ant Page 496 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Listen To All Five U.S. Goals As Called By Telemundo's Andrés Cantor

While Fox’s J.P. Dellacamera did an adequate job calling today’s Women’s World Cup final, an even more legendary soccer broadcaster called the match elsewhere on U.S. television: Andrés ¡GOOOOOL! Cantor, on Telemundo. Since you were probably watching on Fox, we’ve compiled all five U.S. goals as air...

Jason Pierre-Paul Seriously Damaged Hand In Fireworks Accident [UPDATES]

Jason Pierre-Paul seriously injured his hand in a Saturday night fireworks accident, according to media reports. At least two people reported the Giants defensive end acquired an entire truck full of fireworks:...

Giants Attempt Bryce Harper Pickoff Using The Center Fielder

San Francisco attempted some clever trickery today when Bryce Harper had to rush back to second on a pickoff play that required Giants center fielder Gregor Blanco to rush in and cover second....

LaMarcus Aldridge Will Sign With The Spurs

LaMarcus Aldridge, this summer’s most coveted free agent, will sign a four-year, $80 million deal with the San Antonio Spurs, reports Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski. ...

Korean Baseball Player Makes His Bat Flip Count

For Hwang Jae-gyun’s 21st home run, he held his bat out for a good four seconds before finally flipping it and trotting the bases. The Lotte Giants third baseman made sure the ball was fair so as to not squander such an excellent bat flip....

Put Peas In Your Guacamole If You Want To

Once upon a time, sure as you are born, some dingus was all, “Onions?!?! In your guacamole?!?! You motherfuckers!”...

Tennis Player CoCo Vandeweghe Thinks Carmelo Anthony Is Soft As Hell

I have no idea why pro tennis player CoCo Vandeweghe was asked for her opinion on Carmelo Anthony and the Knicks, other than the fact that her uncle is former NBA player and GM Kiki Vandeweghe, but I sure am glad it happened. ...

Good Meme, Kobe

DeMarre Carroll Leaves Atlanta For Toronto, Is Getting Paid

DeMarre Carroll has joined Pero Antic as the second former Atlanta Hawk to elect to play on foreign soil for the upcoming season....

The Spurs Are Reloading

We’re just a few hours into the NBA free-agency period, and the San Antonio Spurs—the team that spends most offseasons chilling, drinking wine, and then eventually scooping up scrap-heap free agents who will later win them a playoff game—are making some goddamn moves....

Anthony Davis Agrees To NBA's Richest Deal

At midnight last night, NBA teams were allowed to begin negotiations with their players. One minute after that, the Pelicans and Anthony Davis agreed to a max extension that could keep the 22-year-old star center in New Orleans through 2021. One minute after that, Davis announced the news:...

This Jim Carrey Tweet Is The Best-Ever Tweet

Damn....

Jon Stewart: Scalia Used The Old Man Dictionary To Write His Dissent

Last Friday, the Supreme Court ruled to recognize same-sex marriages nationwide, much to the delight of a whole lot of people. Except of course, resident crank Justice Antonin Scalia, who wrote a dissent that, from most reasonable folks’ perspective, sounded like nonsense....

Cats: They're Bad

You walk into a cat house and you know it right away: A crazy person lives here. No amount of vacuuming, air-freshening, laundering, or outright bleaching will banish the insidious juniper reek of feline; a cat house smells like a cat house, and for this we can be grateful, because it lets us know n...

Cyclist Fight!

This happened just beyond the finish line at this weekend’s Longsjo Classic. Based on the bib numbers, the guy throwing the punches is named Jerome Townsend, and the dude getting popped is named Dave Warner....

Kobe Bryant Unbothered By His New Teammate Calling Him A Rapist

There was a mild kerfuffle following last week’s NBA draft, when some internet sleuth went spelunking into the Twitter history of Lakers draft pick Larry Nance Jr. and found this old tweet:...

Giancarlo Stanton Reportedly Has Broken Bone In Hand; Everything Sucks

Giancarlo Stanton has been crushing baseballs all season long, smacking out an MLB-leading 27 homers and driving in an MLB-leading 67 runs. So you can understand everyone’s trepidation when he announced some sort of hand injury suffered during yesterday’s game against the Dodgers. And it looks like ...

This Is What Old Navy Thinks Bloggers Wear

Good news, everyone: Old Navy has launched a line that caters to blogging scum so you don’t have to deal with any pesky browsing to get the latest... writer fashion. Blogger looks, baby!...

Hawks Unveil New Neon Uniforms

It didn’t have to be this way. The Atlanta Hawks could have designed nice, normal uniforms, like other teams get to have. They could have avoided aiming for “retro-futuristic” and missing so badly they ended up with “textured alarm clock.”...

Giancarlo Stanton Hits Baseball Through All Dimensions, Shattering Each

Giancarlo Stanton continues smacking baseballs higher and further than us humans deserve. My only reaction to this latest bomb, Stanton’s 26th of the season, is perhaps the highest compliment one man can pay another: It moved....