band Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
All Aboard The Bandwagon: Tampa Bay Writer Decides, On The Verge Of Conference Finals, That He Is A Hockey Fan
St. Pete Times writer Ben Montgomery has watched a grand total of seven Lightning games in his life, and they happen to be the most recent seven. The Lightning won all seven of those games. That's the kind of thing that makes one a hockey fan for life, right?...
Why Yes, One Cleveland Writer Did Make Osama Bin Laden's Death About LeBron James
And it wasn't Scott Raab (yet)....
Bin Laden's Death Means Something Or Other For The NFL Lockout, According To Some Shit Mike Florio Threw At The Wall
Osama Bin Laden is dead, and people are happy, but if we don't have professional football on 9/11, people will be super-sad. This is Mike Florio's argument today. I am not joking, and neither, that I can tell, is Florio....
Jackass Columnist Blames Pitcher For Choosing Childbirth Over Pitching
I'm not a local, so I don't know how much of Dallas Observer columnist Richie Whitt's schtick might be part of his on-air radio personality, but I'm still going to bring your attention to this gem of a column:...
Comatose Giants Fan Shouldn't Have Been Wearing A Giants Jersey, Writes Dumbass
Bryan Stow is the 42-year-old Giants fan who was beaten outside Dodger Stadium and who now lies in a medically induced coma. Stow was wearing a Giants jersey at the time of the attack. I'll let John Steigerwald, a columnist for the Observer-Reporter in Washington, Pa., and a former television anch...
The VCU Band Director Is Just As Buoyant In The Wild As He Is At The Games
A dedicated Deadspin reader, known around here as Malik Sealy Dirt Mattress, made it to San Antonio this weekend to see the finale to the Southwest Regional. Out on Saturday night, he and a friend spotted somewhat known-person Ryan Kopacsi, the gyrating director of the VCU pep band and — as Out Spor...
The VCU Pep Band Makes Its Director Gyrate Uncontrollably And Sometimes Strip
This is Ryan Kopacsi, director of the very-popular VCU pep band and also, apparently, a male model. He's known around the university and amongst pep band circles for his overenthusiastic dancing and for often removing his clothing during games. At VCU, this is apparently called "TTS," or Time To S...
Keeping "Keeping Things In Perspective" In Perspective: Hacky Sportswriting In Response To The Japanese Disaster
Every time some awful tragedy happens—natural disaster, terrorist attack, swine flu—a handful of idea-starved sports hacks sprint to their keyboards or their microphones and unfurl some drivel about how "this really puts sports in perspective."...
Bleacher Report Uses Japan Earthquake As Excuse For Sports Slideshow
"Japan Earthquake and Tsunami: The Worst Natural Disasters in Sports History." Seriously....
Band Geeks Break Out Rage Against The Machine, Are Cooler Than You
For the final home game of the year, the George Mason pep band busted out their "Killing In The Name Of"/"Bulls On Parade" medley. I bet the woodwinds got so much tail that night. [via DC Sports Bog]...
Last Night's Winner: Thundersnow And Communist China
Let us call it "Thundersnow" — a Norwegian black metal band of a winter menace, which deposited 18-20 inches of drifting white stuff across the Northeast, canceled football in Philadelphia, and emasculated America....
Batshit Hall Of Fame Voter: "I Compare PED Users To Murderers"
And we compare Lowell Cohn to a cymbal-banging monkey toy. I'm beginning to suspect HOF voters really do fancy themselves an elite task force of karacter kops. Drugs make people crazy. A Hall of Fame ballot makes people crazier. [PressDemocrat.com, Business Insider]...
Last Night's Winner: The Brett Favre Miracle
The following comprises actual phrases from actual stories written about a quarterback who last night performed the miracle of transfiguring his old ass off the injured list. These are taken verbatim....
CNN Inexplicably Airs <em>Dumb And Dumber</em> Diarrhea Scene
Right after a report on London student protests, there it was: Jeff Daniels loudly evacuating the contents of his bowels. Your move, FOX News....
Cranky Old Man Chides Everyone For Enjoying YouTube Clip
Frank Deford on that whimsical middle school trick play: "It wasn't genius at all; rather, it was a form of child abuse."...
Philadelphia Inquirer Writer Compares Phillies Loss To 1906 San Francisco Earthquake
"When it was over, the town was a charred, smoldering mess—a blackened patch of scorched earth that left the survivors shocked and shattered as they tried to figure out what happened and how to move forward."...
Mark Cuban Owes Don Johnson Several Million Dollars
It's no secret that Mark Cuban is involved in the entertainment business through his production company 2929 Entertainment. The company's been involved with a host of different projects, from the prestige-piece Good Night, and Good Luck, to, uh, to the Nash Bridges-esque....
God Gave Mark Dantonio A Heart Attack For Beating Notre Dame, Says Soon-To-Be-Suspended Radio Guy
We said it's time to let the MSU/ND game go. Matt Patrick, of a South Bend talk radio station, should probably have read us before he insinuated that God struck Dantonio down for cheating against the Catholics....
Oh Look, Someone Compared a South Carolina Win to 9/11 (Updated)
You gotta hand it to Doug Jolley of the illustrious GameCockAnthem.com. He captures what an early-season SEC loss must feel like....