ant Page 720 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
More Fun With The G-Man
We have no inherent dislike of Bryant Gumbel, but sometimes we think there's some sort of slow gas leak in his home. Greg Gumbel's wacky brother has really done it this time, angering his NFL overlords (he was hired to do play-by-play on eight NFL Network games this season) when he made a rude com...
A Warning To The Women Of San Antonio
This comes our way from Media Take Out, and there's probably no real reason to believe that it's true, but it's a hell of a story nonetheless. A woman claims that she met former New York Knick and current San Antonio Spur Jackie Butler at the 40/40 Club in New York a few months ago....
Fortunately, It's A Slow Time Of The Year For Fantasy Football
For the second consecutive year, ESPN is having serious problems with its fantasy games. The above message, which anyone who tries to get in the fantasy game gets right now, has, obviously, perfect timing: If there's one time of the year when people aren't thinking about fantasy football, it's total...
NFL Season Preview: New York Giants
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of painting their...
Chris Cooley's Pyrrhic Victory
The good news for Redskins TE Chris Cooley in last years game against Dallas is that he busted loose for three touchdowns in a 35-7 victory. The bad news was that in one of Cooley's four fantasy leagues, as noted here in the Washington Post, his fantasy opponent started Cooley against him. Cooley's ...
Team USA Rolls Lithuania
After a narrow 90-86 escape over Brazil, Team USA got back into their winning habits, cruising to a 111-88 win over Lithuania. Seven USA players scored in double-digits: Caremlo Anthony, Dwyane Wade, Joe Johnson, Kirk Hinrich, Antawn Jamison, and Chris Paul. Lithuanian center Ksistof Lavrinovicius d...
The Fourth Pick In The Fantasy Football Draft
There's a poor bastard in your fantasy football league that had to, or is going to have to, make the 4th overall selection in the draft. Larry Johnson, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Shaun Alexander are likely to be off the board, leaving this poor schmuck screwed. I can't remember there ever being a wo...
Keith Hamilton Swings A Mean Surge Protector
Former Giants defensive tackle Keith Hamilton believes in an odd method of disciplining his children. Some parents will go for the "time-out," some will go for a routine spanking, some might make you put a quarter in a jar every time you swear. But if you're Keith Hamilton's kid, and you come home w...
USA Basketball Barely Escapes (And We Don't Mean "From China")
We don't mean to ruin it for those of you who had your Brazilian Tivos all set up, but USA Basketball just had its first serious scare in preparation for the World Championships, edging Brazil 90-86. The Americans led by 14 at halftime, but Brazil — led by the immortal Tiago Splitter — closed it lat...
Joe Torre, Back When He Had To Work A Little Bit
Even among people who hate the Yankees, there is a grudging respect for manager Joe Torre, who exemplifies class, stoicism and wisdom in a game that many consider often lacking in all three....
Wanted: One Huge NY Giants Fan
If you're looking to score a sweet New York Giants season ticket, take a look at this from Craig's List, and act fast. Only one catch: You must wear a sumo wrestler-style fat suit for each game. It seems that the "Fat Suit Fans" are down one member and are looking for a replacement. Other caveats in...
Jeremy Shockey Would Like To Set The Record Straight
Jeremy Shockey just wants you to know that he won't be letting up this season ... he plans to party as hard as he did in 2005. Man, where would we be without Shockey? With Terrell Owens minding his manners in Dallas and Marcus Vick having not brandished a weapon in months, we are truly blessed that ...
Ixnay On The Ambling-Gay!
This week's winner of the Asshole Who Ruins Everything For Everyone award goes to Charles Humphrey....
The Closer: Mr. Met Administers Coup De Grace
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Not Shaq And Kobe AGAIN?
The Christmas Day NBA doubleheader is the unofficial kickoff of the NBA season; it's typically the first nationally televised network game, the league's highest-profile moment, its chance to shine....
How To Ruin Fantasy Football
It is just us, or is everyone pumping fantasy football a couple of weeks too early this year? Both Sports Illustrated and ESPN: The Magazine have already come out with their fantasy season previews — SI's included a cover photo of a guy who might not actually play for his team next year — even thoug...
Cultural Oddsmaker: Insane in the Membrane
A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Send him all kinds of email....
"Indictment? What Indictment? Let's JAM!"
As it becomes clear that Barry Bonds will indeed not be indicted today, with the possibility it could still happen hanging out there, we can look forward to a few more weeks of will-he or won't-he? The parlor game often distracts from the real story, and the real story, we can proudly say, was Bonds...
Ladies And Gentlemen, Meet Lucious Pusey
The Realests are going bonkers this morning over their latest discovery, but we have to say that we do not find this funny at all. What is so hilarious, after all, about a college football player named Lucious Pusey? (Roman guard begins to giggle). Centurion, why do they titter so? Just because I ...
Please Don't Make Us Lonely In July
Forgive this trifle of self-indulgence, but after our brutal sojourn at Busch Stadium is completed, we're heading back toward our home plains of Illinois. Anybody out there fortunate enough to be so near miles of corn is invited to join us....