ale Page 162 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Striker Bails Out Goalkeeper's Fuck-Up With Even Bigger Fuck-Up
Most of the European soccer leagues haven’t even started yet and we already have an early contender for worst miss of the season. Take a bow, Valentin Costache of Dinamo Bucuresti, for this truly is an impressive feat of ineptitude....

Cooperstown Brought Together Bud Selig And Angry Expos Fans One Last Time
COOPERSTOWN, N.Y.—It was always going to be a losing proposition. I came here for Hall of Fame induction weekend with one question: Where are the Bud Selig fans?...

Report: Two NFL Linemen Sued Over Unpaid $10,000 Nightclub Bill
Two NFL players are involved in a lawsuit stemming from a March incident involving declined credit cards and a $10,000 bill racked up in a single evening at a Hollywood nightclub, according to a TMZ report....

Scottish Soccer Team Launches Investigation To Find Horny Twitter User
Fans often go to the Twitter accounts of soccer teams to watch video of someone scoring. That’s nothing surprising. But when followers of Scottish Premiership club Inverness Caledonian Thistle looked at the team Twitter account’s list of favorited tweets, they saw an entirely different sort of scori...

Report: Cardale Jones Cried Tears Of Joy After Being Traded From Buffalo To The Opposite Of Buffalo
After a frustrating rookie season in which he appeared in just one game for Buffalo, Cardale Jones has been traded to the Los Angeles Chargers in exchange for a draft pick. As ESPN’s Adam Schefter told Mike and Mike this morning, the quarterback wasn’t exactly sad to hear the news:...

Important Nick Young Update: Nick Young Is No Longer Afraid Of Dolphins
In the far off days when Nick Young was still on the Lakers and Iggy Azalea was relevant, we learned of Swaggy P’s delfiniphobia, which apparently stemmed from an attempted drowning by one of the majestic sea creatures while on vacation with his then-girlfriend Azalea in Cabo. From ESPN:...

<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Nakedly Shills For Tom Brady's Dangerous Quack Guru
On Monday, Sports Illustrated’s Greg Bishop published a story about Tom Brady’s longevity that greatly credited the quarterback’s fitness guru, Alex Guerrero, while failing to properly address the fact that Guerrero has been sued multiple times for fraud and has run afoul of the FTC for hawking prod...

Daley Blind Is Okay Posting This Image On His Social Channels With The Following Copy
Manchester United player Daley Blind wants you to know that he’s ready for the next match, and also that he’s not very good at copying and pasting. ...

Here Is A Very Silly And Satisfying Home Run
Jose Canseco’s off-the-head home run will always be a great baseball lowlight, but I think Reno Aces right fielder Zach Borenstein has him beat....

Just Two Minutes Of The Cardinals Completely Fucking Up
The St. Louis Cardinals are submitting quite the wet fart of a season. They finished the first half at 43-45 and are currently sitting in fourth in the NL Central with a 47-51 record. This team is a bunch of bums....

There's No Reason To Write Credulously About Tom Brady's Quack Trainer
Sports Illustrated’s Greg Bishop has a piece out today about the steps older athletes are taking to stay in playing shape. A good chunk of it deals with Tom Brady and his fitness guru, Alex Guerrero. Within that chunk Bishop submits his entry for Most Embarrassing Parenthetical Of The Year:...

USMNT Takes Healthy Halftime Lead Thanks To Two Unlikely Heroes<em></em>
The USMNT leapt out to a 2-0 first-half lead over El Salvador thanks to goals from two unlikely players. Despite Jozy Altidore and Clint Dempsey lining up together as a striking partnership, the scoring came from defenders Omar Gonzalez and Eric Lichaj....

The Rockets Are For Sale
If you have a few billion dollars lying around and want to own a good NBA team, now’s your shot....

Astros' Alex Bregman Deletes Account After Sending DMs To Critic
Houston Astros third baseman Alex Bregman is currently batting .256 in the majors and .000 in online fan interactions. Last weekend, Bregman was apparently searching his name on Twitter, where he seemed to have found the tweets of @AllenH83. Allen was not wholly enamored by Bregman; his tame opinion...

Business-Ass A-Rod Wanders Around Diamond Looking Official As Hell
At the top of the All-Star Game’s second inning, old retiree A-Rod seemed super psyched to be back on the diamond. The former superstar gave the Jimmy Fallon treatment to the NL infield, flattering and laughing with the younger crowd....

A Screaming Fan Helped Knock Out Simona Halep At Wimbledon
After Wimbledon two-seed Simona Halep and six-seed Johanna Konta split the first two sets of their quarterfinal match in tiebreaks, the deciding set was a tense affair, with fans groaning and gasping after every point. At 5-4, 40-15, Konta was serving for the match. Halep pinned the Brit to the base...

Jacques Ysaye, Who Composed "Brass Bonanza," Dead At 94
Jacques Ysaye, who wrote the catchiest jingle in hockey and possibly all of sports, died last week in Brussels, according to a post on his Facebook page. He was 94....

Watch Large Silly Galoot Alexander Ovechkin Do Some Shirtless Cavorting
Here is a video of a shirtless Alex Ovechkin being a big happy goober while music plays:...

Arsenal Finally Buy The Expensive Striker They've Been Needing For Years<em></em>
Gonzalo Higuaín. Edinson Cavani. Luis Suárez. Karim Benzema. Jamie Vardy. Jackson Martínez. Álvaro Morata. Kylian Mbappé. These are just some of the established, expensive star strikers (or young studs on the come up) that Arsenal have been linked to in recent years. During these years, filling the ...

Nick Young Makes Perfect Sense On The Warriors
The most whimsical and doomed NBA teams in recent memory were those Washington Wizards squads between 2008 and 2012 that featured Gilbert Arenas pooping in teammates’s shoes, JaVale McGee fucking up all over the court, and Nick Young pulling up and laying bricks about 20 times a game. Thanks to the ...