as Page 2414 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bobby Cox Likes To Leave Early Sometimes
With Barry Bonds depressingly close to breaking Hank Aaron's record, we turn our eyes to a much more noble and compelling all-time mark: Bobby Cox's quest to beat baseball's ejections record. He has been tossed 128 times, three away from John McGraw; our favorite stat is that he's 32 games away from...
It's Raining (Very Fat) Men
It happens every time we attend a game at Shea Stadium; inevitably a druken fat guy will topple onto us from the row above, causing us to break certain small bones. We don't even bother to sue anymore; we're used to it. But Ellen Massey, a Manhattan lawyer, is not so magnanimous. She's had enough....
Great Moments In Foul Ball Retrieval
As we continue to try to come to terms with the gruesome spectacle that is the 2007 St. Louis Cardinals, we note that, these days, even the ballboys are afraid of the baseball....
David Wells Explains It All
Since Bud Selig has hidden himself in a secure, undisclosed location until after Bonds breaks the career home run record, The Quote Machine That Is David Wells is back in action. The Padres' pitcher has a few things to say about Roger Clemens' new contract with the Yankees, specifically the clause t...
Turn Your Head, Order A Beer And Cough
The Milwaukee Brewers continue to outclass the rest of the National League Central — particularly that sullen goop currently residing in last place — but they're not resting on their laurels and ignoring their diehards. The Brewers truly care about their fans' well-being and longterm health, and to ...
How Not To Ride In A Golf Cart
It's a beautiful day in New York City today, and though we don't golf, it does seem like a lovely afternoon to be on a golf course. Particularly for a ride in golf cart. Drunk. What could possibly go wrong?...
Mariners 3, Yankees 2: Major League Baseball Regrets The Error
Notes on a day in baseball:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to catch Ferris Bueller in the act ... • MLB: Division title brewing? Milwaukee 3, Washington 0. • NHL: Red Wings cause Sharks to go extinct, 2-0. • NBA: Second City ... Pistons clobber Bulls once again, 108-87....
When Baseball Players Act Like They Want To Fight
In the wake of Roger Clemens' "Look at ME!" announcement yesterday, the fact that the Yankees and Mariners had a pseudo "lemme at 'em!" brawl was entirely lost. (Same thing with the Brewers-Prince Fielder skirmish.) But nothing beats a bench-clearing tussle, mainly because rarely are punches actuall...
Floyd Mayweather Gets His Frito Bandito On
Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all ac...
Where The Hell Is Carl Monday?
Remember the old days, when the bus driver who drove you and your school friends to the ball game just masturbated with his hand? Now they're using mechanical devices and popping pills ... it's just like everything else in baseball; cheating is rampant. All the records are tainted....
Steve Nash, Definitely A Bleeder
There are all kinds of disappointing ways for a tight, close NBA playoff game to end. A key player can be thrown out, a team can self-destruct, a naked man can run on the court ... there are all kinds of ways to transform a potential classic into a missed opportunity. But one of the worst has to be ...
Roger's Back In Town
What they're saying around the blogs on Roger Clemens signing with the Yankees ......
It's Important That You Remember That Roger Clemens Is Your Savior
Last week, Curt Schilling was accused of self-aggrandizing ego worship for supposedly painting blood on his sock, or whatever it was. Schilling's impassioned defense of his own heroism was both absolutely correct — the man has a right to defend himself against false claims — and completely fitting, ...
Put Your Hands Together For The Artist Currently Known As Prince
Notes on a day in baseball:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed when your dad forces you to go to the stripper party ... • NBA: Don't worry girls, it's just a scratch ... Steve will be at the dance tonight. Spurs 111, Suns 106. • NHL: Sabres send Rangers home. Take that, Bloomberg. • MLB: Welcome to the majors, Timmy. Phillies 8, Giants 5....
That's A Really Quiet 48 Percent
Some interesting stuff on ESPN.com today ... ESPN/ABC News polled Americans to see how they felt about Barry Bonds eclipsing Hank Aaron's homerun record. As it turns out, black people don't hate Barry Bonds nearly as much as white people hate Barry Bonds....
If This Continues, Darin Erstad Might Want to Grab a Helmet
Catching a fly ball against the backdrop of dozens of retina-searing white lights can't be easy. Every now and then, you're going to lose one ... and in such instances, you're going to stand there and look like a chump. It happens to the best of them. But that doesn't make it less amusing....
About Last Night...
• NBA. Nets 98, Raptors 97. Our MVP and our Coach of the Year both failed to make it out of the first round. We need a new system. • MLB. Mets 5, Diamondbacks 3. Julio Franco broke Julio Franco's record for the oldest guy to ever hit a home run. Julio Franco is likely to do it again. • NHL. Sabres 2...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Sandman refills the litter box ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Eddie Chambers vs. Dominick Guinn and Chris Arreola vs. Devin Vargas, at Las Vegas. Latter winner to face Henry VIII at London. [Showtime] • MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers at Atlanta [TBS]; Chicago White Sox at Los Angeles Angels....