art Page 294 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Drugs In Europe Must Be Great
Okay, I've been to Amsterdam. I smoked some nice pot there. They try to get you to put all this tobacco in it, but whatevs, it's good. But nothing that would make me conceive, or even understand, the opening ceremonies of EURO 2008 yesterday. This Fanhouse-provided clip is like a Bjork/Michel Gondry...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hoping there's not a twist at the end of this one......

Joe Montana And Matt Leinart, BFF, Or Something
It has been amusing, as we flip through the NFL season preview mags we keep buying — are they always out this early? — is that every single one of them mentions Matt Leinart's fun-loving beer bonging. As we said from the get-go, the reason those pictures took off was because they fit into an existin...

The Joy And Despair Of Two New York Pitching Debuts
So as we check in this morning on the great city and state of New York, we see much wailing and gnashing of teeth over the daring Joba-Chamberlain-as-a-starter experiment (he flew too close to the sun on mashed potato wings), and great rejoicing over the return of Pedro Martinez. Joba lasted just 2...

David Dong Han To Become A Bright Shining Star
The man in this photo who is not Chargers linebacker/performance enhancer Shawne Merriman is a happy young man named David Dong Han. According to DC Sports Bog, Han attended Santana Moss' birthday party and then, unexpectedly, got his Goose on with what appears to be half the league....

Ron Artest Is Taking This Journalism Business Quite Seriously
There are many adjectives you can use to describe Ron Artest, but a couple more you want to add to that list are "fair and balanced."...

Kansas City Gripped By Quincy Carter Fever
He's not exactly back in the NFL, but the Kansas City Brigade of the Arena Football League is a start. And believe it or not, that's a step up for the former Dallas Cowboys quartertback Quincy Carter, who was last seen playing for the Bossier-Shreveport BattleWings of the af2. After joining the Brig...

Jimmy Rollins Is Recognizable
The Gray Lady has an amusing piece today limning a day in the life of the slavering subhuman horde that is the habitual autograph hound. The column tags them as "Sharpie-wielding stalkers," which might be a terrible slight to stalkers everywhere. I mean, at least most stalkers know who they're purs...

Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...

Gary Carter Wonders If He Should Let The Mets Know He Wants To Manage Them
Willie Randolph could very well be Art Howe-ing his way out of a job in New York, but what's kind of important is the fact that he still has employment with the Mets. That hasn't stopped Gary Carter, who's currently managing an independent minor league team in California, to start inquiring about wh...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Dazed And Confused
Oh, the carnage (covers eyes). Well that's it, there are no more indignities left. Following Tuesday's games, New York has seen them all. The Mets dropped a doubleheader to the Braves, featuring Ryan Church's attempt to break up a double play at second (Fail). Meanwhile, the Yankees lost to the Orio...

Could This Be The End For Our Pedro?
First off, all of you Mets fans who are saying "Pedro who?", just stop it. Pedro Martinez, who is on the verge of returning to New York's starting rotation, says that this season might well be his last. And you don't know it now, but you'll miss him when he's gone. Yes, you will....

Jayhawks Believe They're In the Clear
Darrell Arthur probably shouldn't have been eligible to play for Kansas, but the school's Athletic Director doesn't seem to be too concerned with any ramifications. Jim Marchiony told the Witchita Eagle that he "can't see this affecting Kansas or Darrell Arthur," because the player's high school tr...

Jeopardy! Attempts To Both Humanize And Humiliate Matt Leinart
This question was featured last week as part of Jeopardy!'s "College Championship" week. Does this mean that the photo of Matt Leinart beer-bonging his way to infamy has reached a certain level of news relevancy?...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering if the new statue at Staples Center will sport fishnets... • Oscar de la Hoya vs. Steve Forbes. Check back in later tonight. [HBO] • The Detroit Pistons host the Orlando Magic in the first game of the NBA Playoff's second round. The first round should be wrapping up any...

Inside the Infield at Churchill Downs
Just because you don't really give a crap about horse racing doesn't mean you shouldn't be enjoying yourself like the happy-go-lucky types at the OTB. The Kentucky Derby is really just one huge ass party divided in two parts. The rich guys and southern belles cougars wear their most ridiculously ex...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

1st Round, Sixteenth Overall: Buzzsaw Selects Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie
You better adjust the tracking on your VCR if you want to watch game tape of Rodgers-Cromartie. Tennessee State games are taped using the surveillance cameras at the Stop & Rob across the street. "The tape is not real clear. You have to find him. This reminds me of an older time in scouting," accor...

Isiah Thomas Pretty Much Got A Promotion
The disinterest Isiah Thomas showed in his last days as coach of the New York Knicks was palpable, and pretty much understood by all parties. But remember: He's not being fired by the Knicks. He's just taking a different job with the team so that $18 million still left on his contract can be collect...