bo Page 941 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while choreographing the greatest performance in the history of the Phillipine penal system's talent show... • MLB: The Yankees got their asses kicked by Tampa. The Bronx may actually be burning. • Golf: The preening Spaniard Sergio Garcia is still leading at the Open Championship ma...
Bonds Might Do This This Weekend
After his two home runs yesterday, everybody's favorite beacon of light Barry Bonds is just two home runs away from tying Hank Aaron. Perhaps you've heard about this. He's got three games in Bud Selig's hometown of Milwaukee to go for it this weekend, and then comes home for a week. It's possible he...
Who's the Next MLB Player To Bang Alyssa Milano?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think.)...
We're Guess Jack Daniels Will Cost About 12 Bucks
Good news! If Tampa Bay Buccaneers get confused by the 73 quarterbacks they'll have on their team this year, they will be able to douse their pain with the sweet nectar of hard liquor....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while purchasing donut-flavored ice cream ... • MLB: Tigers' revenge ... Twins get swept. That'll teach 'em. • Soccer: You know what I always say ... it's not really a soccer brawl until someone gets tasered. • Golf: An Irishman is in danger of winning the British Open for the first ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while reading Strunk & White's Elements of Style ... • MLB: He owes it all to clean living ... Griffey collects 2,500th hit, Reds win. • Tennis: Marat Safin advances at ATP Countrywide Classic. Very nice! • Golf: Tiger, Choi first to top of leaderboard at British Open. But it's raini...
Tony Romo's Heart Will Go On
Ladies, it's useless to resist; the smooth musical stylings of Tony Romo are destined to capture your heart. The American Century Celebrity Golf Tournament is over, but left behind is this treasured memento, taken at the Center Stage Club at Harrah's Lake Tahoe on Saturday night. I will not rest un...
The Red Sox Sewing Circle Now Officially Includes Simmons
We don't quite understand all the weird little in-jokes and politics of Boston Red Sox baseball, and, for this, we find ourselves rather fortunate. So maybe a Sox fan can translate this for us, because, apparently, NESN broadcaster Jerry Remy ripped into The Sports Feller on the Boston broadcast las...
About Last Night ...
What you missed during your shocking slapfest ... • MLB: All hail El Duque, stealer of bases, and of our hearts! Mets 7, Padres 0. • Tour de France: Top o' the world, ma! Juan Mauricio Soler pedals nimbly through the Alps. • Pan Am Games: OK, question. If I e-mailed Shawn Johnson to congratulate her...
Tommy Morrison Is A Deep Thinker
One would think "boxer" Tommy Morrison's constant claims that AIDS is "an invented virus" making money for the drug industry, and that "heterosexuals can't transmit the virus" would inspire people to stop taking him seriously and no longer listen to him. That hasn't worked, but maybe his new enlight...
Please Do Not Run Over The Man In The Enormous Thong
If you think the Tour de France is boring, well, you're obviously missing the regular appearances from Borat. We hear they're making a new version of "American Gladiators." We're going to have to insist they all wear this swimsuit....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while solemnly disposing of all your John Gilmore III Presidential campaign posters ... • MLB: Griffey hits No. 587 ... take that, Frank Robinson. • Tennis: Federer, Nadal on collision course again. • Softball: It's the year of the Cat ... U.S, wins World Cup....
Teach The Children Skills They Can Use
Say what you will, man, but it certainly seems to us that there's a lot of children being left behind. Kids just aren't getting the education they need; our school system is helplessly flawed. Thankfully, one man stands bravely ahead of the pack, doing what he can to teach the youth the skills they ...
The Matchup You've Waited For: Bonds Vs. Laundry Cart
We take you now to the Giants' clubhouse at Dodger Stadium, where Barry Bonds has a few words about his second straight 0-for-5 performance in a 5-3 loss to the Dodgers: "It's an embarrassment for me to be wearing this (expletive deleted) uniform 'cause of the way I'm playing. There, that's it. Now ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while playing the saxophone for relaxation ... • MLB: Phillies reach the 10,000 level. • Motor Sports: Hamlin gets whacked at Chicagoland. • Tennis: Russia beats U.S. in Fed Cup, will now focus on defeating Moose and Squirrel ......
Lefty Loses The Scottish Open In Style
I don't follow golf. Never have, only will when I'm older and need a good way to hide from my goddamn wife and kids who won't stop bugging me to take them to the fucking movie theatre to see some shitty ass flick that probably stars Hillary Duff....
"I Love It When You One, Two Punch"
And in other boxing news, Roy Jones Jr. won a 12-round, unanimous decision against previously undefeated Anthony Hanshaw last night. Here's to hoping Roy raps about it....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while roasting your pig and garage ... • Boxing: Arturo Gatti retires after taking a "Contender" Gomez beating. • MLB: Glavine joins the historic 298-win club as Mets edge Reds. • FIFA U-20 World Cup: America, fuck no! Austria upsets the US 2-1....