ass Page 284 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chiefs Without Briefs
Thanks to Christoph and Andrew for sending in this photo evidence that crack kills. I can't believe there are two of you watching the Royals game....

Ibrahimovic Plays A Very Literal Back Pass!
Those of you seduced by some cracking Premier League weekend matches probably didn't feel the need to bathe in continental football waters to get your thrills....

The Bulldogs Are <em>Pullen</em> For An Upset: Your Butler-Kansas State Open Thread
No one is saying that Butler is a mid-major darling anymore. Expect that to stop if Kansas State wins. Who do you think Frank Martin looks like?...

The Worst Offseason Workout Program Ever
A longtime North Carolina high school coach is accused of, well, basically torturing some of his students after inviting them over to "lift weights." Seriously, this is Jame Gumb shit right here....

I Guess They'll Let Anyone Go There Now: Your 9:30ish Open Thread
It's the rich kids vs. the (shhh) rich kids, i.e. Cornell-Kentucky. The Pride of Cincinnati vs. The Other Manhattan, i.e. Xavier-Kansas State. Will Ashley Judd be seen again, or can Cornell win one for a fictional character?...

David Mamet's All-Caps Memo To TV Writers Is Delightful: "The Scene Is A Crock Of Shit"
Slashfilm got a hold of a David Mamet memo (say that three times fast and cuss profusely) to the writing staff of The Unit, a show he created. Simply put, he isn't pleased with their work. FUCK THE MACHINE! [Slashfilm]...

Bode Miller? Never Heard Of Him
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Angry Hue Seeks To Smother Feral Cats: North Texas-Kansas State Open Thread
Jacob Pullen tries to seriously mess up the Mean Green, who were not involved in this and who feature no players named Joe. Discussion of Frank Martin's theatrics should be as profanity-laden as possible....

Irving To Milk One Last Cash Grab Out Of Texas Stadium
It'll cost fans and demolition aficionados (I call them demolitionados) $25 per vehicle to watch next month's implosion of Texas Stadium. The hole in the roof is so God can watch the implosion for free. That's the saying, right? [AP]...

Another, More Pissy, Theory About What Happened In A Milledgeville Bathroom With Ben Roethlisberger
I secretly hoped that the always entertaining, exclamatory MediaTakeOut would have something dopey to add to the sexual assault allegations against Big Ben and good googly moogly did they ever....

Agassi And Sampras Have A Catfight For Charity
Dear Haiti: please enjoy this donation of two of America's greatest tennis players ever, teasing and bickering like little children for all the world to see. No givesies backsies....

One Of Ben Roethlisberger's "Bitches" Speaks Up
Ben Roethlisberger's still getting hassled over that innocent Thursday night of bar hopping in Milledgeville, Ga. and now there are more people willing to say damning things about him since he's apparently not very nice to everyone....

Big East Tournament Brings Out Gross Married Guys And Men Urinating In Bank Vestibules
Yes, the word "douchebags" has been overused at this point, but it is still fascinating to watch them in their natural element, especially when mixed with the toxic combo of booze, attractive correspondents and a television camera....

Mark Sanchez Is <em>The</em> Future Of Home Entertainment
This photo is begging for some mischievous editing. Or maybe just hilarious captions. Please note that jokes about his future being bright enough to warrant wearing sunglasses will be ignored....

Dykstra Strikes Out With The Help, Gets Sued
His financial empire in ruins, can we begrudge Lenny Dykstra his desire for a blow job? Yes we can, when he wants it from his personal assistant, and it's entirely non-consensual....

Peter King Leads The League In Obliviousness, Strange Notions Of Justice (UPDATE)
Whenever a football story drifts beyond football and contracts and whatever Brett Favre just text-messaged from his ride mower, we can always count on Peter King to give voice to the most oblivious and casually insensitive thought in his head....

Big Ben Photographer Speaks; GCSU Says No Comment
On Thursday, Justin, a senior at GCSU, snapped a photo of Ben Roethlisberger with a young woman. As with a lot of things that night, that photo's now the subject of innuendo and insinuation, some of it, Justin says, misguided....

Stiffing Captain Lou! The Final A-HOLE BOSS DIGEST
Welcome to our final edition of Asshole Boss Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane bosses, coaches, and teachers you ever had. Off we go....

Quarterbacks No Longer Welcome In Ladies' Room At "Millyvegas" Bar
According to a tipster, this sign now hangs on the door of the women's restroom at The Brick, one of the Milledgeville, Ga., bars visited by Ben Roethlisberger on Thursday night. I think it pretty much speaks for itself....

Big Ben's Night Out In "Millyvegas": What The Bartenders Saw
Questions swirl around the night that led to sexual assault charges against Ben Roethlisberger. Fellow bargoers and bartenders offer accounts of binge drinking in a sexually charged atmosphere, and their takes on what really went down....