ac Page 1241 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Get Away From Me, Marathoners!
This gentleman is Paul Kapellas, and he lives in Chicago....
Well, That Didn't Take Long At All
Not that you couldn't see this coming, but we'll confess, it's somewhat sooner than we necessarily expected....
The Last Time We're Gonna Talk About This Game
All right, we're gonna talk about this one more time, and then if you bring it up again, we're totally not giving you a cookie....
"The Bears Are Who We THOUGHT They Were!"
We're gonna talk a bit more about last night's Buzzsaw implosion a little later, but we really felt we had to start the day with coach Dennis Green — who is pretty obviously going to be fired before this season ends — putting forth one of the true great postgame press conference explosions. We still...
God, We Hate The Buzzsaw
It is a sublime pleasure, TOTALLY, for a national audience to see just exactly what life is like as a fan of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Jesus. Welcome to the desert, Matt....
Welcome To The NFL, Matty
Because everyone we talk to in St. Louis says it's been raining all day and is likely to rain all night, so we are less than optimistic that we'll see the NLCS Game 5 tonight. Therefore, we must receive our sporting fix tonight from Monday Night Football, or, as we like to call it, "Tony Kornheiser ...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Sacramento Kings
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we continue with the Pacific Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
Five Tiny Tidbits On: NOOCH!
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we continue with the Southwest Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
We Can't Imagine The Minnesota Candidates In 20 Years
We don't know much about politics over here, but one thing we do know: We want our Secretarys of State to have banged some Green Bay Packers....
NFL Week Five, Update #1
• The Tennessee Titans, eighteen-and-a-half point underdogs, could be in the process of pulling off the upset of the freakin' decade. They lead the Colts 10-0 at the half, behind a beautiful Vince Young touchdown run and a secondary that's held Peyton Manning to 56 yards, and Marvin Harrison without...
The Pacers Have Had A Busier Morning Than You
So, you know how the Indiana Pacers have been trying to change their image and become more fan-friendly and less, uh, crime-y?...
We Knew We Were Lame For Letting People With Tees Into Our Birthday Parties
All told, we realize now that our Sunday evening was rather sedate. (Chocolate milk, Fig Newtons and Diner Dash, now that you asked.)...
So This Horse Walks Into A Bar ...
"So yeah, then all these people start sending me letters. Crazy shit, too, like Bible verses, and poems. Like I can read poems ... I'm a horse, ferchristsakes. And now the vets are back putting me into this sling, and I'm twirling around above a tub of water like a goddamned circus sideshow. If th...
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Indiana Pacers
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. Let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team. Today we continue with the Central Division, so do us a favor and send us your tips at [email protected]....
The Will Leitch Suicide Watch
If it's true that Will's got a bad feeling about the upcoming sports weekend, it's probably best that we monitor things, given the events of this past week. I mean, athletes are role models, and you never know how much influence a star wide receiver can have over an impressionable young blogger. N...
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
We mentioned this briefly the other day, but we figure it probably deserves its own post....
"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...
As Pink Taco Leaves, Leinart Arrives
As many of you know by know, the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, ignoring pleas from the unwashed masses, have sold the naming rights to their new stadium. And, as would be expected, it's the most idiotic name possible: The University Of Phoenix Stadium. The name is confusing — so they're i...
Sir, I Strongly Protest Your Driving Habits
We're sure you've seen this, but we kind of had to bring it up anyway. If you're like us, you can't be pulled away from the television with a herd of wild ponies during an ARCA stock car race.* One reason is that these guys are always grapplin', and they aren't just your everyday tussles like you se...
You Know What's Funny? She's Actually The Swimming Judge
Life as a judge in the javelin toss ain't so easy ... there is, for example, the whole issue of being hit with a javelin....