as Page 2513 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

At Last, Nash And Nowitzki, Together Again
While trying to find video of a time when Mavericks coach Avery Johnson's voice was deep — we imagine it just one day rising, like reverse puberty — we came across this apparent promotional video for the Mavs. "The Avery Bunch" are heading to the Western Conference Finals, where they will face the P...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while kissing Lilly, sending Eddie off to school and getting into another hair-brained scheme with Grandpa ... • NHL Playoffs: 'Canes Mutiny: Rampant Tropical Weather Systems even series with Sabres. • MLB: Richie Sexson and grand slam just kind of go together, don' they? Mariners be...

Hasselhoff, Nowitzki Lead Mavs Past Spurs
Boy, man, is Mark Cuban's billion-dollar penis ever gonna come out and play tonight....

It's Western Conference March Madness
We know a few people, Midwesterners, mostly, sometimes with their own little biases, who claim to love college basketball but are left cold by the NBA. We don't understand this, but even they can't deny the beauty of tonight: Two games, both elimination, winners play each other in the conference fin...

Two Bald Guys, Ruling Everything
Pity the poor parents of anyone who might have been featured on ESPN's coverage of track and field yesterday; we imagine them readying to watch their dear child heave the shot put or hoist a javelin, years of support and pride and sweat finally being showcased on national television ... and then, ...

Many Japanese Baseball People Screaming
Someone sent us this "video" that appears to be a commercial for a Japanese baseball ... something. We have no idea what it's about, what's going on, or what it means ... but we do know that we are truly philosophically scarred by the whole thing....

The Pain Of Life As A Royals Fan
We watched all three Cardinals-Royals games over the weekend, on the Royals television affiliate — which had a charming, low rent, public access, Wayne's World feel — and we can say with as much certainty as we can muster that the Royals are the worst team we've seen in a long, long time. It's not...

The David Wells Mad Lib
Obviously, David Wells — as evidenced by his appearance on the waiver wire in just about every fantasy league we're in — is much more useful as a quote machine these days than as an actual baseball player. And he's never more amusing than when he's being edited to suit the taste of the delicate ne...

Checking In On The Bonds Contest
We're going to get into tonight's Cardinals-Giants, Bonds-Pujols matchup a little later today, but we thought the time was right to remind you of our Barry Bonds home run challenge, which encouraged you, nearly a month ago now, to predict which pitcher would give up the homer that passed Babe Ruth...

It's All About That Inside Post Position
Jon Kreft is a seven-foot-tall, Uwe Blab of a center, and he's the top recruit coming to Florida State next year....

The Closer: Mr. Met Kicks Some Cross-Town Booty
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while consoling a sad Johnny Cakes ... • NBA Playoffs: Well, that took longer than it should have. Pistons pull plug on LeBron, Cavs 79-61. • MLB: Our long national nightmare is over. Abreu's five RBI help sink Red Sox, end Phils' five-game loss streak. • NHL Playoffs: Edmonton Fossi...

I Believe Dirk and David Hasselhoff Would Approve
I feel like I've seen enough "Lazy Sunday" parodies to last me for the rest of my life. I appreciated the original SNL bit as much as anyone, but at some point, it turned into nothing more than a license for young white people to make their own rap videos. Rarely will any good come from that....

Wichita State Needs A New Mascot
They're not renaming themselves, thankfully, they just want to replace the guy on the left there. When I first saw the headline, I feared that the people at Wichita State had gotten tired of all the jokes that make people like us so happy. But that's not the case, and besides, changing to somethin...

We're Goin' Streakin'!
A reader sent in a tip regarding a streaker at the Royals/Cardinals game Friday night. The streaker, a tattooed, mohawked Cardinals fan in boxer shorts, stole the 1985 Royals World Series flag, ran into left field, and, according to the tipster, was then beaten down by a combination of police, the...

About Last Night...
• MLB: Marlins 3, Devil Rays 4. And the Marlins tie the MLB record for consecutive games blown after leading in the 9th. The previous record holder? Tampa Bay. So much at stake at 1:15 today....

About Last Night...
• MLB: San Francisco 0, Oakland 1. As you may have been able to figure out from the score, Barry Bonds did not homer. Yet, even after that night of baseball, it still led SportsCenter. If only there was a "Diop on Diop" series....

And The Ones Get Sevens...
Screw "About Last Night!" After a night of basketball like that, it can be demoted to the two-spot......

Hey, It's Rivalry Week!
Ah, to be a Yankees fan at Shea Stadium. It's a good thing that someone is rudely making rabbit ears behind this kids' head, or else he'd surely be clocked by the other kid with the miniature bat. We're not sure what to think of interleague play. On one hand, a game between the Mets and Yankees th...

Hey, Kids, Let's Play Nintendo!
Thanks to SporTech Matter for this beauty of a find: It's the actual original 1987 television commercial for RBI Baseball, the Nintendo game that we (and, we suspect, the majority of you) spent most our youth playing until we were yelled at to go to bed....