ap Page 1753 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
And Now, The Taser Video You've All Been Waiting For
Ah, baseball. The crack of the bat. The feel of the grass. The smell of burning hair, as 1200 volts of electricity course through a 17-year-old's nervous system....
Real Deer Burst Into Wisconsin Bar During Bucks Game, Prove Unworthy Of Anyone's Fear
Shortly after the start of the Bucks' eventual Game 7 loss to the Atlanta Hawks, two genuine Wisconsin deer burst through the glass doors of the Stout Ale House restaurant in Menomonie, where patrons were watching the game. Video inside....
Derby Day Video Recap: A Mad Dash Across Porta-Potty Rooftops, Mudwrestling, And Bad Techno (NSFW)
This year, the drizzly weather made the usual activities along the Churchill Downs infield (portalet runs, women sunning themselves in bikinis) that much more dangerous (slippery portalet runs) and sleazy (women mudwrestling in bikinis). Here's everything you missed....
Things That Are Not Yet Banned By NFL.com: Pittsburgh #7 Jerseys With "Therapist" On The Back
It's the perfect gift for both Browns fans and Jezebel readers this Arbor Day. Plus, it's fun to say in your best Darrell Hammond-does-Sean Connery voice. [PhillyBlunt]...
Private Stache: A New Feature In Which We Revisit The Unintentionally Hilarious Sports Photography Of Yore
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
Last Night's Winner: The Emergence Of George Hill (As A Professional Basketball Player)
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Spurs' point guard George Hill, who helped the rickety San Antonio Spurs topple the Dallas Mavericks in six ref-marred games....
Mindy McCready's Forbidden, Goofy Love For Roger Clemens
Her lawyers say she was too whacked out to realize she signed-off on "Baseball Mistress (NSFW)", but, nonetheless, I still find her woozy interview about her puppy love with Roger Clemens mesmerizing....
The Bitch Slap Heard 'Round The Bleachers
When they're not humping each other in bathrooms or throwing beer or being sorta racist, the denizens of Wrigley Field are apparently slapping each other in the face. Except they're being sorta racist then, too....
Last Night's Winner: LeElbow
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the hinge joint in LeBron James's right arm, which exploded into a thousand pieces yesterday, filling the Cleveland sky with bright constellations of bone dust and shard....
Athlete Wives Are Just Regular Gals, <em>Washington Post</em> Keeps Reporting
The Post gives the wives of the Capitals the same incisive treatment it gave the wives of the Nationals last year. Noted: "They're striking, yes! But, in a regular kind of way." [Washington Post]...
The Marquis Teague Scholarship-Revocation-Countdown Begins Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
Introducing The Sports Phella, Phil Simmons
Bill Simmons was nice enough to Tweet-lert everyone of ABCNews.com's captioning gaffe but we all know it was just to prove he gets invited to parties/smokes up with Ricky Williams. Click 'n' embiggen. [@sportsguy33]...
Bango The Buck's Encore: Battery And Harassment
Bango — drunk with power after surviving last night's dunk — is now harassing Wisconsin's small coterie of Atlanta Hawks fans. Enjoy the dulcet tones of P.O.D. and — I hope — the use of a single Al Horford jersey. H/T Jon....
Last Night's Winner: People Who Question Dwight Howard's Manhood
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the folks who mistake human beings for sled dogs and accuse Dwight Howard of not being alpha enough....
Bango The Mascot Ascends Ladder As Deer, Descends As Deer-Man
Bango, the Bucks' mascot, is one of the best performers in the mascot ranks. Last night he proved it. During the biggest game of the year, Bango flipped off a ladder, dunked, and somehow managed not to die. [Vegas Plays]...
Vomiting Phillies Fan's Uncle Would Like Us To Do...Something
Ever since we've started covering the story of Matthew Clemmens, best known for allegedly vomiting on an 11-year old girl, and rocking "Material Girl" at karaoke, his uncle has been pestering us about...well, we're not really sure what he wants....
Dumb Honky Apologizes For That "Dirty Mexicans" Stuff (UPDATE)
Earlier, we mentioned former reliever Mike Bacsik's Twitter meltdown, in which he congratulated the "dirty mexicans" of San Antonio on the Spurs' victory yesterday. Here's the apology. Can u forgive him? UPDATE: Bacsik apologizes to his radio station and Jesus, too....
Apple Thinks This Tiger Woods Cartoon Is Too Mean For Your iPhone
Cartoonist Daryl Cagle says Apple rejected his Tiger Woods editorial cartoons app on the grounds that it "ridicules" a public figure, which seems like an awfully strong stance against something that amounts to a Leno monologue in pen and ink....
Caps' Player Removes Own Tooth
After catching a stick in the maw during Friday's game against the Habs, Eric Belanger performed a little self-dentistry. He then entered into a gentleman's agreement with Kevin Kennedy to divvy up our girlfriends....
Old People: Still Not Listenin'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...