aces Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Matt Barnes Tells All The Hos And Tricks What Is What
Matt Barnes got a little angry about...something and decided to take it out on his Twitter followers and anyone who is a fan of spelling and grammar. [JamesPoling.com]...

Dear Philadelphia Fans: Tase Yo'selves Before You Wreck Yo'selves
It seemed a bit excessive to zap the towel-waving teenage scamp at CBP, but the black hearts of Phillies fans really could use some seizure-causing high voltage right now....

Dumb Honky Radio Guy Fired For Doing On Twitter What Everyone In Sports Talk Does On Air
Bacsik, the former Nats reliever and leading demographer of the American Southwest, has been fired by KTCK-AM's parent company for all that "dirty Mexicans" business on Twitter the other day. Because sports-talk radio is no place for casual racism and half-drunk stupidity....

Always Tinkering, The Germans Have Decided Sledding Could Use More Nudity
It's tough to find one activity these days that isn't sullied by some lecherous individual pushing the "dude, this would be so much better naked" idea, and in Lower Saxony they've decided that activity should be sledding. (NSFW)...

Tigers And Twins Desperately Trying To Make You Care About Baseball
The 2009 baseball season has been a bit of a dud, drama-wise. So how about a final week double-header that will MEAN EVERYTHING! Or change everything. Or solve nothing? I forget how these dramatic finishes are supposed to work....

Cash From Clunkers: Brett Favre Fined $10K for That Dirty Hit
Say what you will about the morality issues tied in with Mike Vick's return to the NFL, but perhaps it is another QB who's return was much-discussed about whom we should be worrying the most....

The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny ... Again
Two years ago, Colorado's miracle finish lifted a scrappy upstart team to the World Series. Then suddenly they were were terrible again. Now they're on the verge of another miracle comeback. How do they do it (every other year)?...

All The Mutton, None Of The Bustin'
Brainstorm! What if, instead of having scared little children try to ride sheep, we strapped stuffed animals to their backs and made the fuzzy little guys race? Leave it to the Irish to take mutton sports to the next level....

This Episode Is Guaranteed To Gross You Out
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful.(Warning: Disturbing images ahead.)...

Balls, Faces, Etc.
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful....

An Action-Packed Evening In Philadelphia With Exploding Faces And Slippery Chases
Cole Hamels finally gets a win. Werth hits a homer that smacks a lady in the face. A kid ran onto the field. At the end of it all — still first place. [The700Level]...

'Hot Girls In Scary Places' To Change TV As We Know It
Other so-called advancements in civilization — Archimedes' foundations of hydrostatics, Einstein splitting the atom — pale in comparison to this: E! Entertainment has a new TV show in which USC Song Girls investigate paranormal activity....

Hey, Did You And I Just Buy Santonio Holmes A New Cadillac Escalade?
Whatever happened to the tradition of General Motors giving the Super Bowl MVP a new car? It happened; it's just that GM wanted to keep the presentation quiet this year. And for good reason....

Two Aces Prove Their Worth
• Rays 9, Red Sox 8 With the two teams' respective aces taking the mound, you just knew it was going to be a swift affair - barely enough time to finish a six-pack - that would be decided by whichever team blinked first and allowed the one and only run to cross the plate. Just kidding. The game las...

David Foster Wallace: Sports Writer
Like many aspiring professional typists, I was curious about David Foster Wallace and admired him for his prodigious writing talent, even though I found a huge portion of his writing indecipherable. (I've read the first 22 pages of "Infinite Jest" many, many times, but never past that point. ) Frida...

Olympic Qualifying Is Intense
In case you weren't aware, Olympic qualifying is underway, and the resulting pictures are quite a bit more entertaining than the trials themselves. Continue after the jump for four more faces of agony from yesterday's diving and gymnastics events....

Tim Donaghy Stayed Busy
Details of Tim Donaghy's exploits as a crooked NBA referee are beginning to emerge from the governments investigation, and the NBA must be thrilled. The New York Daily News is reporting that Donaghy influenced upwards of 100 games during his career....

Culprit Found In Eight Belles Tragedy. It's Hillary, Of Course
Backing the wrong horse is always deadly in politics, especially when it's an actual horse. Poor Hillary Clinton. How can someone get into trouble just betting on the Kentucky Derby? By making a huge deal about placing a bet on a horse that had to be destroyed right on the track, that's how. Now PET...

Other Than That, How Was The Race, Mrs. Lincoln?
New weekend editor Christmas Ape tried out to be one of the guys who run the Presidents Races at Washington Nationals games. Here's how it went....

If Only Fox News Also Employed This Premise
The man seated on the right here is Tinker "Ty" Keck, former defensive back for the University of Cincinnati and the XFL Los Angeles Xtreme. He was the first contestant on the new game show The Moment of Truth, which debuted last night. It's an idea that somehow eluded George Mitchell but not the ex...