aces Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![There Was An Extra Tool In Today's Braves Tool Race, And This One Got Arrested [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
There Was An Extra Tool In Today's Braves Tool Race, And This One Got Arrested [UPDATE]
Like most ballparks, Turner Field hosts a silly race between costumed characters that represent some sponsoring interest. In the Braves' case, it's the Home Depot Tool Race. Today's Tool Race featured an extra competitor, a fan who raced in from center field and made it to the infield before being...
Russell Wilson's Wife Provides Us With Our Favorite Face Of The Draft
Seattle chose quarterback Russell Wilson in the third round of last night's NFL Draft, and his wife of three months was so excited she immediately began the metamorphosis to boa constrictor....
Feeling Goodell: Who Hugged The NFL Commissioner Longest At Last Night's Draft?
NFL commissioner and disciplinary hardass Roger Goodell has ushered in the Draft Day Hug Era, eschewing the usual handshake photo-ops in favor of giving in to those players who want to give him the bro treatment. Goodell has embraced the embrace to such an extent that it's become the norm. Every pl...
This Texas Rangers Fan Can Do Amazing Things With Her Mouth
And yet this is still only the second-weirdest face ever to appear in the background behind erstwhile sideline reporter Jim Knox. (This would be the weirdest.)...
Bo Van Pelt Tied The Masters Sunday Round Record Of 64 Thanks To This Hole-In-One
Bo Van Pelt came from nowhere in posting a 64 in today's round at Augusta, tying the best-ever score on a Sunday at the Masters and falling a stroke shy of the all-time single-round record. He did it with the help of this ace on the 16th. ...
Winners, Losers, And Weirdos: The Faces Of The First Day Of March Madness
There will be no more gripping and/or sipping in the NCAA tournament, as WKU's miracle run has come to an end after a thrashing by Kentucky. But for every loser there is a winner, so here's a collection of both (as well as the indescribably bizarre) from yesterday's action. ...
Ben Henderson Severely Messed Up Frankie Edgar's Face En Route To Winning The UFC Lightweight Belt
In one of UFC's better title fights of late, Benson Henderson claimed the lightweight belt as he won a unanimous decision over Frankie Edgar at UFC 144 in Tokyo Saturday night. His ability to seize victory came in no small part to this perfectly-placed second-round upkick that mangled Edgar's face,...
NBA Suspends Kevin Love Two Games For Face-Stomping Luis Scola
He may have escaped punishment on the court, but Kevin Love couldn't hide from the NBA league office. The Timberwolves forward will sit two games (against Sacramento and Memphis) for this face-stomp against the Houston Rockets' Luis Scola....
NBC's Photo Montage Of Tom Brady Was Just Ridiculous
NBC's clearly out to make the players in this game look as demented as possible....
Kevin Love Got Away With Stomping On Luis Scola's Face
Kevin Love gave Luis Scola a facial—and not the kind his porn-star epithet might suggest—that somehow eluded detection by referees. The league office, though, might not be so nearsighted. [FS Houston]...
"Cut Back To A Wide Shot. Open The Skull": The <em>Faces Of Death</em> Guy Looks Back
John Alan Schwartz was on a California beach, trying to capture something life-affirming on camera. Or something that at least would contrast with death. He had a woman and a baby in a hot tub. This was going to be the final scene of his 1978 movie Faces of Death—a low-budget stunt project that wo...
The Russian Backwater Samuel Eto'o Now Plays Soccer In Is Too Dangerous For Samuel Eto'o To Live In
Last month, Samuel Eto'o did something very curious and very venal and signed with Anzhi, an obscure team in Russia owned by a rich oil man. Eto'o became the highest paid soccer player in the world ($30 million over three years). But he also has to lace up his boots for Anzhi, which plays in a city ...
A Day At The Rug Races: A Filthy, Hooker-Filled Excerpt That Was Cut From The Upcoming ESPN Book
Next week, excerpts from the long-awaited ESPN oral history Those Guys Have All The Fun will start trickling out, including one next week when the June issue of GQ drops. There are a lot of very nervous people in Bristol right now, and if the following passage is any indication of the book's conten...
This Pink Nightmare Is An Actual Hockey Jersey
The ECHL's Alaska Aces will suit up Sunday night in this Valentine's Day nightie jersey. Remember kids, pink is an acceptable uniform color only if you're fighting breast cancer, or are Bret "The Hitman" Hart....
Cal Ripken's Daughter Called Him That Naughty Thing Written On Billy Ripken's Bat
Mix mild-mannered Cal, respectable NPR and a heaping dose of "fuck face," and you get an embarrassed Peter Sagal trying to identify the offending phrase for the audience without actually saying it. Our tax dollars, well spent. [NPR, Baltimore Sun]...
Matt Hasselbeck Apologizes After Antonio Cromartie Threatens To Smash His Face
Responding to New York Jet Antonio Cromartie's rant about how the players' union needs "to get their sh— together and just get it done," Seattle Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck took to the tubes and "joked" about Cromartie's intelligence....
Scandal! Ohio State Paid For Evan Turner's Braces
There's a well-meaning NCAA program that made $54 million — $500k for OSU — available to players via a "Special Assistance Fund." It's a lovely idea that's sure to be abused in the next big college scandal. [The Lantern, h/t Dan]...
Relive Zenyatta's Breathtaking Run
It is with a heavy sigh of relief that we can report Zenyatta did not have to be euthanized following her run in the Breeder's Cup Classic. She finished 2nd, but it was one of the greatest finishes we've ever seen....
God Gave Mark Dantonio A Heart Attack For Beating Notre Dame, Says Soon-To-Be-Suspended Radio Guy
We said it's time to let the MSU/ND game go. Matt Patrick, of a South Bend talk radio station, should probably have read us before he insinuated that God struck Dantonio down for cheating against the Catholics....
A Look Back At The Many, Many O-Faces Of The World Cup
Let's officially bring this World Cup to a close with a compilation of men celebrating their goals with panache, hugs, pileups, and, in the case of two Italians, a particularly tender shotgun. Enjoy these rambunctious foreigners one last time....