Santa Barbara City College softball team was practicing. Carl Monday is not amused....
Hey, Did You And I Just Buy Santonio Holmes A New Cadillac Escalade?
Whatever happened to the tradition of General Motors giving the Super Bowl MVP a new car? It happened; it's just that GM wanted to keep the presentation quiet this year. And for good reason....
The God Save The Fan (Paperback Edition) FAQ
Today, the paperback version of God Save The Fan is released to bookstores. There's some stuff that's different than the last version....
On-Court Drowning Nearly The Most Exciting Highlight Of OKC Thunder Season
If you've even been to a live sporting event in North America, then you've probably seen some terrible halftime entertainment—but that's because so few halftimes involve a death-defying act that actually defies death....
In Wisconsin, The Buzzsaw Defeats Truman
Well. At least the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel had supreme confidence in the Arizona Cardinals' defense....
New Snack Food Stadium Rises To Challenge Predecessor's Deliciousness
The question we have to ask ourselves is this: How can mankind continue to build bigger, grander snack food stadiums, yet still fail to cure cancer or achieve peace in the Middle East?...
Jerks Deface Kay Yow Tribute
Pranks between rival colleges are always side-splittingly clever and witty (Goat stealing! Amazing!) but you know what's really funny? Cancer!...
Steeler Victory Parade Is Set ... No Guns, Knives, Nunchucks Please
Yeah, that Steelers victory parade that the city said it couldn't afford? It begins Tuesday at noon at Mellon Arena. [Business Times]...