baseball Page 465 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

When You're Talking Sex, You're Talking Enron Field
On Sunday, the Houston Astros shutout the Texas Rangers 5-0 in Houston, securing a series win over their in-state rivals. To celebrate, a Houston policeman at the game decided to have sex with two women. Makes sense!...

Why Matt Drudge Shouldn't Be Allowed To "Write" About Sports
Last night, at about 11 p.m., we started receiving emails about a supposed interview the Drudge Report had linked, stating that Barry Bonds had claimed not only would he pass Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron, but also Japanese slugger Sadaharu Oh. That's the headline right there. We followed the link to W...

Mariotti Now Universally Acclaimed As Lazy, Slobbish, Gassy
It's tough to decide whom to dislike more: White Sox catcher AJ Pierzynski or Chicago Sun-Times and "Around The Horn" gasbag Jay Mariotti. Particularly if you're a Cubs fan. After the big interleague tussle last weekend, Pierzynski was on "Pardon The Interruption" yesterday and went after Mariotti...

A Ball Just Doesn't Go As Far As It Used To
It's official: Barry's balls are shrinking. Um, we mean the worth of Barry's balls is ... no. What we mean to say is, oh forget it. Let's start over. Baseball collector and comic book artist Todd McFarlane is not as interested in Barry's balls as he once was ... Dammit!...

Two Bald Guys, Ruling Everything
Pity the poor parents of anyone who might have been featured on ESPN's coverage of track and field yesterday; we imagine them readying to watch their dear child heave the shot put or hoist a javelin, years of support and pride and sweat finally being showcased on national television ... and then, ...

Many Japanese Baseball People Screaming
Someone sent us this "video" that appears to be a commercial for a Japanese baseball ... something. We have no idea what it's about, what's going on, or what it means ... but we do know that we are truly philosophically scarred by the whole thing....

The Pain Of Life As A Royals Fan
We watched all three Cardinals-Royals games over the weekend, on the Royals television affiliate — which had a charming, low rent, public access, Wayne's World feel — and we can say with as much certainty as we can muster that the Royals are the worst team we've seen in a long, long time. It's not...

The David Wells Mad Lib
Obviously, David Wells — as evidenced by his appearance on the waiver wire in just about every fantasy league we're in — is much more useful as a quote machine these days than as an actual baseball player. And he's never more amusing than when he's being edited to suit the taste of the delicate ne...

Checking In On The Bonds Contest
We're going to get into tonight's Cardinals-Giants, Bonds-Pujols matchup a little later today, but we thought the time was right to remind you of our Barry Bonds home run challenge, which encouraged you, nearly a month ago now, to predict which pitcher would give up the homer that passed Babe Ruth...

The Closer: Mr. Met Kicks Some Cross-Town Booty
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Hey, It's Rivalry Week!
Ah, to be a Yankees fan at Shea Stadium. It's a good thing that someone is rudely making rabbit ears behind this kids' head, or else he'd surely be clocked by the other kid with the miniature bat. We're not sure what to think of interleague play. On one hand, a game between the Mets and Yankees th...

Hey, Kids, Let's Play Nintendo!
Thanks to SporTech Matter for this beauty of a find: It's the actual original 1987 television commercial for RBI Baseball, the Nintendo game that we (and, we suspect, the majority of you) spent most our youth playing until we were yelled at to go to bed....

Roger Gets The Jordan Treatment
You know, it just wouldn't be the Internet without Roger Clemens steroids rumors. It's like they make the place whole....

Daily Closer: You're A Good Man, Kerry Wood
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Do Not Call This Man Joey
It is good to see that everybody's favorite Happy Rainbow Unicorn Albert Belle is keeping himself busy in retirement....

Yeah, This Guy's Brando
So here's the deal: You're a college baseball player, and you need to get on base to get a rally started. There's an inside pitch, and it's somewhat close to you ... so you make the questionable decision to pretend that it hit you....

Julio Franco's Career, In Pixels
How long has Mets octogeniarian Julio Franco been around? So long that his career actually spans the whole era of video game baseball. From the Atari 2600 to Bases Loaded to MLB 06, Franco has been around for all of it. The great minds at Progressive Boink — those responsible for the genius that i...