america Page 177 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Linebacker Ryan Davis Exits AAF Game On Stretcher After Injuring His Neck While Colliding With A Teammate
Orlando Apollos linebacker Ryan Davis Sr. had to be helped onto a stretcher on Sunday after suffering an injury to the head and neck area late in the first half of his team’s game against the San Antonio Commanders....
The Promise Of The AAF Has Been Made And Broken Before
Football is a lie unto the body. The better you tell it, the better you play. Whether running routes, disguising coverage, juking a defender, or pretending you aren’t hurt: Football is about deception. The Alliance of American Football began its inaugural season last weekend, when eight new football...
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?<em></em>
It’s here! It’s finally here! Every year it seems like the big day will never come, but it’s here. It’s the day to gather with your family and friends ‘round the hearth, warm beverages and sweet treats at the ready, and have a hearty chortle over the things America stuck inside itself and couldn’t r...
Hugh Freeze Gets New Job In Football League That Doesn't Exist Yet
Former Ole Miss head coach Hugh Freeze, who lost his job after details of his escort-calling came to light, has been looking to get back into coaching football for over a year. He recently blamed the “climate in America” on his persisting joblessness, but he can now put those complaints to bed. Hugh...
No, It's Not Good News, It's Never Good News And Never Will Be Again
Here is a good technique: anytime this or that Trump stooge or Republican or conservative (they’re all the same thing, really) makes surprising headlines, and you find yourself wondering if they might have done it for reasons you can respect or admire or at least in which you might possibly vest som...
The Horror On TV
That all of this—the unalloyed and dovetailing lust for power of one white male sociopath and the aggregate of white men, the future of the highest judicial body in the country, that country’s total failure to assign any kind of consequence to sexual violence, America’s marrow-deep hatred and fear a...
Restructured United Soccer League Apes Everything British, Except For What Matters
The levels of the American soccer pyramid are confusing, mostly because they are make-believe. Every level of the world’s real soccer pyramids are clearly numbered, linked with flights of stairs, and constantly shuffle teams up and down depending on the results of a clear and meritocratic process. A...
Yep, America's Worst Human Is Still President
Hey pals. How’s your morning been? Did your Breakfast Behemoth turn out okay? Here’s what the President of the United States has been up to:...
<i>Washington Post</i> Op-Ed: John McCain Will Haunt Donald Trump Into Defeat From The Mirror Dimension
An increasingly prominent part of my life in 2018 is the urge to grab and cling onto anything that seems, even a little bit, like it might be the thing that Finally Defeats Donald Trump. No small portion of my day is spent managing my relationship to that urge, struggling against its downward pull, ...
Remember All Those Other Times The <i>National Enquirer</i> Squashed Scandals For Powerful People?
The New York Times reported yesterday that David Pecker, chairman of American Media Inc., which publishes the National Enquirer, has been granted immunity by the federal prosecutors investigating whether the president funneled hush money to women with whom he had affairs. Here’s how that worked, acc...
New Marketing Deal Will Bring Regular Season La Liga Match To The U.S.
After years of seeing meaningful games from our own major sports shipped abroad by the greedy leagues that control them, U.S. sports fans are about to find themselves on the opposite side of that transaction. Thanks to a new marketing deal, Spain’s La Liga will play a regular season match stateside,...
Soccer On American TV Is Going Straight To A Fiery, Paywalled Hell
Back in the golden age of soccer TV in the U.S.—think back, if you were lucky enough to be there for them, to those naive, innocent, halcyon days of 2016—America was the best place on earth to be a couch-dwelling soccer fan. In those heady times, stateside followers of the beautiful game could gorge...
How Is This Shit Legal
This past spring, Michael Ferro resigned as chairman of publicly traded media-looting hell-company Tronc, Inc., just ahead of the publication of sexual harassment allegations against him. As a parting gift, Tronc paid him $15 million, voluntarily bundling up the total value of a three-year consultin...
Americans Are Playing In The World Cup, Just Not For Our Shit-Ass National Team
This was always going to be a terrible World Cup for Americans, seeing as our boys choked like a bunch of chump-ass pissbabies and didn’t qualify for the tournament. However, the tournament hasn’t been completely devoid of American soccer excellence. It’s just that none of that American excellence a...
Trump Unable To Remember Words To "God Bless America" At Performance Commissioned To Prove His Patriotism
Donald Trump’s hastily arranged replacement for the Super Bowl champion Eagles’ White House visit featured the president making a very brief appearance to talk about how great the economy is and, then, stand awkwardly while mouthing maybe half the words to “God Bless America” like a Yankees fan in r...
If The Last Week Is Any Indication, The XFL Revival Is Somehow Still Alive
It looked grim for Vince McMahon’s notional reboot of the XFL when Charlie Ebersol announced his Alliance of American Football in March, given that Ebersol’s league featured more fully-realized versions of McMahon’s ideas and an earlier launch date. But, surprisingly and perhaps inexplicably, rumors...
US Lacrosse Investigated Anti-Native Racism Allegations, Has Not Reinstated Expelled Native Teams<em></em>
In April, Deadspin published a story about three Native American youth lacrosse teams that were expelled from the Dakota Premier Lacrosse League after voicing concerns about systemic racism within the league to administrator Corey Mitchell....
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Grandma's Bank Shot
In Arizona, one Native grandma will conclude her rez ball career with a perfect shooting percentage and the respect of every coach in the nation for hustling back on defense....
You Can't Bully These Motherfuckers
When I write that CNN politics writer Chris Cillizza is the rankest assbrain in the Western Hemisphere, I am not being nice to him. When I write that God clowned Chris Cillizza before he was born by making him Chris Cillizza instead of a shit-eating maggot, I am being unkind. When I say that Chris C...