ads Page 393 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Give Us Your Hand. Give Us Your Hand.
Couldn't you like us just us the way we are? When we first started out, it was so good; We had fun. And then you started in on the clothes. Well, we'll wear the darn clothes if you want us to, if, if you'll just like us....

Week In Review: The Smokey Tornado
• Goodbye, Balls. • We guarantee you Dick Vitale's Betamax is flashing 12:00. • It's good to be Brian Urlacher. • Tommy Lasorda claims he doesn't pay for sex, but we know better. • We'll take a camouflage Bible over a neon bible, anytime. • Sorry! • You absolutely cannot kill Rulon Gardner. • Whom s...

We Just Don't Think We Can Continue To Live In A Place That Embraces And Nurtures Apathy As If It Was Virtue
A woman that's so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer — a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people an...

Week In Review: Gobble...Gobble...Make It Rain
• The week just kept getting worse and worse for Pacman Jones. • Peeing in the backseat of a cop car? Bad idea. • Michael Irvin, ESPN hardly knew ye. • Taking way too long to destroy a mascot. • This is what it has come to: Rocky Balboa is on steroids. • One bad-ass hockey fight. • Tom Brady, procre...

110. Get A Job, Punk.
We saw your last fight, Shawrelle. Spent so much time face down, we thought the canvas had titties....

Week In Review: An Elephant Attacks A Car
• Goodbye, Mr. Schottenheimer. • We do love ourselves some dog show. • This video is what we thought it was, and so much more. • Fat man dancing! Woo! • Jamar Smith is about to go the way of Chief Illiniwek. • It's always fun to play with Craig's List. • Now your "conversations" are with the Associa...

If Jesus Came Back And Saw What's Going On In His Name, He'd Never Stop Throwing Up
A week ago we bought a rifle ... we went to the store, and we bought a rifle! We were gonna, you know, if they told us we had a tumor, we were gonna kill ourselves. The only thing that might have have stopped us is that our parents would be devastated. So, you know, we would have had to shoot them a...

Week In Review: You Can't HANDLE John Amaechi!
• We welcomed the great Will Blythe to these here parts. • To repeat: We feel bad for this guy's little brother. • A look at Harold Reynolds' contract. • A.J. Daulerio filed his last report from Miami and then took a well-earned vacation. Look out for Stu! • Hello, Santiago! • Ron Zook, kicking your...

Like A Blind Man At An Orgy, We Were Going To Have To Feel Our Way Through
We like our sex the way we play basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible....

The Last Of Those Old Spice Polls
You know those Old Spice ads they're running around here, where you can win Final Four tickets? (That's what they tell us, anyway.) Well, here's the last one. Hope you got the first two right, we guess....

Week In Review: Who Says Super Bowl Week Is Boring?
Jesus, people: What a week....

Daulerio At Superbowl XLI: The Mustache Will Not Be Going to Maxim Tonight
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. This is the final entry of the week, though he might be back this weekend and will definitely be back Monday....

Non Movie Quote Sponsors Post
For the first time in more than a year, we have no movie quotes for you in the sponsors post this week, mainly because it would get too cluttered and confusing. (We were going to choose something obscure, independent and weird, so it's probably for the best.) Instead, there's another sponsor poll we...

Daulerio at SBXLI: Hello, Blue Carpet, Goodbye, McNabb
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Here's the second of his two tales from Miami for today....

Daulerio at SBXLI: The Clevelander, Redux
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Here's the first of his two tales from Miami for today....

Daulerio at SBXL: Alex Brown Goes Back to Bourbon Street; Stuart Scott Attempts To Jack Himself Up
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Last night, he hit the motherlode. This is the final of his three tales from a crazed night....

What This Means For Us: The Chicago Bears
Way back in August, we asked various writers to preview their favorite NFL teams as the season approached. (We think the most famous was James Frey's "preview" of the Cleveland Browns.)...

Daulerio at SBXLI: The Playmaker
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Last night, he hit the motherlode. This is the second of his three tales from a crazed night....

Daulerio at SBXLI: Sean Salisbury, Mayor Of Miami
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Last night, he hit the motherlode. This is the first of his three tales from a crazed night in which, as this picture clearly shows, he sneaked into the right media party....

Daulerio at Super Bowl XLI: Do Not Step On The Blue Carpet
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Here's the story of his brief time at Media Day. Today is the official kick off of Media Day Shitshow at the Miami Convention Center, where the world's greatest sports journalists and media gnats convene and att...