aw Page 478 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
51.8 Gigawatts!?
After a loss to the Atlanta Hawks, Udonis Haslem looked at a picture of his family and saw his siblings fading out of focus. He had no choice but to set things right and change the past. See, back on December 18 against the Atlanta Hawks, a last-minute foul that should have gone to Haslem instead wa...
The Burnley Bee Will Not Tolerate Nakedness
Look, from now on, when a costumed bee tackles a naked man during an English League soccer match — and then does about a half-hour Bee Victory Dance to celebrate the feat — I want to be informed immediately. I'm just seeing this now? Inexcusable. Hirshey, or someone, will pay. Now, on with the show....
NFL Divisional Pants Party: Packers Vs. Seahawks
OK, everyone, it's the best football weekend of the year. Seriously: Four awesome games, all weekend. What more could someone want?...
Eli Manning Could Get Into This Football Thing
Look at that Eli Manning. Look at him! He's all fired up! He loves this game of football! It's so cute; Eli is PUMPED!...
Seattle vs. Washington: Second Half
image via Getty I hope you enjoyed that first half, because I sure as shit didn't. The Redskins punted the ball at a breakneck pace and once Seattle got on the board their offense began to slow down. Then at the very end of the half master timekeeper Mike Holmgren decided he didn't want to leave any...
Seattle vs. Washington: First Half
Image via army.mil It's just about that time and my fingers are shaking from the anticipation... and the delirium tremens. The Seahawks and their alleged 12th Man have opened up Qwest field to the visiting Redskins and the kickoff of the 2008 NFLplayoffs are just moments away. I won't actually "liv...
Welcome to Wild Card Weekend
Praise Jesus, Adonai, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, Yaweh, Zeus, Odin, Bill Brasky, and their father, Tim Tebow. The NFL Playoffs arrive today and my preferred team will be kicking things off in about four hours. Seattle have the honor of hosting the early game and the weather is about what you'd expect. T...
Arizona Plays Two-On-Five ... And Still Almost Wins
So here's a story that's kind of fun: The Arizona women's basketball team only dressed six players in their game last night. It did not end well....
Mangino, Orange Become One
He went down to quick defeat in the SHOTY First Round, but Kansas coach Mark Mangino proved his mettle last night; that Kansas team might have pretty good, doggunit....
Another "BCS" "Bowl Game"
Forgive us for not doing much of an update on the gripping Fiesta Bowl last night. As happy as we might be for West Virginia and their new coach — and we're so, so happy, no question — but it's difficult to be too fired up for one top 10 to beat another top 10 in a meaningless bowl game just because...
NFL Wild Card Pants Party: Seahawks Vs. Redskins
All right, kids, the playoffs are beginning Saturday, so it's time to start sorting some of these wild-card matchups. We find one game compelling, two somewhat intriguing and one rather dull. This is in that middle category....
Boy, Is China's Face Red
OK, this is pretty hilarious. During a televised ceremony to launch China's television station for the Bejing Olympics, CCTV-5, famed Chinese broadcaster Zhang Bin was ambushed by his wife, who burst onto the stage and accused him of an affair....
Welcome To The System Quarterback Club, Colt
Tiny tidbits and news niblets from the OTHER bowl games yesterday ......
Looking Toward January 1 In Buffalo
For the 12 of you back at work, Melt Your Face Off offers this preview of the NHL's Winter Classic to be held one week from now, and why it kicks the ass of the stupid Capital One Bowl....
Thanks To ESPN, It'll Be Our Merriest Christmas Ever
This Christmas why not give the card that says "Not only am I cheap, but I have no sense of humor."? It's Holiday Smack Cards from ESPN; which can be sent to friends and loved ones, and hilarity is sure to ensue. That is, if your idea of humor is a toilet flushing. I can just picture some folks at P...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN searched its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Michael Vick Does Not Approve
We haven't quite wrapped our minds around this alleged news that Jonathan Papelbon's dog at the clinching ball from the World Series last year. We're not sure we believe it....
Pity The Poor Jayhawks Reporter
Is Mark Mangino leaving Kansas to become the new coach at West Virginia? Well, no, obviously. Who would think that? Unfortunately for him, Lawrence Journal-World reporter Ryan Wood, who became the victim of one of them thar hoaxes....
Elijah Dukes Might Have Some Lady Issues
Just in time for the SHOTY Quarterfinals, our old pal Elijah Dukes is at it again. The guy just can't help himself; his fingers just tap threatening text messages as if they have a mind of their own....
It's Close To Midnight And Hichori Morimoto Is Lurking In The Dark
Here is Hichori Morimoto of the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters accepting his Japanese Pacific League Golden Glove award. (Umm... back row, second from the left.) Just a word from the wise, Morimoto: Maybe stick to the performance art stilts and Martian or Conehead costumes. They're much less racisty,...