ap Page 1749 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Come To Steve Smith's Football Camp For Kids — Where You Can Learn To Injure A Star
The Panthers WR broke his arm while horsing around at his football camp. No, it wasn't on this high-five, but it was almost as embarrassing....

Last Night's Winner: The Phillies Fan Who Fell Down The Stairs
In sports everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like the poor guy in the blue shirt who ungracefully bought it during the 5th-inning of yesterday's Phillies-Twins game. He gets four gold stars, a blue ribbon and a platinum trophy....

World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Japan
These teams have their work cut out for them if they're going to give us as exciting a game as any of the ones we had yesterday. Order a hash brownie California Roll and comment below....

Los Angelenos Search For Championship Trophy Under Burning Cars
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Incompetent Old People Hilariously Debate Merits Of MMA Fights
The State of New York will close for business next week unless its comically inept legislature can pass a balanced budget. (It was due April 1.) Instead, they decided to spend the day arguing about MMA....with predictably zany results....

Utah Joins Pac-10; Spacetime Folds In On Itself
TERROR! SCHOOL IN AMERICAN SOUTHWEST THAT USED TO PLAY SPORTS AGAINST SMALL SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES WILL NOW PLAY SPORTS AGAINST LARGE SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES! [Salt Lake Tribune]...

Albert Haynesworth Continues To Out-Haynesworth Himself
It seems that the NFL's most well-paid defensive lineman finds playing defensive lineman to be an unreasonable job requirement and wants to be traded—even though his stupidly gargantuan contract makes that impossible....

Celtics-Lakers Has Competitive Greatness Coming Out The Ass
Quietly, perhaps in a brief moment when floppy Derek Fisher wasn't butoh dancing for the refs, Celtics-Lakers became everything anyone could want in a basketball series....

Touchdown Jesus Statue Destroyed By Act Of God (UPDATE WITH VIDEO)
Via the Cincinnati Enquirer: "Lightning struck and ignited a fire late Monday that destroyed a 62-foot-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms stretched toward the skies." He'll be back, I'm sure. UPDATE: Watch Him burn! Video below....

Japan Wins Eighth Consecutive World Cup Costume Contest
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

World Cup Open Thread: Japan-Cameroon
Japan's captain Makoto Hasebe is reportedly fully healed from a back injury, but can he lead Samurai Blue past Internazionale badass Samuel Eto'o and the rest of the Indomitable Lions? Should be a sizzler, so comment below....

Private Stache: Brawling In The Stands At The 1986 World Cup
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Philadelphia's Pukemon Photographed In The Wild
...from my girlfriend's boss in Bethlehem, PA of the puking Philly fan (in blue)…It was sent via his phone this morning at the Hampton Hotel…Looks like he starts pre-gaming pretty early…especially considering the Phils are in Boston tonight. — Brian W....

World Cup Open Thread: Uruguay-France
Uruguay and France meet on the pitch to finally settle which is the best way to dispose of dissidents in times of political upheaval: desaparecidos or le guillotine. Unrelated two cents: Desaparecidos was a badass band....

Ever Wondered What Managers Are Saying When They Go Apeshit On The Ump?
This is old. Like, 3 years ago old. But as a deleted scene from the Playing For Peanuts documentary, this is the first time Wally Backman's tirade, performed while wearing a microphone, has seen the light of day. And it is superb....

Philadelphia's Drunk Children Continue To Be Photographed In Natural Habitat
Last month, another child was photographed knocking back a Coors Light in clear view of what we assume is an ambivalent Citizen Bank Park fan base. Release the tasers, before these tot-sots can spell a-z-z-h-o-l-e. [The Fightins]...

Golden Tate's Dramatic 911 Donut Call: "They're Drunk And Being Retarded"
Listen in as an exasperated donut maker asks police to save her from two buffoons who stole her donuts and her keys. Also: an NFL wideout with "average" build who is "maybe 5'9"? Maybe he needs more than donuts....

Angry, Fan-Punching Mexican Wrestler Of The Week: This Guy
A luchadore's mask is very important. You can understand why La Parka punched this fan who tried to unmask him. After the fight, La Parka returned to his ancestral home: the cover of that one Offspring album. H/T The Masked Man....

Last Night's Winner: Danny Ferry
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like former Cleveland GM Danny Ferry, who despite his new unemployment, should feel a great weight lifted. Why? LeBron James: Not his problem anymore....
