ant Page 720 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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Finally, Kobe Bryant Accomplishes Something
By scoring 41 points last night, Bryant became the youngest player ever to reach 24,000 points. The commenter who best incorporates this into an anal sex joke gets a +1 or whatever is behind Door No. 3. [USA Today]...
Say What? Our Long, National Nightmare About A Major League Pitcher's Weed Possession Charge Is Already Over?
The attorney for Tim Lincecum has negotiated a settlement with prosecutors to settle the pitcher's marijuana misdemeanor charge by having Lincecum pay a $250 fine for possession of a pipe. The possession of marijuana charge will be dropped. Come again?...
Cornell Business School: Home Of All Sorts Of Savory Juices
Yes, this has nothing to do with sports whatsoever. This is just completely embarrassing and awful and you won't be able to stop reading it: You're my hero!!!! My knight in shining armor!!! My private porn star!!!!! [GuestOfAGuest via Gawker]...
Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever
Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming. Was it the shaggy hair? The vacant smile? Or the 3.3 grams of marijuana found in the reigning Cy Young Award winner's Mercedes? [The Columbian]...
Isiah Thomas Continues His Formula For Success
Florida International begins its march to the upper echelon of D-I basketball by playing its first exhibition game under their new head coach....and losing to an NAIA school coached by Rollie Massimino. Exactly as planned. [AP/SB/RTC]...
Stay Away From Manu Ginobili's Fangs For Awhile
The Spurs guard had to get rabies shots after taking down a vicious bat with his bare hands. So if you see him foaming at the mouth, he's definitely not infected with a horrible disease! [SA Express-News]...
The Terrifying Horrors Of Sports-O-Ween
We've tallied the results and as suspected....your Halloween costumes kind of stunk. Don't sweat it though. At least you weren't burned alive for going to a Scottish soccer match dressed as a sheep....
Argentina Tops Transylvania In Batsketball
Manu Ginobili's line: 13 points, three assists, one rebound, and one dead bat. You have to watch this one....
The NCAA Won't Be Lied To (Or, Why To Avoid Deion Sanders)
Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Byrant has been suspended for an entire year, not for breaking rules, but for lying about not breaking rules. Because misleading an NCAA investigator is the worst crime a human can commit....
Antoine Walker Did Not Manage His Money Well
In 12 years, Antoine Walker made roughly 55 million NBA dollars (after taxes, but not counting endorsement deals.) Yet, he has over $4 million in unpaid debts and faces felony check fraud charges. How the hell did that happen?...
Is It Time For The "Is Hockey Too Violent" Debate Already? (UPDATE)
In a sport where players and fans prize bonecrushing hits, everyone pretends to be surprised when one of those hits sends someone to the hospital. Let the hand wringing commence....
Sports Fella's Fantasy: A Scrappy Little Web Site That Competes With The Likes Of, Say, ESPN
Bill Simmons muses: "Part of me can't shake the temptation of being the underdog again — like, launching my own sports site, hiring some talented writers and designers and trying to compete with the big guns." [Huffington Post]...
Who's The Boss? Bon Jovi And Springsteen Vie For NJ's Heart
With news that Bon Jovi are set to play the first concert at the new Meadowlands Stadium, we're forced to ask: where's Bruce?...
ESPN Horndog Dossier: The Glossary And Denouement (JED DRAKE UPDATE)
We'll end this scandal-ridden ride on the back of the scorpion with a more general story about the behavior many ESPN employees past and present engage in as part of the "travel" crew. And where's there's road, there is beef....
ESPN Horndog Dossier: Kate Lacey
Who? Exactly. Lacey, SVP of Marketing for ESPN, was a popular subject in our tips box dating back to last year. Why? Why do people despise this woman so much?...
ESPN Horndog Dossier: Erik Kuselias (UPDATED)
Who? Right. Exactly. But Mr. Kuselias, as tiny an orb as he may be in the ESPN galaxy, has solidified his reputation as "the biggest douchebag in the place," according to multiple sources. But what about that sex-harassment thing?...
ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Sexual Depravity
On September 9, we received a tip. Subject: "S. Phillips." The contents? "Rumor winding it's way around the hallowed halls of the WWL is that Steve Phillips is getting canned tomorrow for an offense on par with Harold Reynold's misdeed."...
Jim Nantz' Divorce Trial Gets Its Own Sad Play-By-Play
CBS's omnipresent talking guy Jim Nantz is divorcing his wife of 26 years. This is not at all scandalous or shocking, yet the local newspaper provided us all with a depressing blow-by-blow that just might break your heart....
Nightmare Ant Will Have His Revenge On DUAN
Gah! Run for your lives! The Thing That Should Not Be has returned to continue his reign of terror. And he looks hungry....