ass Page 239 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Classic Man: "Going Bald Is One Of The Most Severe Tests"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed how to tell if a lady is coming onto you; today, let’s talk tips for coping with baldness....
Memphis Undoes Decision To Honor John Calipari After Fans Whine
Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame this weekend for a career that has, over nearly 30 years, seen his teams advance to six Final Fours (two of them vacated) and win an NCAA title. Before Calipari coached Kentucky, however, he spent nine seasons ...
Classic Man: If Her Pupils Are Dilated, She's Totally Into You
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed homemade deodorant; today, let’s figure out how to tell if a woman is hitting on you....
Kansas State Band Insists They Were Not In Dong Formation
Kansas State officials continue to apologize for anyone they might have offended by Saturday’s Jayhawk-vs-dong marching band formation, while insisting there was “no ill intention.” The Star Trek-themed program purported to show the U.S.S. Enterprise attacking a “horrible space creature,” but to nea...
![Kansas State Band Formation Is NSFW [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Kansas State Band Formation Is NSFW [UPDATE]
This is, supposedly, the Kansas State band as the U.S.S. Enterprise “encountering a horrible space creature.” It looks a lot more like the Kansas Jayhawk performing fellatio....
Classic Man: Make Your Own Deodorant
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we talked baths for girls; today, we’re exploring the idea of homemade deodorant. ...
Darren Rovell Says Racism Is Okay If The Market Approves; ESPNers Flee
Darren Rovell, a commemorative gift plate from the American Enterprise Institute that somehow talks and writes and uses social media, went there just now on Twitter, and it’s a sight to behold—a service to the nation, in its way. While a market fundamentalist with a neuron or two firing would probab...
Bat Fetching Sports Dog Retires After 649 Consecutive Games
All dogs are good dogs. This is objective fact and I will not hear any arguments against it. But some dogs, like Miss Babe Ruth of Greensboro, N.C., are better dogs. Since she was a nine-month-old puppy, the black labrador retriever has worked for the Class A Greensboro Grasshoppers, living up to he...
Dumbass Has Dumb Thoughts On Paternity Leave
Hate clicks are still clicks, but John Stiegerwald — the dumbass columnist who blamed Bryan Stow for getting beaten up — was kind enough to post his rant against Trevor Rosenthal taking paternity leave on Facebook, where we won’t have to give him any uniques to read his impressive buffoonery....
Results Of Baylor Investigation: We Need Another Investigation
In reaction to one of its football players being convicted of sexually assaulting another student, Baylor announced it would investigate “the circumstances associated with this case.” Merely a week later, the university released results from the law professor-led investigation at 7 p.m. Central on a...
Report: Woman Sues Derrick Rose, Says He Drugged, Gang Raped Her
TMZ is reporting tonight that Derrick Rose has been sued by a woman who says Rose and two of his friends “drugged and gang raped her.” The woman is asking for unspecified damages. Here is how the lawsuit describes what happened, per TMZ: ...
Classic Man: "Women Should Take Baths"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we covered the art of bribery; today, we’re talking about chicks and baths....
Baylor And Boise State Won't Stop Playing The Blame Game On Sam Ukwuachu
Last Thursday, a Waco jury found Baylor football player Sam Ukwuachu guilty of sexual assault. Since then, the two universities that had him on their teams—first Boise State, then Baylor, which took him as a transfer—haven’t bothered themselves with much public reflection. There have been no apologi...
Keeper Gets Red Card For Snatching Up, Throwing Out Idiot On The Field
You’d think the ref would have more respect for this fed up keeper who hunts down a pitch invader, grabs him by the back of the shirt, and marches him off the field like a put-upon teacher escorting an unruly student to the principal’s office, but instead of thanks, Mohamed Sokhra only received a re...
Classic Man: "A Bribe Is Never Spoken Of Nor Alluded To"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Friday, we covered how to style your hair; today, we’re touching up on the dark art of bribery....
Classic Man: "Traditionalists May Favor The Left For Locating The Standard Part"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Wednesday, we discussed how to orient yourself in the wilderness; today, we address how to style your hair....
Baylor’s Investigation Of Sam Ukwuachu Was Shameful
As awareness has spread about rape—and pressure has increased on universities to prevent and address it among their students—two justice systems have formed. There’s the one we’ve had for centuries: the cops, the courts, and if it goes to trial, a verdict. Now there’s a second track, one where unive...
Baylor Player Found Guilty Of Sexual Assault
A Texas court has found Baylor Bears football player Sam Ukwuachu guilty of sexual assault. Ukwuachu, 22, was indicted of two counts of sexual assault by a former Baylor soccer player in October 2013. His trial began Tuesday....
Classic Man: "True North Lies On The Horizon Directly Below The North Star"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we discussed surreptitiously riding the rails; today, we address a few ways to orient yourself in the wild....
Accuser Testifies In Baylor Football Player's Sexual Assault Trial
The trial for Baylor’s Sam Ukwuachu began today in a Waco courthouse. Ukwuachu, who transferred to Baylor from Boise State but never played a down, was indicted on two counts of sexual assault stemming from what happened in the early hours of Oct. 20, 2013. Very little about what happened that day—o...