as Page 1650 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How Do I Clean Up All These Pine Needles?

Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....

Dogs And Cats Love Wrapping Paper So Damn Much

As Christmas presents are opened, pets receive the unintentional gift of mounds of wrapping paper left on the floor. Many dogs and cats fucking adore wrapping paper. They'll tear it apart, run through it, or just sit on it, for some weird reason. This is definitely not sports-related....

NBA's Christmas Uniforms Are Ugly As Sin

Last month, we saw the leaked NBA uniforms for Christmas Day—with sleeves? Sleeves?—and thought, hey, maybe they just seem bad because no one's actually wearing them. Perhaps they'll look better in action, on actual players. Nah. They look like generic unis for a movie set in the future designed to ...

Christmas Bosh

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

As in past years, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. [Note: Headline has ...

[UPDATE: Bullshit] Santa And His Helper Crash Sleigh, Could Face Drunk-Driving Charges

Update (10:05 a.m. June 12, 2015): BuzzFeed has a good story about how this report was total bullshit. The original post is below....

MLB Teams Will Soon Bid On The Latest Touted Japanese Pitcher

It's happening. Masahiro Tanaka, the right-handed pitching sensation from Japan, will be starting an MLB career after being posted by the Rakuten Golden Eagles. The only question is, which team?...

Didier Drogba Interviewing Little Kids Will Warm Your Cold, Black Heart

Christmas is here, apparently. We, however, are at work, blogging away, and as such, we were a bit ambivalent about the holiday, and the holiday season as a whole. But then we saw this video of Galatasaray and Ivory Coast superstar Didier Drogba making the days of a roomful of little Turkish childre...

D.C. Santa Claus Shot With Pellet Gun In Front Of TV Crew

Here's some horrible footage from Washington, D.C. station WJLA. The ABC affiliate was covering a toy giveaway in the southeast side of the city when somebody shot Santa Claus in the back. ...

The Texans Have The Saddest Christmas Tree In The NFL (Naturally)

The Wall Street Journal assigned eight members of its sports staff to judge photos of 29 of 32 NFL teams' Christmas trees. Because the universe bends toward order, the Texans have the very worst. ...

College Hockey Player And Coach Suspended For Not Filling Out Form

Here's a heartwarming story for the holiday season about a college hockey coach who did the right thing, a player who did nothing wrong, and the insipid bureaucracy that suspended them both, apparently just for the hell of it....

LeBron Claims Another Victim With Filthy Dunk, Keys Heat Comeback

LeBron James is on a rampage. Just three days after destroying Ben McLemore with a dunk that also melted Chris Andersen's brain, James sent Paul Milsap to the grave with a ferocious slam late in the fourth quarter of last night's Hawks-Heat game....

Rafael Palmeiro Was The Ideal Steroids Scapegoat

Rafael Palmeiro was going to stroll into the Hall of Fame. It's sort of unbelievable to remember this fact, as we try to gaze back over the ruptured fault line between the Steroids Era and the Steroids Recriminations Era. There wasn't really anything to argue about, back then. He was in....

Report: Tony Romo Out For The Season

With a victory against Philadelphia next Sunday, the Cowboys are in the playoffs, but Tony Romo won't get the chance to help his team win or lose or whatever it is Romo does. According to Adam Schefter, he's out for the rest of the season with a back injury....

This Memphis Fast Break Looks Like Something I Did In A Video Game Once

On Saturday, the Memphis Tigers played the Southeast Missouri State Redhawks in a meh game no one really cared about. But in said meh game, this ridiculous fast break happened, which if not the best play of the year so far, has to be the most fun....

The Best Version Of Every Important Christmas Song

NOTE: There are no country music versions on this list, because country music is terrible....

A Christmas Carol For White Sox Fans

Christmas Carols always bring to mind an old family friend who passed away a few years ago. Sam was a long-suffering Cubs fan—is there any other kind?—who used to sing a variation of "Adeste Fideles" that paid tribute to the Go-Go White Sox. ...

These Guys Sucked In The Playoffs. Should That Matter To HOF Voters?

Having acquired a Hall of Fame ballot, which we'll be filling out in accordance with the wishes of our readers, we're examining the merits—and relative lack of merits—of all 36 players on this year's ballot for the purposes of better informing the electorate, i.e., you. All entries in the series can...

Deadspin Loses One Hall Of Fame Vote, But Gains Another

Recently, as you know, we announced that we had purchased a Hall of Fame ballot from a veteran baseball writer, with the intention of turning it over to Deadspin readers. The idea was to give a bit of power to ordinary baseball fans, and to draw attention to the increasing absurdity of the Hall of F...

The Chicago Blackhawks Made The Weirdest Holiday Video

We've seen plenty of cringe-inducing holiday videos in which athletes are forced to sing Christmas carols and wear funny Santa hats, but we've never seen one like this. For some reason, the Chicago Blackhawks decided to make their holiday video movie-themed.Why is this happening? What do any of thes...