animals Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Are Good Young Racehorses Ending Up As Meat 7,000 Miles Away?
Two years in the life and death of a racehorse:...
Von Miller Avoids Charges For Bloody Shark Photo; Boat Owner Gets Two Counts
Denver Broncos linebacker Von Miller won’t face any charges for catching and posing with a bloody hammerhead shark one year ago, according to a March 2019 charging document from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. TMZ reported the news last month, but USA Today followed up today and...
Turkey Vulture Flies Through Stephen A. Smith's Office Window In Attempted Bird-On-Bird Violence
The turkey vulture, which lacks the bird voice organ known as a syrinx, is a generally mute bird, with vocalizations limited to grunts and hisses. So maybe it was just professional jealousy that sent one Connecticut turkey vulture hurtling into the ESPN office of Stephen A. Smith, a bird known not j...
Fantasy Birding Is Real, And It's Spectacular
I became unreasonably passionate about fantasy sports for the very first time in my life. Not fantasy football or baseball or anything like that. I got into fantasy birdwatching....
Colorado Runner Kills Mountain Lion With His Bare Hands After It Attacks Him
Yesterday afternoon, a trail runner was out for a run alone in the Horsetooth Mountain Open Space area outside of Fort Collins, Colorado, when he was attacked by a mountain lion. The runner said he heard something behind him, and as he turned around to look, the lion attacked him from behind, biting...
How Many Wild Animals Die Of Old Age?
Today we’re talking about the Warriors, coprophagy, Florida Man, business trips, and more. ...
Dunking, Autofellating Otter At Oregon Zoo Dies At 20
Eddie, a sea otter at the Oregon Zoo, died this morning, as reported by the Oregonian. He was 20, a remarkably old age for otters, which usually live to be around 15. His main pastimes were dunking a little ball into a hoop, and blowing himself....
Napoleon The Racing Corgi Crushes All Challengers, Is A Very Good Boy
Here is a true thing: Even the fastest corgi still looks like an absurd tubelike dog-snake hybrid. The Seattle Seahawks attempted to prove this with the 2018 Corgi Cup, which was held during halftime of Monday’s game. There were so many bread-shaped contenders that they had to hold two heats....
The Central Park Mandarin Duck Went Missing. I Tried To Find It.
NEW YORK — I can’t even get the binoculars to work....
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Little Cat Launching A Sneak Attack
Kittens are cute. So cute, in fact, that it can seem unimaginable they would be capable of hatching diabolical plots like stealing food off the counter, clawing your foot if the foot moves under a blanket, peeing repeatedly on your favorite rug, or fashioning itself into a cat cannonball and launchi...
Udonis Haslem Sues Animal Hospital For Denying Him His Rightful Dog Semen
Longtime Miami Heat big man Udonis Haslem—present tense, as Haslem is still on the active roster despite averaging less than a point per game in 14 appearances last year—is suing a Florida animal hospital and one of its doctors for castrating his prized show dog, thus denying the three-time NBA cham...
Horse Walks Into Bar, Fucks It Up
There you are, enjoying a nice beverage at a sports betting bar in France, when—bam, there’s a horse in the damn establishment and it’s wrecking all your shit....
Seal Slaps The Bejesus Out Of Kayaker With Live Octopus
There you are, in your boat, kayaking, in the water, in New Zealand or whatever. Here it comes, a seal! Or is it a sea lion? Does this matter? More on that later. What does it have in its—oh. It’s an octopus! What......
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Very Determined Rat At Wrigley Field
Wrigley Rat made his late-season case for NL MVP in Wednesday night’s game. Photographer Will Byington was filming as the tenacious, indefatigable little rodent tried repeatedly to make the leap from the fencing above the ivy to berm in center field....
Browns Fan Saves Possum From Having To Watch The Rest Of Thursday Night Football<em></em>
A poor, foolish possum somehow made its way into the stands at Thursday night’s Jets-Browns game, in Cleveland. Maybe he’s a big Baker Mayfield fan! It’s unlikely the little fellow had a valid ticket—as such, he was captured and put into a box by a jersey-clad gentleman who seems really admirably co...
The Darkest Form Of Basketball Is This Dead Whale Clanging Off A Dumpster
The wonderful state of New Hampshire—full disclosure: I grew up in New Hampshire—has made national news this week, as the world has been captivated by the Granite State’s inability to properly dispose of a dead minke whale that washed ashore at Jenness Beach in Rye Monday. Though a juvenile, the wha...
Disease-Carrying Vermin Still A Little Too On-The-Nose As Coincidental Mets-Adjacent Phenomenon
The Red Sox, healthy, secure, surging toward the best season in franchise history, played with the toy skeleton of a rat in their dugout Friday night, mounting it on the dugout wall and putting seeds in its little mouth. Ha ha! The Mets, helpless, sick, crawling along in ignominy toward the conclusi...
Philadelphia Union Introduce New Mascot, A Snake With Arms And Legs, Which Are Like The Most Important Things A Snake Doesn't Have
In their ninth MLS season, the Philadelphia Union finally (finally) have a mascot. It seems like mere days ago he was a giant egg at the Philadelphia Zoo, which at least indicated that he was not a mammal, or was at least a monotreme. Today, we all got the big news:...
Wily Fox Steals Golf Ball Right Off The Green
Golfers are used to having to contend with environmental hazards, from violent winds, to prehistoric swamp monsters, to fires spewed forth from the bowels of the earth. During one recent round in Massachusetts, golf aficionado Daniel Adams was confronted with the added challenge of a thieving fox. A...