ac Page 1181 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Barbaro Holiday Gift Giving Guide
As the holidays draw ever closer, it's time for us to address the serious issues; such as what should we get Barbaro for Christmas? You really should start shopping now to beat the rush. Perhaps Barbaro would like to learn a foreign language, so that he can enjoy all of his fan letters from Mexico...
Devoted To The Packers' Backup QB
We found it amusing that, with everyone all concerned about Brett Favre's injury last week, it turned out that he was fine ... but backup Aaron Rodgers ended up out for the season. Has to be frustrating; you're stuck behind Favre, and once you finally get in, you hurt yourself....
Giants Look Anything But Sharp And Dapper
Among the many reasons for Giants coach Tom Coughlin to feel like a bit of a doofus last night, the fact that he was wearing the standard coachwear of a blue poncho festooned with the soul of a windbreaker, while Jack Del Rio finally found a way to not look like a meathead in his rather sharp suit. ...
Hello, Jacksonville, And Welcome Back To The National Stage
After a couple weeks of rather wretched Monday Night Games, we've got a halfway decent one tonight, with the Giants, frantically trying to hold off Tony Romo and the Cowboys in the NFC East, traveling to the urban mecca that is Jacksonville to face the Jaguars....
Dodgers Release Crack Smuggling Minor Leaguer
Kengshill Scheider Pujols is a minor league pitcher with the Vero Beach Dodgers, and the man stuffed 118 bags of crack cocaine into his underwear. The unfortunate thing about it is that he didn't even wait for "Stuff Bags of Crack-Cocaine in Your Underwear" night at Vero Beach, and almost certainly ...
It's A Nice Week To Be Zach Randolph's Lawyer
Zach Randolph's being sued... again. This time by Portland resident Robert Bacote, who accuses Randolph and Qyntel Woods of assaulting and harassing him because they believed he was the guy who alerted authorities to Qyntel Woods' charming dogfighting hobby....
Five Little Words That Started It All
As every schoolchild knows by heart, Nov. 19, 2004 was the date of the Malice in the Palace NBA brawl between the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers. That of course is the fight in which the Pacers' Ron Artest went into the stands to tangle with fans, one of whom he thought had thrown a beverage a...
Barbaro Forever
Good news for Barbaro fans. If the worst should happen, there's still hope that "Bobby" will not be gone for good. In Austin Texas, scientists successfully cloned a barrel-racing horse named Scamper....
The Perils Of Being An Athlete
It's hard out there for an athlete; they face all sorts of dangers that the rest of us mere mortals don't need to fret about it. This is probably why they're all packing heat....
Not Surprisingly, The Buzzsaw Can't Even Do This Right
Last Sunday, during another grueling loss for The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, the halftime show at the University Of Phoenix Stadium intended to honor the late Pat Tillman, who was killed in Afghanistan in April 2004, with the retirement of his jersey on the stadium's Ring Of Honor. A spe...
It's Barbaro's World, We Just Live In It
Well, it's finally happened: Barbaro is now getting letters from other horses. We know this is true because the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine is screening all e-mail to the Barbaro message board these days, and this one got through:...
Own Pac-Man's Car!
As anyone who has dealt with the difficult nature of car salesmen, you sometimes just don't know whom to trust. Fortunately, there's one place you know you can find a good deal on all your automobile needs: Buying cars that were once owned by troubled NFL players and have now been repossessed and ...
An Excuse To Break Out Our Ditka Wine!
If an alien race ever decided to attack us, we know of one sure-fire way to hold off the destruction. Just send this ad into space. It's sure to render potential invaders hopelessly befuddled, so that they veer off toward a stable planet, like Saturn. Heck, we live here, and we're frightened by this...
Unpretentious, With Just A Hint Of Laundry Hamper
Strawberries, cherries and and angel's kiss in spring ... this Ditka wine is really made from all these things ......
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Pacific-10 Conference
Thought we were done previewing things? How could you think that, with your NCAA Basketball Tournament office pool a mere five months away? You've got to start studying now if you want to beat that chick in the mail room. So who's with me? Let's Gooo! (Please send contributions to [email protected]...
Your Tuesday Barbaro Update
It's almost that time of the year again, when Santa hitches Barbaro to his sleigh and delivers gifts to all the good boys and girls throughout the world (except France). What happened to Santa's reindeer? All we'll say: Don't look in the freezer....
Welcome To The Moe Howard 500
Our next story comes from Texas, land of lizards and slapstick, where a NASCAR rivalry boiled over into, well, pretty much what you might expect. Following the Dickies 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on Sunday, an "unidentified crewman for Scott Riggs' team" knocked over driver Kevin Harvick, his wife...
Paul Tracy Can't Drive
When you're drunk and blessed with a natural immaturity, there are few things in life that seem like a better idea than taking a golf cart out for a joyride. Champ Car racer Paul Tracy agrees. At least, he did about a week ago, before he his golf cart flipped and landed on his drunk ass, breaking ...
Some Horses Like Wearing Silk More Than Others
Today's Breeders Cup has me in the mood to punch talk about horses and the magnificent sport of horse racing, so here's something you might not have known: War Emblem, 2002 Kentucky Derby and Preakness champion, is gay....
It's Really Just Cruel To Not Allow Rasheed To Bitch And Moan
Much has been written about the new "zero tolerance" rule in the NBA, which allows referees to slap a technical on anybody who so much as sneezes in their general direction. Already, three players have been ejected because of the new rules, including Mike Bibby, Carmelo Anthony and, yes, Rasheed Wal...