animals Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is The World's Ugliest Dog<em></em>
The Sonoma-Marin Fair hosted its annual World’s Ugliest Dog Contest this past weekend, and no pooch could beat out Zsa Zsa for top honors. Zsa Zsa is a testament to the horrifying process of inbreeding that sapped the English bulldog gene pool of its diversity, but at least she got first prize! Here...
Hear Radamel Falcao's Goal Called In A Dozen Different Languages<em></em>
The passion is truly universal. ...
Kangaroo On The Field Is Great At Running, Atrocious At Kicking The Ball
This here kangaroo showed up to an Australian women’s Premier League match over the weekend and put together an impressive minute or so of tape. Our pal apparently wandered around the field for about 20 minutes, dozed off, hopped a few fences, and flashed some impressive top-level speed. However, hi...
Achilles The Psychic Cat Picks Russia To Win World Cup Match Because He Knows Where His Mice Are Buttered
Happy World Cup day! The real competition begins today. Not the soccer; the psychic animals....
Gator, Tied Up And Pissed Off, Owns The Hell Out Of His Asshole Captors
Do the best you can with what you have—it’s an old idiom, and one that is particularly useful when it comes to explaining the above image. It is also useful to note the pathetic foot at lower left. Here is how it came to pass....
Silly Baseball Goose Goes To Better Place
The silly goose that bonked itself to hell in Wednesday’s Angels-Tigers game has now supposedly been released into the scenic green wilderness of East Lansing, Michigan, after a brief stay at a veterinary hospital....
Loose Goose At Tigers Game Chased Off The Field And Into A World Of Pain
There was a cool-seeming goose hanging around the field in Detroit during a break in tonight’s Angels-Tigers game, and although the grounds crew made a valiant effort at getting it to scram, little did they know they were chasing the goose straight to his downfall, provided by the unrelenting scoreb...
What Grade-School Report Topic Were You Obsessed With, And Maybe Still Are?
Children are obsessive types. I knew more about dinosaurs as a 7-year-old than I will ever know about anything ever. But sometimes, an assignment latches onto our sponge-like little brains and never lets go....
One Mountain Biker Dead, Another Injured After Scariest Possible Cougar Attack
On Saturday, two men were mountain biking about 30 miles east of Seattle in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains when they encountered a cougar. Authorities say Isaac Sederbaum and S.J. Brooks did everything right: they dismounted their bikes, stood their ground, and yelled at the animal. After it...
Idiot Snake On The Field Pays Ultimate Price For Love Of Baseball
In the eighth inning of a San Antonio Missions Double-A game Friday night, a true baseball loving snake invaded the outfield and began making his way towards the infield, no doubt in search of the best possible view of the night’s action. Unfortunately, for his curiosity and enthusiasm for America’s...
Dinosaur-Sized Gator Enjoys Casual Stroll On The Golf Course With His Friends The Deer
It’s big boy season on Fripp Island, South Carolina. Even the local deer populace respects it....
Policeman Provokes Groundhog To Walk Into Road So He Can Shoot It Twice
The next time someone tells you Blue Lives Matter is a misguided, stupid slogan, show them this....
Florida Man Arrested For Practicing Karate By Kicking Swans In The Head
A Florida man interested in karate is alleged to have found an elusive and illegal target for his kicks: bird faces. Last week, the Orlando Sentinel reported that Rocco Joseph Mantella was arrested for “practicing karate” by kicking swans in the head at a park in downtown Orlando, and further detail...
PGA Tour Event Made Much Cooler By Crew Of Fun-Loving Gators
The Zurich Classic’s being played this weekend down in Louisiana, and the tournament features a few hundred golfers (okay) and approximately 20 alligators (great!). This little buddy was kind of interrupted by a Talor Gooch shot, and they tried to scare him off by throwing a rake towards him. He ate...
Don't Fuck With This Knife-Wielding Seal
Don’t litter; it arms the wildlife....
I Would Die For These Pigs That Look Like Sheep
A Palatine of Hungary crosses some boars and sows in some Austro-Hungarian barn. He creates a new breed of swine, the Mangalica pig. Upon seeing the result of his meddling with nature, the palatine claps his hands in delight—probably....
Enormous, Real-Life Bear Oversees Kickoff Of Russian Soccer Match
Mascots are a common sight at soccer matches. Traditionally, these take the form of cute little children who escort the players onto the pitch to start a match. Sometimes, as was the case before a game in Russia this weekend, the cute little children are swapped out in favor of a huge fucking bear:...
Watermelons, Cower In Fear At Your Mighty New Crocodile God
All hail the mighty Elvis, a 52-year-old crocodile in the Australian Reptile Park of Somersby, Australia, and my new God....