ale Page 162 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alex Ovechkin's Bullet One-Timers Will Never Get Old
The Washington Capitals entered the second period tonight against the Bruins down 2-0, and after a couple of scoreless games prior, they were staring down the longest goal drought in team history. But Lars Eller ended the struggle at 12:31, and less than two minutes later, Alex Ovechkin took a power...

Jack Wilshere Is Still Alive And Still Capable Of Hitting Beautiful Passes
Today, geriatric 25-year-old Jack Wilshere managed to avoid doing a few typical Jack Wilshere things (like getting sent off for a dumb tackle or injuring himself while charging into a dumb tackle or serving a suspension for a previous sending off in the aftermath of a dumb tackle) just long enough t...

Tom Brady Gets Snappy When Asked About His Sketchy Guru's Rift With Bill Belichick
The Boston Globe recently revealed that Tom Brady’s extremely sketchy personal fitness guru Alex Guerrero was banned from the Patriots’ planes and sidelines. Guerrero, a modern snake oil salesman, seems to have irritated head coach Bill Belichick, which has naturally led to speculation about how Br...

Report: Tom Brady's Quack Doctor Banned From Patriots' Planes And Sidelines
Alex Guerrero has maintained a strange relationship with the Patriots since 2013. He operates the TB12 therapy center next to the Patriots stadium, where he treats players, and his relationship with Brady affords him access to Patriots sidelines and the team plane. However, a day after rumors surfac...

Tom Brady Sidesteps Question About Whether His Quack Guru And Belichick Have Beef
The scuttlebutt around the Patriots, per recent media reports, is that Bill Belichick isn’t too fond of Tom Brady’s quack personal trainer and business partner, Alex Guerrero. (Guerrero is the “brains” behind the pseudoscience upon which Brady’s bullshit wellness program is built.) According to Pro ...

Chicharito And Pablo Zabaleta Crack Each Other Up With Jokes They Don't Understand
For evidence of the contagious nature of laughter, just watch this video of Spanish-speaking West Ham players Javier Hernández and Pablo Zabaleta telling each other pun-heavy jokes in English. Note how they and you, the viewer, melt into giggly puddles even though they very clearly don’t have the sl...

I Went To A Dive Bar Wrestling Show With No Ring And Nobody Got Arrested
December is a crowded month for pro wrestling in New York City. Ring of Honor has their annual Final Battle at the Hammerstein Ballroom, Evolve and local promotion House of Glory both have major shows, WWE has its annual Christmas week event at Madison Square Garden, and so on. The weirdest event of...

Skeleton Rider Messes Up Immediately
Alexander Tretiakov is one of the best skeleton riders in the world, but he will not be in Pyeongchang. His 2014 gold medal was stripped for doping, and he was banned from all future Olympics. So today’s IBSF World Cup race in Innsbruck, Austria, might just have been his last chance at a major medal...

Jalen Brunson Broke Temple, Again
PHILADELPHIA — Temple was on a run, and the Liacouras Center was rocking. It was a big game. Villanova came into North Philly last night as the No. 1 team in the nation. The Wildcats had won 21 consecutive Big 5 games—an unprecedented streak in Philly hoops history....

MLB Umpire Dale Scott Retires After Series Of Concussions
Longtime MLB umpire Dale Scott has decided to retire, citing a string of concussions in recent years and his fear that any more could lead to long-term health effects....

Ugly Soccer Match Becomes Much Better After Dog Invades The Pitch
Macedonian club Vardar hosted Norway’s Rosenborg in blah blah blah oh wow, look at this cute doggy that interrupted the game!...

Nikki Haley: It's An "Open Question" Whether U.S. Athletes Will Attend 2018 Olympics
Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley said tonight that it’s an “open question” whether U.S. athletes will attend the upcoming Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea....

Norwegian Cup Winner Fucks Trophy
Lillestrøm won the Norwegian Football Cup yesterday, with a 3-2 victory over Sarpsborg, and defender Aleksander Melgalvis celebrated very enthusiastically—by taking all his clothes off onstage and then placing his dick inside the trophy, so as to keep things modest. ...

The Chiefs Are Flailing
The Chiefs have posted a winning record in all four seasons with quarterback Alex Smith and head coach Andy Reid, but they’ve only won one playoff game. Last summer, there was some talk of giving first-round draft pick QB Patrick Mahomes II a shot instead of Smith. Mahomes, a Big 12 gunslinger, was ...

Is Alex Ovechkin DUN DUN DUN ... A Russian Agent?
Seeking to explain why Alex Ovechkin started the PutinTeam “social movement” earlier in the fall, a trio of Washington Post reporters went long on the Ovechkin-Putin bromance, and the genesis of Ovechkin’s PutinTeam launch. It’s a sprawling piece of work that explores both the origins and the effect...

The A-Rod Tidbits In This Anne Wojcicki Profile Are A Wacko Delight
The New York Times just ran a profile of Anne Wojcicki, founder of the genetic testing company 23AndMe, and it’s exactly what you’d expect from a styles section piece headlined “The Doyenne of DNA Says: Just Chillax with Your Ex.” Yep. It’s Wojcicki talking about her ex-husband Sergey Brin and her e...

Javale McGee Ages Like A Fine Wine<em></em>
Keen eyes noted that McGee seems to be channeling the black mage from Final Fantasy....

South Carolina Women's Basketball Team Declines White House Invite To "Focus On The Season Ahead"
The South Carolina women’s basketball team, last season’s champions, have declined an invitation to visit the White House tomorrow due to what coach Dawn Staley described as a scheduling conflict and a desire to focus on their current play:...

Patrice Evra Suspended, Cut From Team After Kicking Fan In The Face
Last week, Marseille defender Patrice Evra roundhoused one of his team’s fans in the face before a Europa League match and was suspended indefinitely by his club while they awaiting UEFA’s official punishment. That official punishment has now come down, and it will end Evra’s season and perhaps care...

Jalen Ramsey On Fight With A.J. Green: "I Told Him Almost Every Play That He Was Weak"
Jaguars cornerback Jalen Ramsey is only in his second season but is already one of the strongest shit-talkers in the league. So it wasn’t all that surprising when his chattering triggered a full-on meltdown by A.J. Green. Today, Ramsey told reporters what he said to make Green so angry....