as Page 2415 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Aei! The Olympic Mascots Are Back! Run For Your Lives!
Like childhood night terrors or the career of George Michael, we thought that we were done with The Five Friendlies for good; or at least until the 2008 Olympics. But no dice. China trotted out their satanic mascot goblins once again on Sunday while announcing the China Bowl, an NFL exhibition set...

Another Morning Terrell Owens Update
As we deal with the sustained brilliance of our comment section — seriously; you guys are absolutely setting the planet on fire this morning. The genius displayed on the T.O. story is out of control — we turn again to the attempted suicide of Terrell Owens. We have a feeling this might be the type o...

Yep, This Is Actually Happening
If you're looking for the moment when the Cardinals late-season disgorgement transformed from a local sense of nervousness to a national jeez-that-car-is-about-to-crash fascination, it was last night. The Cardinals lost again, the Astros and Reds both won, the wild-card number is at five for the six...

T.O. Tried To Kill Himself
So you know how Terrell Owens was rushed to the hospital last night, because of an "allergic reaction" to some pain medication? Well, a Dallas police report says it wasn't a bad reaction at all: It was a suicide attempt....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while apologizing for not sneaking in some Byron Nelson condolences yesterday ... • NFL: Oh, so it's Tim Lewis who has been chosen to fall on the sword for the Giants. We were wondering. • MLB: So it seems those Reds aren't quite done yet ... • NHL: And another one's gone and another...

This Man Is Extremely, EXTREMELY Old
This bespeckled elderly gentleman is Silas Simmons, and he was recently discovered to be the oldest living Negro Leagues ballplayer. He is 110 ... wha? He's 110??!! And he's 111 next month? Jesus....

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Los Angeles Clippers
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner (no, not that corner; that's curling). We don't know about you, but we've barely had time to miss Ron Artest and Mark Cuban before they're back again. And that's a good thing. So let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team, ...

That'll Be All, Whitlock: You Are Lucky We Let You Live
So, you know how Jason Whitlock, after leaving ESPN Page 2, gave an interview last week in which he trashed Mike Lupica and Scoop Jackson in an interview with The Big Lead?...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering whether or not magic numbers ever actually move ... • MLB: White Sox reign of terror has officially ended. • NFL: It's a blue blue morning, of a blue blue day/All your bad dreams drift away. Saints 23, Falcons 3 in the return of pro football to the Superdome. • Tennis...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Seattle SuperSonics
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner (no, not that corner; that's curling). We don't know about you, but we've barely had time to miss Ron Artest and Mark Cuban before they're back again. And that's a good thing. So let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team, ...

It's Christmas In Dallas!
So DC Sports Bog alerted us to some old Dallas Cowboys videos dug up by outstanding Cowboys blog Know Your Dallas Cowboys, and they're really amazing....

Our Teams: A Requiem In Three Acts
I. So now it can be written and known: The spinning, sprinting 12-yard sideaways rugby punts are not, in fact, a device that has come to revolutionize the sport of football. Sorry, Coach Zook. Our Illini very well might be the worst team in Division I-A, and we see no reason they wouldn't lose to Ne...

New Looks For D-Backs, Reds
What to do if your team struggles late and is unable to sneak into the playoffs after a somewhat surprising season? Change your logo, of coruse....

The Closer: Tigers Welcome The 21st Century
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while participating in The Great Gorilla Run ... • NFL: Jeremy Shockey says that Giants were (gasp!) outcoached in 42-30 loss to Seahawks. • MLB: Astros 7, Cardinals 3. If you need us, we'll be in the fetal position until Oct. 3rd. • Golf: Ryder Cup ... Gambling is illegal at Bushwoo...

Johnny Damon, Grabbing Himself And Having Sex
Johnny Damon beats off in centerfield. At least, I think that's what she's saying. And you know, she doesn't seem repulsed by the idea... not enough to follow Damon home and mess with his war veteran father, anyway....

Does This Mean Jay-Z Has To Rename His Club?
Forty. Forty. Forty. There was a time in the not-too-distant past when seeing that word three times in a row would mean that I had 120 ounces of this garbage coursing through my veins. Today, however, it represents the remarkable accomplishment of Alfonso Soriano, becoming the first ever member of t...

About Last Night...
• MLB: Pirates 2, Padres 6. It should be illegal, actually against the law, for Joe freaking Randa to break up a no-hitter. Just a travesty. • College Football: Northwestern 21, Nevada 31. The Big Ten's reputation continues to grow. • MLB: San Francisco 12, Milwaukee 13. Six RBIs for Barry Bonds. He...

Jason Whitlock Leaves ESPN With Guns Ablaze
Now that columnist Jason Whitlock has officially written his final column for ESPN Page 2, he is perhaps a bit more free to speak his mind; the kids at AOL Sports, his new online employer, tend to have a thicker skin on such matters....