ass Page 239 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There Is No Hockey News So Here's Jamie Benn Being An Idiot
Stars captain Jamie Benn dished out a team-high 52 assists last season. He is a generous teammate and a selfish lover:...

Golf Interrupted By Mildly Exciting Thing
Zach Johnson had to jump away from his putt attempt on the 16th hole at the John Deere Classic Sunday after an air cannon went off in his backswing. As everyone coped with the loud noise, the broadcast panned to the source: a boat cruising by the course....

Ronaldo Returns Lost Phone, Treats Owner And Her Friends To A Night Out
Cristiano Ronaldo is famous for his many, many goals and the selfish way he goes about scoring them. However, the forward is apparently more than willing to lend a helping hand to a random stranger in Las Vegas, finding a woman’s phone, returning it to her, and taking her and her friends on a night ...
![Here Are The Documents Bill Cosby Didn't Want You To Read [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1329854176649228691.jpg)
Here Are The Documents Bill Cosby Didn't Want You To Read [Updated]
Today saw the unsealing of documents from the 2005 civil suit in which Andrea Constand said Bill Cosby drugged and raped her while she worked at Temple University. The unsealing followed a request from the Associated Press, which Cosby’s legal team fought it on the grounds that Cosby isn’t a “public...

England Lose World Cup Semifinal In Most Heartbreaking Fashion Possible
For 90 minutes, England stood toe-to-toe with Japan. The match was tied 1-1, with each team having scored a penalty kick, and as the clock ticked into extra time, it looked like we would need 30 more minutes to decide the tie. And then, English defender Laura Bassett made a touch that will haunt her...

Cosby Claims He's Not A Public Figure To Keep Embarrassing Docs Sealed
Bill Cosby, who has sold out arenas, who has been televised into millions of homes, who lectured America on the virtues of buckled pants, who has spoken at rally after rally, who has served on the board of trustees of a public university, claims he is not a public figure. Or rather, that’s the argum...

Evil Soccer Man Sticks His Fingers Up Opponent's Butthole
What part of “you can’t use your hands” don’t you get, Gonzalo Jara? And Cavani was the one who got sent off? There’s no justice in this world....


Director Of Terrible FIFA Movie Rues His New Rep As A Propaganda Man
Frédéric Auburtin had the misfortune of directing the colossal flop that was United Passions, the movie about and paid for by FIFA. And while directing an awful movie itself can usually be brushed off pretty easily, the recent scandal has inflicted lasting scars on Auburtin’s reputation, as he expla...

<i>Jurassic World </i>Features Cooler Dinosaurs And Way Stupider People
1. Here’s the only real question you need to ask yourself about Jurassic World: Does it bother you that such a theme park could never actually exist? I mean, obviously it could never exist: It has dinosaurs, for one thing. But more to the point, can you accept the fact that no rational human being w...

Pallas's Cats Are Charming, Puffy Maniacs
Pallas’s cats, also known as manuls, are ridiculous creatures with amazing facial expressions. I love them so much. I don’t care that I’m extremely late to the party....

How Kevin Johnson Used Public Money To His Own Personal Ends
Kevin Johnson has ambitions of becoming something much more than just mayor of his hometown of Sacramento, Calif. So far, the former NBA star hasn’t found a way to realize them—but his desire to expand and promote his brand has meant that Sacramento city staffers have had lots of extra work to do th...

Wacky, Hilarious Guy Dwight Howard Wore A Big Hat To The Astros Game
Poop joke virtuoso Dwight Howard was at last night’s Astros game, wearing a Rockets tank top and—a big cowboy hat??...

Derick Brassard Scores Hat Trick As Rangers Force Game 7
Derick Brassard made sure that the Rangers’ season didn’t end tonight. He scored three and assisted two of New York’s seven goals, as they blew out the Lightning 7-3 to force a Game 7, which will be played Friday at Madison Square Garden....
![Ray McDonald Arrested On Domestic Violence Charge, Released [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1268227054919042087.jpg)
Ray McDonald Arrested On Domestic Violence Charge, Released [Update]
Chicago Bears defensive end Ray McDonald has been arrested by Santa Clara, Calif. police on allegations of domestic violence, according to NBC Bay Area. ...

Holy Shit, Look At This Atalanta Wondergoal
What a move. Watch as three Atalanta players combine to send the ball about 20 yards from the right wing into the back of the net, not letting it once touch the ground until Sassuolo's keeper picks the ball—along with his jaw—out of his goal after Germán Denis's pièce de résistance of a bicycle kick...

Quick, Drink This Great Kosher Beer Before Passover Starts!
Were your parents the sort of filthy liars who encouraged you to believe you could accomplish anything you wanted in life? Mine were not. They were pleasant realists who offered vague philosophical support for my larger hopes and dreams, but mainly wished my penmanship would improve enough to help...

