baseball Page 386 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Moises Alou's Timing Leaves Much To Be Desired
As has been well documented, if Moises Alou, back in 2003, just slowly jogs away from the left-field wall, no one ever knows who Steve Bartman is, and people can go back to blaming Alex Gonzalez or Mark Prior or whomever they want to blame. (You know, people who actually played.) A few years ago, Al...

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking
You may remember, from a year and a half ago, Tigers pitcher Joel Zumaya being injured because of his addiction to Guitar Hero. (It happens. We understand.) Well, Zumaya, who is out until midseason, apparently has not lost the jones, as this recent Facebook picture attests....

Those Proofreading Cubbies
Up until this morning, this was what the new Ernie Banks statue looked like in front of Wrigley Field. Yes, they missed an apostrophe....

Pedro Hears A Pop
You didn't think Mets fans were going to stay happy and optimistic about the season very long, did you? Pedro Martinez pulled/tore/yoinked his hamstring/tendon/groin/anal fissure and very well might miss a few weeks. As if just to rub it in, new reliever Matt Wise gave up a walk-off homer to Robert ...

Pat Jordan, Canseco "Square Off" On Howard Stern
This morning, on The Howard Stern Show (a.k.a., the show you used to listen to all the time until either: a) he left for satellite radio, which you don't get; or b) he got divorced from his wife, draining the show of its subtle, mostly hidden pathos), Jose Canseco was a guest. And Pat Jordan, author...

Eric Gagne, A Still Life
Perhaps our favorite ridiculous conspiracy theory about the Mitchell Report was that Sen. Mitchell, a Red Sox fan, was somehow attempting to stack the deck by ignoring potential Red Sox juicers. Not just that, but he happened to nail the one guy Sox fans hated the most at the time: Eric Gagne. Well,...

She Has Yadier's Ass and Bengie's Hips
Are you a moderately attractive female baseball fan who loves her pink jersey, but dreams of a newer, sluttier look for your drunken summer afternoons in the bleachers? If so, then you should probably send me pictures of yourself in various stages of undress take note of Joe Sports Fan's rather bod...

Obviously, Tom Gordon Didn't Get His Balls Blessed
Yesterday morning, right in front of the Mike Schmidt statue at Citizens Bank Park, the Philadelphia Phillies had their balls blessed by a priest, a rabbi and a pastor with the hopes of giving 2007's team to beat an extra boost of godliness to kick off 2008. Well, God was napping yesterday, as the P...

Red Sox Fans, Spread Among The 100,000. What Could Go Wrong?
We really wish we would have attended the Red Sox-Dodgers exhibition game at the Coliseum last weekend, if just because a fight was inevitable....

Finding Harry Pujols
OK Brian Suksomwong, you've got some competition. Meet Harry Pujols — he's Albert's cousin — who is a graphic artist from San Francisco. OK, OK, simmer down, class. It's not nice to make fun of people's names. Although, Harry chose to call himself that; he could have gone with Harold but didn't....

Not Much Worse Than An Opening Day Rainout
While at the Cardinals bar yesterday for Opening Day — the one from the book — we sat through an hour-and-a-half Cardinals rain delay just to hear that a 5-1 third-inning lead had been wiped out. The Cardinals aren't going to have many four runs leads this year. So losing one yesterday was unpleasan...

Cubs Still Somehow Manage To Fukudome Themselves
It all looked good for the Cubs, thanks to the mighty bat of Kosuke Fukudome, who went 3-for-3 with the game-tying home run off the hairy useless mess that now inhabits former lights-out closer Eric Gagne. But the Cubs still lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 4-3 in 10 innings. Bobby Howry gave up a sacr...

Your AL Central "Preview"
All right, well, the season has supposedly started, though rain on Opening Day has to be some sort of cruel trick from God. So let's wrap up the last division....

The Nationals' New Stadium Looks Rather Spiffy
I've been to two new stadium opening days in my life — Safeco Field and Pac Bell (now AT&T) Park — but I wish I could have made it a third in D.C. on Sunday. There's nothing like that new-stadium smell; even the restrooms are minty fresh. Following the jump, a few photos from the Nationals' Opening...

Baseball Season Preview: St. Louis Cardinals
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is starting today....

It's Opening Day: Time To Hump A Chair
Anyway, kids, baseball is starting, in full force, like, right now. The first two games of the day are Toronto vs. the Yankees and Kansas City visited Detroit. (Easy there, Coach: The Rays don't play at Camden until 3 p.m. ET.) Our Cardinals are at 4:15 p.m. ET ... if it doesn't freaking rain....

President Bush's One Night Away From It All
President Bush is never more likable, engaging or, frankly, informed as he is when he's talking about baseball. He lights up, displaying a breadth of knowledge that, uh, we never sense when he's discussing the Al-Anbar Province. He threw out the first pitch at the new Nationals Stadium last night an...

Your NL East "Preview"
As mentioned in New York Magazine this week, the Mets have a promotional flyer that says "It's Time For A Little Revenge." As NY Mag pointed out ... hey, you're the ones who choked....

President Bush Would Never Associate With Such Unsavory Characters
The mainland Major League Baseball season kicks off Sunday night, with the Nationals opening their new stadium. President Bush is slated to throw out the first pitch. Usually, he throws it to the home team's starting catcher. Unfortunately for him, this year the home team starting catcher is all ov...

Um, Someone Tell The Italian Sausage That He's Doing It Wrong
Hey, they told me that there would be no food allowed on the ski lift. Thank you Home Run Derby, for making us laugh at costumed baseball mascots attempting winter sports once again....