as Page 2183 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Carlos Zambrano Mows Your Hitters Down
A game that was merely a whisper this morning has turned into a primal scream from the massive Cubs ace, Carlos Zambrano. Awash in a sea of Cubs blue at Miller Park in Milwaukee, Zambrano roared back tonight from a forced vacation due to rotator cuff soreness and an August well under his best to sec...

Surprise, Surprise: Terrell Owens is Once Again Acting Childish
The 2004 season in which Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens teamed up to lead the Philadelphia Eagles to their first Super Bowl since 1980 was one of the greatest seasons my maligned city has seen in decades. Terrell Owns was a huge part of that and was beloved for it … before his real lunacy started ...

Cooley Exposed More Than His Playbook
Chris Cooley, a friend of the bloggers as well as an accomplished blogger in his own right, had a nice day on the field today, but I don't think that's what people are going to remember come tomorrow. Earlier today Chris posted on his official blog about a fun section of the playbook that Jim Zorn ...

Jessica Simpson Entertains Phoenix Baseball Fans, Car Wreck Aficionados
We may have had a bit of fun in our last visit with the notion that Jessica Simpson's opening act is Randy Johnson. However, we felt that perhaps we hadn't given the matter the proper respect it deserves. After all, a number of important and wealthy people knowledgeable about their industries determ...

Marquez Knocks Out Casamayor In the Eleventh
Juan Manuel Marquez is the new linear champion of the lightweight division after dominating Ring Magazine champ Joel Casamayor last night in Las Vegas. Once the 35 year-old got comfortable in the ring you never would have known he was coming up in weight to challenge the division's champion. Marque...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Shall We Play a Game?
• 1:00 — NFL: Oakland @ Kansas City [CBS] — This is a National Fucking Football League game where one head coach may be playing for his job ... in week two. Hopefully I will not get fired after day two. • 1:00 — NFL: Bears @ Carolina [FOX] — Get to know Matt Forte and Kyle Orton. Here's the link to ...

Ike Wreaks Havoc With Baseball Playoff Races, Scheduling
The NFL isn’t the only league effected by that bastard Ike as the Astros and Major League Baseball have agreed to move two of Houston’s canceled home games that were scheduled against the Cubs this weekend to a “neutral” site in Milwaukee. Eddie Wade’s Astros have been on fire over the past three we...

Casamayor and Marquez Clash For the Title, Guzman Fails to Make Weight
For the second straight Saturday night the spotlight shines on the always entertaining lightweight division with what was supposed to be a pair of title fights. Unfortunately Joan Guzman was unable to make weight in his quest to unseat Nate Campbell. The two will still headline Showtime's impressiv...

Mom Allegedly Steals Daughter's Identity, Becomes 15-Year-Old Cheerleader
First, a note: GARRETT GUZMAN, YOU STAY RIGHT OUT OF THIS POST, MISTER. With that out of the way, let's discuss Miss Wendy Brown of Green Bay, WI. Her 15-year-old daughter lives with Wendy's own mother in Nevada for reasons that will readily become apparent. In an attempt to reclaim her own lost you...

Nationals Minor-Leaguer Allegedly Corrupts Youth in the Back of His Car
This charming young fellow is 25-year-old Garrett Guzman. He enjoys long fly balls out of the park, walking to first base, piña coladas, and a per diem over $25. (Or so we assume. He is, after all, a minor-leaguer in the Washington Nationals system, playing in Harrisburg, PA.) We have also received ...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Let the River Run, Indeed
• 12:00 — College Football: Navy vs. Duke [ESPNU] - Get to know the young men that you will silently curse when they blow by you for promotions in six years. • 2:30 — Movie: Working Girl [A&E] - Joan Cusack only lost this Oscar because she had to compete in the Best Supporting Actress category with ...

MLB Closer: Okay, Lord... Me and You, Right?
Six games didn't get off the ground without the assistance of rising tides today, thanks to enough moisture across these United States to make you think Tammy Faye Bakker herself had been disinterred by her own post-mortem weeping. Division races from the AL Central to the NL Central (oh, and the ...

We Find Ourselves Rather Disliking Ike
Galveston, Houston and much of the Gulf Coast stay in lockdown mode this morning, waiting still to assess the human and structural damage as Hurricane Ike, freak storm that it appears to be, drags a huge storm surge over the Texas coast. However, we do have a preliminary assessment of the effect on...

Shea Stadium Is Going Out Of Business; Everything Must Go!
Not since Cosmo Kramer fished the entire Merv Griffin talk show set out of a dumpster has there been a bigger opportunity than this: The Shea Stadium Memorabilia Auction. I know you've always wanted your very own Mets dugout, and now is your chance: Starting bid $100,000. How about Moises Alou's loc...

Jason Collins And The Golf Cart Of Doom
At least Timberwolves fans have great memories from the 2007-2008 season when their all-time greatest player won an NBA Championship in his first season with another team. Now their center can't avoid injury while driving around a golf course. Per the Minneapolis Star-Tribune: "Collins was injured ...

Erin Andrews Is an Objective Journalist When it Comes To Her Gator Love
Erin Andrews, who now seems to live at the nexus of hotness and controversy in the world of sports (previous resident Anna Kournikova), is angered by suggestions that she shows favoritism for the Gators. The latest flareup arose when internet rumors spread that Andrews flipped off several Miami fans...

Twelve-Year-Old Girl Kicked Off Boys' Basketball Team For Being Too Good
Oh man, those boys on that basketball team are done. Jaime Nared is a 12-year-old, 6-foot, 1-inch basketball player from outside Portland, OR. She's just finished sixth grade and she's now playing with a girls high school traveling team because she's too good to play with girls her own age. Perhaps ...

Charlie Weis Still Hates Dana Jacobson
Since it's time for the big Michigan-Notre Dame game, the blogosphere has brought back the vodka-swilling Jacobson rant. Now The Big Lead is citiing a source that claims both Trey Wingo and Jacobson have sent personal letters of apology over the event. Evidently Wingo used the word "retarded," and W...

Florida Protests Obnoxious Label By Being Obnoxious
Responding to last week's Fox Sports poll which listed both Florida and Florida State among the nation's "top 10 most obnoxious fan bases," FLSportsFan.com is calling for a boycott, and um, other stuff which they haven't really though out yet. But they'll get to it! Good thing they've forgotten abou...

8 Most Interesting College Football Games of the Weekend
Sometimes choosing which college football games to watch is tough. Particularly since, unlike the NFL, the games kick off at odd hours, on odd stations, with odd match-ups. And there are so damn many of them. As college football has become more commoditized the top 2 or 3 games soak up 99% of the a...