boo Page 85 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Blotto Teenage Brewers Fan Soils Himself And Falls Down Stairs At Miller Park
A few years back, the New York Times had a piece about Wisconsin's drinking problem. "When it comes to drinking, it seems, no state keeps pace with Wisconsin," they wrote. It was bad, they said, in large part because Wisconsin bars and restaurants allow minors to drink in the presence of parents o...

Here's Video Of The Elusive Great Adventure Baboon Getting Caged And Returned To Captivity
A guy named Peter Kong is narrating this New York Post video about the end of the Great Adventure baboon's three-day reign of terror across New Jersey. He's been waiting for this day his whole damn life. Deliver the goods, Kong! (Raw, Kong-less video here can be found here.)...

THE ELUSIVE GREAT ADVENTURE BABOON HAS BEEN CAPTURED! NEW JERSEY IS SAFE!
The Star-Ledger and others are reporting that a runaway baboon from the Six Flags amusement-park safari in Jackson, NJ was tranquilized and taken into custody around 2:40 p.m. after three days on the lam....

Here's A Picture Of The Time Those Purple, Courtside Uggs From Miami Reappeared In All Their Glory
Tipster Josh has a story to share. So, listen up:...

Oh Look, There Was Another Brawl At The D.C. Caribbean Carnival (Somewhat NSFW)
As opposed to the video posted, like, an hour ago, this brawl does not involve calls for titties. Rather, this "cArabian festival" footage drives home the point that, "If you're not on Howard University right now, you're not doing nothing." Fair enough....

Your Long, Painful Wait For Another Street-Festival Brawl Video Has Now Come To An End
What's left unsaid in this footage from a minor dust-up at last weekend's DC Caribbean Carnival — or as the uploader titled it, "caribian fest day 2" — is the cause. What's not left unsaid is that at least two observer deeply, genuinely "wanna see some titties, want some titties. Titties. Titties!...

We've Found The Lass Responsible For The Lone Amstel Light On The Bruins' $156,000 Bar Tab
When the Bruins threw down with an epic body count at their Stanley Cup celebrations at Foxwoods, the world was drawn not to the six-figure bottle of champagne: Armand de Brignac is so played out. Instead it was the solo Amstel Light, a beacon of moderation and taste in a storm of crapulence. ...

ESPN Book To Become Future Major Motion Picture About Bristol Guys Having Fun
According to an insider from one of the major talent agencies, Hollywood has expressed significant interest in turning the Miller/Shales oral history of ESPN into a blockbuster movie. It's in the very early stages but, according to our source, one lucky studio will make a major financial investment...

Drunk Ohio Teacher Resists Arrest, Sprays Cops With Her Breastmilk
We're not sure we know the precise meaning of the term "hot mess," but this just has to be the perfect application. Meet Stephanie Robinette, 30, a lactating charter-school teacher from Westerville, Ohio (a Columbus suburb), who got drunk, disorderly, and weird over the weekend....

The Search For The Pisswater-Drinking Boston Bruin Is On
On the Bruins' epic bar tab from Foxwoods, there lies a lone Amstel Light. Who ordered it? Why? The world may never know. But Amstel is offering that player free beer if he steps forward....

American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....

Tennis Player Simona Halep Was Unhappy With Her Breasts
Serena Williams won her second round match against Simona Halep 3-6, 6-2, 6-1 yesterday. Afterward, the 19-year-old Halep spoke about her breasts, namely the decision to have them reduced....

These Two Guys Would've Gotten Away With Busting Into Coors Field If It Wasn't For A Pesky Security Guard
Your morning roundup for June 19, the day some sexy finally came out of the Vancouver riots (it starts at 0:45 of this video), and the day we all wish a Happy Father's Day to the appropriate person in our lives....

ESPN Book Gets Snubbed On Regis Show; Annoyed Co-Author Blames Michelle Beadle
Despite the fact that there's been no public disciplinary fallout from Michelle Beadle's nasty comments about Erin Andrews last month, it appears Beadle's trying to distance herself from "Those Guys Have All The Fun," according to co-author Tom Shales. Shales, whose longtime gig as a TV critic resul...

Ladies Day At "The Queen's Favourite Racing Event" Featured Brawls, Call Girls, Face Tattoos And £98 Bottles Of Champagne
Yesterday was Gold Cup Day at the Royal Ascot, traditionally the "highlight of the summer calendar for the well-off and well-connected" in Berkshire, U.K. But according to a report in the Daily Mail, the well-off and well-connected vibe has devolved into something resembling the ass-end of a NASCAR...

The Boob-Showcasing Ukulele Girl Said She'd Return With An Encore If She Got 50K Hits, So Return She Has
When Sarah K. first solicited your assistance back in April, it was in an effort to win $10,000 from some freakish marketing contest in New Zealand. Something called Hitachi, or something....

Women Of The German National Soccer Team Endeavor To Show They Are Not "Butch" By Posing For <i>Playboy</i>
This may or may not be a good thing for women's sports:...

My Lunches With Costas: A Series Of Frank Encounters With The Journalist And Shill (UPDATE)
The following is adapted from Lipsyte's new memoir, An Accidental Sportswriter, now available on Amazon....

Hungover Portlanders Rise From Their Organic Granola To Respond To Us
Here's Stumptown Footy's full post. To which we say: dude....

Portland Fans Are Too Hung Over To Cheer Properly
The surest sign that it was a good idea to give Portland an MLS franchise: their fans already have a collective drinking problem. The supporters group is turning teetotaler to keep from embarrassing itself again....