ant Page 497 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kobe's Sad Farewell Tour Can Turn Even Haters Into Pitying Fans
Nike released a new video to commemorate the imminent burial of basketball corpse Kobe Bryant, digging deeper into their branding strategy that casts him as both hero and villain, because dualities are extremely profound. So from a slew of athletes we hear both bland admiration and what at times fee...
Braves' Daniel Winkler Fractures His Elbow While Throwing A Pitch
Atlanta Braves reliever Daniel Winkler fractured his elbow during Sunday’s game against the Cardinals. The video doesn’t show any graphic detail. All you see is a man who knows something is definitely wrong with his arm....
Warriors Tie The NBA Mark For Wins, Screw Spurs Out Of The League's Home Wins Record
The Golden State Warriors pulled off a fantastic triple tonight with their 92-86 win over the Spurs. They won straight-up as the greatest 3.5-point underdogs the league may ever see. They handed their fiercest rival the only home loss of the season, denying San Antonio a chance to top the ’85-’86 Ce...
Puke Eating & Butt-Hat Licking: Yesterday In Disgusting Baseball Fan Behavior
This MLB season is not even a week old, yet fans are already resorting to the kind of boredom-reducing insane behavior we usually see in late September. Two separate incidents in Detroit and Milwaukee will, if you continue reading any further, probably ruin your appetite for the day. You’ve been war...
IDK NOT TRUMP THO
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NASCAR Invocation Features Prayer To Elect A Republican President
Unapologetic bigot Phil Robertson delivered the invocation before tonight’s NASCAR race in Texas, and it didn’t disappoint—if you were looking forward to the duck call industrialist to pray for “A Jesus man” to be elected president in November....
Madison Bumgarner Remains Unimpressed By Clayton Kershaw
It’s been clear for a while that the San Francisco Giants have something on their hands with Madison Bumgarner. The promising native of Hickory, N.C. hit for a .470 slugging percentage in limited action two years ago at age 24, and followed on with a .468 mark last season, the highlight of the year ...
Look At This Rookie Pitcher's Nutso Windup
Braves rookie John Gant, a 23-year-old relief pitcher, made his major league debut in the ninth inning of last night’s game against the Nationals. Why is this something worth mentioning? Because get a load of how this dude pitches:...
Have Another Kobe Bryant Lowlight, Because We're Running Out Of Time
The Los Angeles Lakers only have four games left to play, which means we are nearly out of chances to watch old man Kobe Bryant creak his way through some extremely funny and embarrassing possessions. He gave us one last night, though, so let’s hold onto it. It could be the last one we ever see:...
No Losing Team Is As Fun Or As Intriguing As The Timberwolves
It would be an overreaction to last night’s overtime victory over the Warriors to proclaim that it heralds the Timberwolves’ arrival. It was just one game, after all, and the team is still just 26-52, the fifth-worst record in the NBA. It also remains to be seen how they deal with the organizational...
What Is The Best Non-Meat Sandwich Filling?
We had sandwiches for lunch at the office today, and they were all really delicious, except for the vegetarian options, which were frankly kind of weak and unsatisfying. Which got us to thinking—briefly—how to best construct a sandwich without meat....
Giancarlo Stanton Sent This Justin Verlander Pitch To Goddamn Mars
Justin Verlander didn’t allow a hit through five innings to the Miami Marlins this evening, but once Miami woke up (presumably because Barry Bonds dispensed a few pieces of sage wisdom), they really started hitting the dogpiss out of the ball. ...
Of Course Adam Schefter Bought Into Greg Hardy's Bullshit
By now you know that Greg Hardy sat down for a VERY SERIOUS conversation with ESPN this week and turded up the joint the way only Greg Hardy can. He denied any wrongdoing, insinuated that these pictures could have been manipulated, and tossed in an empty Bible shout-out for good measure. Keep in min...
Jim Nantz, A Tremendous Weirdo, Gave His Tie To Ryan Arcidiacono
Imagine you are Villanova guard Ryan Arcidiacono, a senior who just helped your team win one of the greatest championship games in NCAA history. You’re sweaty, you’re euphoric, and you’re covered in confetti. You want to scream and hug your teammates and find your family. You turn toward the crowd, ...
The Giants' Procession To The 2016 World Series Started With Back-To-Back-To-Back Dingers
It’s an even year, so the San Francisco Giants will win the 2016 World Series. Thank you to all the other teams for participating. Maybe next year! But not the one after that (we’re unclear what happens in 2020)....
No Canadian NHL Teams Made The Stanley Cup Playoffs This Year, Woe Be Unto The North
Been to Canada lately? Everything’s marked down. Five years ago, the loonie was at historic highs against the greenback. Lately the Canadian dollar will get you about 77 American pennies, a partial result of Canada having yoked its economy to crude oil, which in 2014 went off a frickin’ cliff. Every...
Celebrity Fight Referee: D’Angelo Russell and Nick Young Race to the Bottom
Sports are cool but I was not trained in the art of figuring out if one enormous man hit another enormous man in the right or wrong way. I do, however, have years of experience dissecting the wack-ass behavior of celebrities....
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Hockey Fans Cannot Stop Themselves From Throwing Thousands of Plastic Rats on the Ice
It’s an incontrovertible rule of nature that if you give a hockey fan something, they will throw it, as far and violently as possible: beer bottles, pretzel chunks, their own teeth, engagement rings, Lindbergh baby, doesn’t matter. Anyway, somebody gave an arena full of hockey fans some rats....