NEW YORK — I can’t even get the binoculars to work.

Kittens are cute. So cute, in fact, that it can seem unimaginable they would be capable of hatching diabolical plots like stealing food off the counter, clawing your foot if the foot moves under a blanket, peeing repeatedly on your favorite rug, or fashioning itself into a cat cannonball and launching through an empty…

Longtime Miami Heat big man Udonis Haslem—present tense, as Haslem is still on the active roster despite averaging less than a point per game in 14 appearances last year—is suing a Florida animal hospital and one of its doctors for castrating his prized show dog, thus denying the three-time NBA champion the…

There you are, enjoying a nice beverage at a sports betting bar in France, when—bam, there’s a horse in the damn establishment and it’s wrecking all your shit.

There you are, in your boat, kayaking, in the water, in New Zealand or whatever. Here it comes, a seal! Or is it a sea lion? Does this matter? More on that later. What does it have in its—oh. It’s an octopus! What...

Wrigley Rat made his late-season case for NL MVP in Wednesday night’s game. Photographer Will Byington was filming as the tenacious, indefatigable little rodent tried repeatedly to make the leap from the fencing above the ivy to berm in center field.

A poor, foolish possum somehow made its way into the stands at Thursday night’s Jets-Browns game, in Cleveland. Maybe he’s a big Baker Mayfield fan! It’s unlikely the little fellow had a valid ticket—as such, he was captured and put into a box by a jersey-clad gentleman who seems really admirably comfortable handling…

The wonderful state of New Hampshire—full disclosure: I grew up in New Hampshire—has made national news this week, as the world has been captivated by the Granite State’s inability to properly dispose of a dead minke whale that washed ashore at Jenness Beach in Rye Monday. Though a juvenile, the whale’s carcass was…

The Red Sox, healthy, secure, surging toward the best season in franchise history, played with the toy skeleton of a rat in their dugout Friday night, mounting it on the dugout wall and putting seeds in its little mouth. Ha ha! The Mets, helpless, sick, crawling along in ignominy toward the conclusion of another lost…

In their ninth MLS season, the Philadelphia Union finally (finally) have a mascot. It seems like mere days ago he was a giant egg at the Philadelphia Zoo, which at least indicated that he was not a mammal, or was at least a monotreme. Today, we all got the big news:

Golfers are used to having to contend with environmental hazards, from violent winds, to prehistoric swamp monsters, to fires spewed forth from the bowels of the earth. During one recent round in Massachusetts, golf aficionado Daniel Adams was confronted with the added challenge of a thieving fox. After several of his…

Before he was the regular goalkeeper at Chelsea, Thibaut Courtois was the number one at Atletico Madrid when they burst onto the La Liga scene to challenge the duopoly of Barcelona and Real Madrid. Now, since his transfer to Real earlier this week, Courtois has been forced to awkwardly answer for his past as a member…

Gahhhhh. This is an awful thing that should never happen—with any living creature, not just a dusty flying bug—but Yankees-White Sox umpire Bruce Dreckman was remarkably calm when a small, moth-like animal (most likely a moth) flew into his ear between innings.

The law should be: Once an escaped non-pet animal has been on the loose long enough for the local news to show up and get it on video, it has claimed its freedom and gets to be a wild animal after that. You may transport it to its natural habitat if you want to and are able to do it safely and humanely—solely on the…

This morning, residents in Boise, Idaho, woke up to approximately 75 marauding goats roaming from house to house, eating everything in their path like a plague of slow-moving, adorable locusts.

This has been an especially draining news day, and the most prominent sporting event tonight is *shudders* the MLS All-Star Game, so the time has come to look at some dogs. Please, appreciate the innocence and enthusiasm of these good boys named Bentley and Charlie, who both like peanut butter very much, oh yes they…

We have a very happy update for you in the case of Helen, the horn shark who was the subject of a daring stroller heist this weekend at the San Antonio Aquarium. Not only has Helen been found, but she appears to have been lovingly cared for by her captor, who stole her in the first place because he used to have a horn…

If you saw a baby being pushed in a stroller near the San Antonio aquarium on Saturday afternoon, guess what, it might have been a shark. According to Leon Valley police chief Joseph Salvaggio, three enterprising shark thieves made off with a three-foot long horn shark around 2:15 p.m. on Saturday after grabbing it…

Wallace is an 11-year-old mule who used to annoy Irish villagers by eating their flowers. After a lengthy battle over his right to compete in dressage, he is now a winner and hero to common beasts.

Weeks after being crowned the World’s Ugliest Dog, 9-year-old bulldog Zsa Zsa died Tuesday. She was assassinated while delivering a speech at a town hall. No, okay, she passed in her sleep.