america Page 190 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Chilean Satire Mag Makes A Funny About Messi Getting Finger Up His Butt
“Get ready, Messi,” Chilean magazine The Clinical writes, riffing on Chile defender Gonzalo Jara’s recent finger-in-the-butthole move, as well as Lionel Messi’s oft-mentioned otherworldly abilities ahead of Saturday’s Chile-Argentina Copa América final. Pretty clever, you guys!...
Lionel Messi Turns Two Defenders Into Larry And Moe
Look at the image above. It appears to show two well-positioned Paraguayan defenders on the cusp of shepherding the ball away from Lionel Messi. Now, watch the video below, where Messi skips past one, nutmegs the other, and generally jukes them so hard that they crash into each other, left helpless ...
"An Absolute Glitterbomb": Chile Takes Lead On Long-Distance <i>Golazo</i>
Chile launched Estadio Nacional into ecstasy when Edu Vargas landed an unreal screamer to put the host side up 2-1 on Peru just minutes after Gary Medel had equalized for the Peruvians in the Copa America semifinal. As you might expect, it sent beIN announcer Ray Hudson into orgasmic screams....
Paraguayan Soccer Player Wins Game On PK, Uncle Dies Of Heart Attack
Paraguay put down Brazil in the Copa America last night, winning on penalties after Derlis Gonzalez equalized on a penalty in the second half and converted the deciding goal in the shootout. Reportedly, in the excitement of watching the winning shot, his 44-year-old uncle died of a heart attack. ...
Evil Soccer Man Sticks His Fingers Up Opponent's Butthole
What part of “you can’t use your hands” don’t you get, Gonzalo Jara? And Cavani was the one who got sent off? There’s no justice in this world....
Neymar Suspended For The Rest Of Copa América
Yesterday, we lamented the preliminary two-match suspension handed down to Neymar because of his actions at the end of the Brazil-Colombia game. We now know for (almost) certain that we have seen the last of Brazil’s stud for the Copa América, as his suspension has been increased to four games....
Neymar Given Two-Match Suspension For Shenanigans After Colombia Loss
Colombia beat Brazil 1-0 last night in the Copa América, Los Cafeteros’ first win over the South American giants since 1991. But instead of the impressiveness of the feat (and Brazil’s continued struggles) taking center stage, the kerfuffle that broke out after the final whistle has overshadowed the...
Neymar, Brazil's Soccer Messiah, Is Somehow Surpassing His Own Hype
A fundamental part of the marvel that is LeBron James is the sheer madness of his journey. Here is a man who was on the cover of national magazines and playing in front of millions on cable TV as a high schooler, who by the time he was eligible to vote was already being hailed as the successor to qu...
<i>Sports Illustrated</i>'s American Pharoah Cover Is Marvelous
Horse racing is a gorgeous, cinematic sport, but a horizontal one. The length of the track, the laterality of movement, the dimensions of the horses themselves, all lend themselves to landscape. So how to translate the biggest racing moment in 37 years to the cover of a magazine? Sports Illustrated ...
This Is What It Would Look Like If American Pharoah Raced Secretariat
The Wall Street Journal has put together a cool split screen video comparing American Pharoah’s Triple Crown winning Belmont race to Secretariat’s historic Belmont victory in 1973....
American Pharoah Owner Says Horse Will Run Again This Year
American Pharoah owner Ahmed Zayat plans for his Triple Crown-winning horse to run again in 2015. ...
American Pharoah Wins First Triple Crown Since 1978
American Pharoah won today’s Belmont Stakes and completed horse racing’s first Triple Crown since Affirmed in 1978. American Pharoah won the race with a time of 2:26.55, beating Frosted by five lengths in a dominating performance. Victor Espinoza spoke for the world: “Holy shit!”...
Seahawks Punter Competes On A<i>merican Ninja Warrior</i>, Loses
For the record, I’m pretty sure every member of the Deadspin staff would fail on the first American Ninja Warrior obstacle. None of us are professional athletes, either, so we’re not sure whether to be impressed or underwhelmed by Seahawks punter Jon Ryan’s very short appearance on last night’s epis...
"Amazing Grace" Played By Airhorns Is Our New National Anthem, Breh
Please, a moment of extreme silence to honor America and our Lord, for here is “Amazing Grace” played by a choir of airhorns. Hats off, hands on your hearts. Please direct your local place of worship to add this to the docket this Sunday, as it is both religious and our new national anthem. I litera...
Marlins Man Is Everywhere
American Pharoah races to a Preakness win and sets up a shot at the Triple Crown, all while Marlins Man watches....
Wimpy White Dudes With Guitars Ruined <i>American Idol</i>
American Idol is finally dead, to the delight of those who’ve always hated it, and the relief of those who used to love it. At the peak of its reign, the show was everything to everyone: the launching pad for the pop careers of Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and Taylor Hicks; the linchpin of the ...
Darío Benedetto Beats Keeper With Beautiful Curler From 25 Yards Out
Costa Rican side CS Herediano took a 3-0 lead into the second leg of their CONCACAF Champions League semifinal against Mexico's Club América. They have it in the bag, right? Yeah, not so much. As of this posting, just 30 minutes into the game, Club América leads 5-0, and a Herediano player was just ...
The Police Are America's Terrorists
Last Saturday, Walter Scott was driving his Mercedes in North Charleston, S.C., when he was pulled over by police officer Michael Slager for driving with a broken taillight. Scott had a complicated life, as many of us do. He was employed and engaged; he owed back child support; in all likelihood...
Utah Tribe Impeaches Chairwoman For Taking Redskins Bribe
On Thursday, the Tribal Council of the Paiute Indian Tribe of Utah voted unanimously to boot the tribe’s highest-ranking elected official, Chairwoman Gari Lafferty. ...
Paiute Tribal Leader Faces Impeachment For Taking Redskins Gifts
A football autographed by Robert Griffin III ain't worth what it once was. But it might still cost a Utah tribal official her job. ...