The Closer: The Curse Of Junipero Serra

Notes from a day in baseball:

• 1. No No-No At Petco. It's a streak of Cubsian proportions. And the amazing thing is that Steve Bartman isn't involved; nor even a goat. The San Diego Padres have gone 5,919 games — their entire history — without a no-hitter. That's 38-plus seasons, folks. (The Mets also haven't thrown one, even more amusingly.) Amazing, since such NL stalwart hurlers as Don Nottebart (Astros), Ed Halicki (Giants) and Tommy Greene (Phillies) have managed to throw one over the years. On Tuesday, the Padres' Chris Young flirted with history, but his no-hit bid was broken up in the eighth inning when the Rockies' Brad Hawpe (who played against Young in high school, by the way) led off with a double. The Padres won 2-0. And the streak continues.

• 2. Attention: We Will Now Discuss The Florida Marlins. Has anyone noticed that Miguel Cabrera is a baaad motha (shut yo mouth!). Or as Marlins manager Joe Girardi puts it: "A hitting machine." Hard to argue, after Cabrera had a three-run home run and a run-scoring double to lead the Game Fish to a 5-3 victory over the Giants. Cabrera leads the NL in hitting at .346.

Rest of The Closer after the jump.

• 3. A Hunk-a Hunk-a Vernon Wells. Used to be that we couldn't hear the name Vernon Wells without thinking of 19th century science fiction. Now it's synonymous with home runs; Wells leading a dinger-fest on Tuesday with three homers — and teammate Troy Glaus had two — to lead the Blue Jays over the Red Sox 8-5. Josh Beckett (7-2) gave up four of them; two to each. If you want to learn more about Vernon Wells — and of what disturbing obsession the mind is capable of — check out this blog.

• 4. Philadelphia Story. Always nice to see a pitcher who came up through your own organization thrive and become your ace, as apparently is the case with Brett Myers of the Phillies. Myers went eight strong innings and Bobby Abreu had a three-run home run to lead Philadelphia over the Nationals 4-2.

• 5. Back, Back, Back, Back, Back. It may have been a wind-blown grand slam, but Brad Wilkerson isn't going to question it. Wilkerson's fourth career grand salami helped the Rangers hand the Mariners their sixth straight loss, 6-4.