ads Page 309 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fuck You, Charlie Brown
I showed my kid the Charlie Brown Christmas special the other day and she was depressed for the rest of the week. Why are we still subjecting kids to this awful shit?...

CNN Inexplicably Airs <em>Dumb And Dumber</em> Diarrhea Scene
Right after a report on London student protests, there it was: Jeff Daniels loudly evacuating the contents of his bowels. Your move, FOX News....

Gingerbread Peyton Manning Has Reese's Cup Football, Frosting Dong
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Joba Chamberlain Had The Best Winter Meetings Of Any Yankee
Chamberlain's living it up at Disney World as we speak, and the husky manchild appears to have made a new friend....

"Just Put The Fucking Pizza In The Fucking Oven": LSU Girl Freaks Out At Papa John's
One of America's future leaders has had it up to here with her pizza taking so long. Bonus: fellow student pulls the "hold me back, bro" move while pretending to want to fight her....

The Miami Heat's Bus Is Actually Named LeBus
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Deadspin Classic: The 2008 New York Jets Preview, By Jenn Sterger
The NFL has shipped off its report about Brett Favre's penis to Roger Goodell (more later), but, for now, let's look back on how this all began: with the 2008 Jets preview Jenn wrote for us, and which I'd completely forgotten about....

Finally, An Athlete Wears Protection In Self-Taken Bathroom Photo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is How Captain Awesome Signs His Name
Deadspin has acquired the official petition for change of name that Captain Awesome, the Oregon man formerly known as Douglas Allen Smith, Jr., submitted to the Circuit Court of Lane County in late September. This is his legal signature....

Coach Who Hoped For Butt-Whupping Declares Loss His Career's Biggest Butt-Whupping
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

ESPN Launches Site For Women
espnW launched today, the worldwide leader's new site for the ladies. Go take a look and report back with your findings....

Big Ben Successfully Keeps His Brains From Leaking Out
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

German Santa Drunkenly Stumbles, Pisses, Falls His Way Into History
Bookmark this one for the day when you don't deliver your kid everything he or she asked Santa slide down the chimney with. Hell, bookmark this for when your family looks at you all judgmental while funneling nog....

Cam Newton's "Juice" Is "A Little Sweet" For Sideline Reporter's Taste
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before Snoop Dogg And Waffle House Found One Another
Snoop Dogg posed a question to his Twitter fam just before 11 a.m.: Denny's or Waffle House? Two hours later, Waffle House was a trending topic....

There Was A Damn Good Ending To A Football Game That Damn Near Nobody Watched
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Greatest Collection Of C-List Celebrities Doing Bad Karaoke On A Beach Ever Seen On Norwegian Television
We don't ask you to watch 6-minute long videos too often. We're asking you now....

Do NOT Put Aqua Velva On Your Genitals
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Lady At Cavs Game Confused By LeHomophone
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
