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Deadspin Up All Night: Cigarettes Will Kill You
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sean will join you for the hockey and related matters in a few. Talk down here....

Shushing Your Kid Is Idiotic
I have three children and they are loud. Just so fucking loud. They're the loudest creatures on the face of the Earth, howler monkeys included. ...

Deadspin Up All Night: She's A Christian
Thank you for continued support of Deadspin. There's basketball on tonight, and everyone's back tomorrow. Happy Father's Day, y'all....

Deadspin Up All Night: More At Home With The Chrome
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Bruins and Blackhawks are on tonight, and that sounds like fun. We'll be back tomorrow to get you through Father's Day....

How To Make Pizza And Infuriate Regional Snobs
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspin columnist today is longtime Deadspinner David Hume....

Deadspin Up All Night: The Message Is Very Plain
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Week's over. Our gang will be here Saturday and Sunday. Have a good one....

My Old Man, On The Scales: Was My Racist Truck-Driver Father A Hero?
Here's a Father's Day treat from the late, great Paul Hemphill. From The Good Old Boys, published in 1974....

Trolley Driver Beats Up Old Man On Crutches, Because Russia
Another one for the archive of the absurd thanks to Russian drivers and their all-seeing dashboard cameras. There's plenty of suspense here, so be sure to watch this video all the way through....

Help! My Balls Smell!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....

Deadspin Up All Night: Learn Something
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sean's around a bit later, so drop on by. Game 4 of the NBA finals tonight. Enjoy your evening....
![Tell Us About Your Horrifying Kitchen Accidents [Warning: Gore]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18qpux9yst4edjpg.jpg)
Tell Us About Your Horrifying Kitchen Accidents [Warning: Gore]
Here, watch, I am going to blockquote myself (from yesterday's Feedbag):...

Why Don't We Let Injured Athletes Use PEDs?
Reliever Ryan Madson missed all of 2012 after Tommy John surgery, but signed with the Angels expecting to be healthy to begin the season. It hasn't happened, and he doesn't seem much closer. So he wonders, "If HGH were legal..."...

Deadspin Up All Night: A Summer Song
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Greg will be joining you shortly for pucks and yuks. Talk down here....

Never Give Your Kid A Cold Shower: Advice From The Worst Dad On Earth
Excerpted from Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood, which makes a great Father's Day gift for foul-mouthed dads everywhere....

He Stopped For A Burrito And, Voila, Saw A Chula Vista Taco-Shop Brawl
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Chula Vista Cat Fight." Tonight's commentator: Rashinal, eyewitness to taco-shop mayhem. (Coming next week: either a ladies' woods spat or an Eastern European prom-gone...

Deadspin Up All Night: Well, We'll Be Free And Easy
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Greg will join you for the basket action tonight—talk down here....

The Four Most Punchable Faces In Human History
Before we get to the Funbag, some notes of vital interest. If you're in New York tomorrow night, I'll be doing Scott Rogowsky's Running Late show over in Brooklyn. It's like a live talk show-type thing. You can buy tickets here. You get a free beer (not kidding) if you mention Deadspin at the door, ...

Dad's Last Visit
Another Father's Day story. This one by Pat Jordan. "Dad's Visit," originally published in AARP back in 2006:...

Deadspin Up All Night: Hush A Wild Violet
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. No playoff sports tonight—so I guess you'll have to talk about Tebow or something. Do so down here....

LeBron's Latest Stunner Was This Demolition Of Tiago Splitter
The Heat made easy work of San Antonio tonight, taking advantage of an off-night by the Spurs' stars to cruise to a Game 2 victory. Yet all anybody wants to talk about is this apocalyptic block by LeBron James....