aw Page 477 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

No Steroids In The NFL, Nope: That's Baseball's Problem
If you will, a case study:...

Live From Game One
Jalopnik's Ray Wert is a man who loves the Tigers and has fragile emotions—particularly when being left out of Gawker media bets. He was at game one of the World Series last night....

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Atlanta Hawks
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we begin the Southeast Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....

Lawrence Phillips Hits Bottom, Is Sure He Can Go Lower
And so in the end, Lawrence Phillips leaves us the way we always knew he would: receiving up to 20 years in prison for running into three kids with his car after a pickup football game. The former Cornhuskers /Rams /Dolphins /49ers /Bobcats /Alouettes /Stampeders /Dragons running back was convicte...

Your Thursday Morning NFL Roundup
"So, like, I text messaged Terrell to wish him well and everything after his overdose thingy, and he never texts me back. No biggie, right? But now he says he never got it! Like, I'm so sure! It's incredible th ... oh wait, that's Ashley on the other line. Be back in a sec."...

Jesus Has Nothing On Mike Holmgren
Lost in all the Terrell Owens madness yesterday was the strange, theologically earth-shattering news that Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander proclaimed he would play next week, despite his broken foot, because of the power of prayer....

Madden Curse Soon To Attack Rest Of Humanity
You know, all told, Ray Lewis never actually suffered from the Madden Curse: People always forget nothing happened to him that year....

Over There, Belichick Should Break Up LOTS Of Marriages
If you're a Patriots fan who just hasn't had every opportunity and vessel through which to express your undying devotion, worry not: You can now wear Tom Brady's jersey in Chinese....

"Hey, Like, Old Guy ... It's Your Turn"
This is an actual photo, taken last weekend, from the Iowa-Iowa State pregame last Saturday....

Darryl Strawberry Can Teach Your Kids A Few Tricks
We know that Darryl Strawberry has made considerable strides toward cleaning up his life in recent years, and for that we applaud him: Not everyone can be Dwight Gooden, after all. But we still find it somewhat, eh, curious by this auction currently up for bid at MLB.com....

Apparently, Jose Lima Isn't The Only Singer Out There
If you weren't satisfied with Bill Simmons' iTunes mix — remember, by the way, tonight's Mr. Simmons' curious appearance on "The Colbert Report," so set Tivos to "stun" — our friendly overlords at Gawker Media are here to help....

NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......

The 49ers Should Probably Just Quit
The Football Outsiders have finished up their position-by-position rankings over at Fox Sports, and arranged the Top 5 and Bottom 5 in each category in one convenient location....

A Board Meeting With LT
Can you imagine being in a corporate conference room with Lawrence Taylor? Wouldn't that have to make your week? If it happened on a Monday, we'd coast around our cubicle with a happy, dancing, spritely air ... Lawrence Taylor was here! In our conference room! Fucking shit up!...

More Fun With The G-Man
We have no inherent dislike of Bryant Gumbel, but sometimes we think there's some sort of slow gas leak in his home. Greg Gumbel's wacky brother has really done it this time, angering his NFL overlords (he was hired to do play-by-play on eight NFL Network games this season) when he made a rude com...

NFL Season Preview: Seattle Seahawks
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people paintin...

A Good Old-Fashioned Minor League Basebrawl
Just because it's difficult to find one's self a decent baseball brawl anymore, here's about 90 seconds of a great one between between the Kansas City T-Bones and the Schaumberg Flyers about a week and a half ago. This one loses steam about two-plus minutes in, but it's rare, as one reader put it, "...

Ain't No Party Like A Rock Chalk Party 'Cause A Rock Chalk Party Don't Stop
This is Tim Flattery. He is a freshman at the University of Kansas. He just tried out for the Rock Chalk Dance Team. And he made it....

Free Post: Put Dawson In The Hall
Last week, we offered a free post anyone who could grab a Bruce Weber Bobblehead from a Schaumberg Flyers promotion. The blessed soul that is Jeff Kline, from a "hellhole of suburban vacuousness only seven miles away from Alexian Field," came through for us. So here's his free post, which has a nobl...

AJ Hawk Is A Moral Man
As a followup to our AJ Hawk/Laura Quinn/shotgun wedding post from yesterday, we look to the Dayton Daily News, which gives us the full report on why AJ Hawk, rather than go through with the planned wedding in March, got married in his lawyer's office while wearing his Under Armour gear. (Seriousl...