aces Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cal Ripken's Daughter Called Him That Naughty Thing Written On Billy Ripken's Bat
Mix mild-mannered Cal, respectable NPR and a heaping dose of "fuck face," and you get an embarrassed Peter Sagal trying to identify the offending phrase for the audience without actually saying it. Our tax dollars, well spent. [NPR, Baltimore Sun]...
Matt Hasselbeck Apologizes After Antonio Cromartie Threatens To Smash His Face
Responding to New York Jet Antonio Cromartie's rant about how the players' union needs "to get their sh— together and just get it done," Seattle Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck took to the tubes and "joked" about Cromartie's intelligence....
Scandal! Ohio State Paid For Evan Turner's Braces
There's a well-meaning NCAA program that made $54 million — $500k for OSU — available to players via a "Special Assistance Fund." It's a lovely idea that's sure to be abused in the next big college scandal. [The Lantern, h/t Dan]...
Relive Zenyatta's Breathtaking Run
It is with a heavy sigh of relief that we can report Zenyatta did not have to be euthanized following her run in the Breeder's Cup Classic. She finished 2nd, but it was one of the greatest finishes we've ever seen....
God Gave Mark Dantonio A Heart Attack For Beating Notre Dame, Says Soon-To-Be-Suspended Radio Guy
We said it's time to let the MSU/ND game go. Matt Patrick, of a South Bend talk radio station, should probably have read us before he insinuated that God struck Dantonio down for cheating against the Catholics....
A Look Back At The Many, Many O-Faces Of The World Cup
Let's officially bring this World Cup to a close with a compilation of men celebrating their goals with panache, hugs, pileups, and, in the case of two Italians, a particularly tender shotgun. Enjoy these rambunctious foreigners one last time....
Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...
Dear Philadelphia Fans: Tase Yo'selves Before You Wreck Yo'selves
It seemed a bit excessive to zap the towel-waving teenage scamp at CBP, but the black hearts of Phillies fans really could use some seizure-causing high voltage right now....
Dumb Honky Radio Guy Fired For Doing On Twitter What Everyone In Sports Talk Does On Air
Bacsik, the former Nats reliever and leading demographer of the American Southwest, has been fired by KTCK-AM's parent company for all that "dirty Mexicans" business on Twitter the other day. Because sports-talk radio is no place for casual racism and half-drunk stupidity....
Always Tinkering, The Germans Have Decided Sledding Could Use More Nudity
It's tough to find one activity these days that isn't sullied by some lecherous individual pushing the "dude, this would be so much better naked" idea, and in Lower Saxony they've decided that activity should be sledding. (NSFW)...
Tigers And Twins Desperately Trying To Make You Care About Baseball
The 2009 baseball season has been a bit of a dud, drama-wise. So how about a final week double-header that will MEAN EVERYTHING! Or change everything. Or solve nothing? I forget how these dramatic finishes are supposed to work....
Cash From Clunkers: Brett Favre Fined $10K for That Dirty Hit
Say what you will about the morality issues tied in with Mike Vick's return to the NFL, but perhaps it is another QB who's return was much-discussed about whom we should be worrying the most....
The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny ... Again
Two years ago, Colorado's miracle finish lifted a scrappy upstart team to the World Series. Then suddenly they were were terrible again. Now they're on the verge of another miracle comeback. How do they do it (every other year)?...
All The Mutton, None Of The Bustin'
Brainstorm! What if, instead of having scared little children try to ride sheep, we strapped stuffed animals to their backs and made the fuzzy little guys race? Leave it to the Irish to take mutton sports to the next level....
This Episode Is Guaranteed To Gross You Out
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful.(Warning: Disturbing images ahead.)...
Balls, Faces, Etc.
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....
An Action-Packed Evening In Philadelphia With Exploding Faces And Slippery Chases
Cole Hamels finally gets a win. Werth hits a homer that smacks a lady in the face. A kid ran onto the field. At the end of it all — still first place. [The700Level]...
'Hot Girls In Scary Places' To Change TV As We Know It
Other so-called advancements in civilization — Archimedes' foundations of hydrostatics, Einstein splitting the atom — pale in comparison to this: E! Entertainment has a new TV show in which USC Song Girls investigate paranormal activity....
Hey, Did You And I Just Buy Santonio Holmes A New Cadillac Escalade?
Whatever happened to the tradition of General Motors giving the Super Bowl MVP a new car? It happened; it's just that GM wanted to keep the presentation quiet this year. And for good reason....
Two Aces Prove Their Worth
• Rays 9, Red Sox 8 With the two teams' respective aces taking the mound, you just knew it was going to be a swift affair - barely enough time to finish a six-pack - that would be decided by whichever team blinked first and allowed the one and only run to cross the plate. Just kidding. The game las...