ball Page 1874 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If We Know Anything, It's That You Can't Beat The Greeks At Basketball
Looks like The Mighty MJD won his bet. We glumly welcome you this morning with the news that Team USA lost to Greece 101-95 in the semifinals of the World Basketball Championships....

Things That PETA Is Better Off Not Knowing About, No. 112
If you're like us, you frequently ask yourselves, "where can I find top, reliable donkeys for my donkey sporting event?" Fortunately we found Donkey Sports, Inc., and our troubles are over. For the finest in Donkey Softball and Donkey Basketball events, we highly recommend this company....

Sometimes, YouTube Can Be A Very Dangerous Thing
This is "Hugh Johnson," which is an incredibly clever fake name, and he has a UCLA fan site. He is, as you can tell here, extremely clever. And if we were a UCLA backer right now, we'd be hiding under our desk....

Fired Up In Buckeye Land
We're still a week and a half away from the second consecutive Jeez, Is It This Important Already? Bowl between Ohio State and Texas, but, as you would probably expect, they're appropriately fired up in the Columbus area....

Minor Enterprise: Save Me, Obi Wan Rabbit
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you've been arrested for public drunkeness while wearing a mascot beaver costume, contact us...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: JJ Redick
Former Duke popped collar shooting guard J.J. Redick has been a consistent source of amusement around here for a while now, from the typical bashing of Duke to his crying during the NCAA Tournament to his weird video game experiences...

"Show Me Where Mariotti Touched You, Alex"
We can't quite put our finger on why a picture of Ozzie Guillen talking to Alex Rodriguez while A-Rod violently adjusts his crotch region is funny .... but it nevertheless is....

The Closer: Delmon Young Receives Welcoming Gift
Notes from a day in baseball:...

U.S. Advances Once Again: Bring On The Greeks!
In a game we actually got up to watch for you this morning, the United States coasted into the semifinals of the World Basketball Championships by scooting past Germany 85-65 in Japan. We hope you actually were near an ESPN2 at the time, because, like all week, FIBA's Web site wasn't working, even s...

Nebraska Is Looking At The World Through Fly's Eyes
If you've ever been around a light source in the middle of an expanded Midwestern landscape of soybeans and chubby cows, you know you've got to be wary of Them Bugs. Them Bugs will attack you in intense droves, and they will do so without warning. A bug zapper will help, but just a little: There's n...

Controversy Rocks The Little League World Series
It seems we have proven once again that, when it comes to baseball, you should probably take what we say and expect the exact opposite. The team from Columbus, Ga. beat Kawaguchi City, Japan, 2-1, on Monday to claim the Little League World Series title, as America finally exacts revenge for the Wo...

Somehow, These Guys Weren't A Big Hit In Pittsburgh
The Pittsburgh Pirates were having a fireworks night at PNC Park on Thursday. They beat the Astros and the whether was nice, and everyone was having a good time. Until Me First and the Gimme Gimmes took the stage....

Australia Gets Their Beatdown
Team USA buried a big Paul Hogan-style knife into the Australian national team last night, winning by 40 in a game that wasn't as close as the score would indicate. Carmelo had 20, Joe Johnson 18, Dwyane Wade 15, and Shane Battier and Chris Bosh had 12 each....

Sometimes, Newer Really Is Better
I guess if we can ask that Wiffle Ball be put on television, that we have to go along with the Vintage Base Ball Federation. Jim Bouton, former major league pitcher and author of Ball Four, is starting up a league that simulates the way baseball was played in the 1800s, from the uniforms to the equi...

Texas Sold A Lot Of Stuff
The Texas longhorns have set a new NCAA record for merchandise sales. A football national title, a baseball national title, a very good basketball team, and Vince Young can do that for you, I guess. The school made $8.2 million in royalties last year....

New Mexico State Basketball Player May Have D'd Up A Pizza Guy
It seems like the only time that pizza guys get any attention are in plot attempts in porno (did you order the extra sausage?) and criminal activity. File this one into the latter category....

All Bonds Items Half Off; Everything Must Go!
It's official: The bubble has burst on Barry Bonds memorabilia. Jeff Kranz of Phoenix, who has been lovingly collecting Bonds stuff since 1998, is tossing his collection out on the front lawn like a jilted housewife. Well, actually he's dumping it at bargain prices. And it's not because Kranz is d...

The Lastings Milledge Ho-Down
We've had several people ask us this morning: Hey, how about those Cardinals? Actually, a few variations on the them, a 32 Short Films About Glenn Gould type of thing....