bu Page 367 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Burger King, And <em>Only</em> Burger King, Wants To Be Canadian
Burger King Worldwide Inc., a chain of over 13,000 sad, ignored, tumbleweed-strewn burger graveyards in 79 countries around the world, has agreed to fork over around $11 billion to purchase Canadian donuts-and-breakfast chain Tim Hortons Inc., giving the new combined company ownership of exactly...
Dance Team's Pop Gun Hazing Incident Goes Horribly Wrong
A very successful dance coach with the Cannon Falls, Minnesota school district lost her job on August 25 due to a team-building/hazing activity she organized....
Madison Bumgarner And His Fastball Are Unstoppable
Last night, Madison Bumgarner was about as perfect as one can be without actually pitching a perfect game. In nine innings against the suck-ass Rockies, Bumgarner allowed one hit and struck out 13 batters while throwing just 103 pitches. And he did it by adhering to a very simple formula: Throw a ...
15-Year-Old Catherine Bellis Upsets 12-Seed At U.S. Open
Catherine Bellis turned 15 years old in April and sits at 1,208 on the WTA's rankings. At the start of the day, her career record as a pro in singles matches was 8-4. That record has improved to 9-4, as Bellis just finished off 12-seeded Dominka Cibulkova in a first-round match at the U.S. Open. ...
Patriots Trade Logan Mankins To Bucs For Pick, Ex-Rutgers Player
The Patriots have agreed to a trade. It does not involve Ryan Mallett....
The Bucknell Football Team Takes The Best Profile Pictures
The Bucknell Bison roster page is a treasure trove of goofy profile pictures. In what has to be a concerted effort to have the weirdest looking team, players posed with wacky faces, bizarre facial and top-of-the-head hair, and People's Eyebrows. It's great fun....
Little Girl Gives No Shits, Runs In Front Of Stephen Strasburg's Warmup
Stephen Strasburg's warmup session came to an abrupt halt yesterday when a girl involved in the Nats' pregame ceremonies chose to run right between the pitcher's mound and home plate. Wheee!...
<em>FIFA Weekly's</em> Sepp Blatter Profile Is A Marvel Of Propaganda
This week's edition of FIFA Weekly, a magazine that exists, for some reason, contains a short profile of FIFA president Sepp Blatter. It is one of the most rank and shameless pieces of propaganda ever committed to print. ...
Bayer Leverkusen Scores On Borussia Dortmund Nine Seconds Into Match
Karim Bellarabi set a new Bundesliga record when he scored the opening goal of Borussia Dortmund-Bayer Leverkusen just nine seconds into those teams' league season....
Must Be In The Front Row...
…and "Down in font," and "He missed the tag." The lines from this ad were high comedy to this teenager and his friends when it came out. ...
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Pittsburgh Steelers
Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Here's Video Of Mike Evans Fighting With Nightclub Bouncers
There's also a butt....
Actually, You Can't Throw A Pie At Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke's Face
Earlier this week, we told you that Harvey Updyke, who poisoned the famous Toomer's Corner oak trees at Auburn, was scheduled to appear at a charity event in Alabama, where paying customers could soak him in a dunk tank or throw a pie at his face....
Steelers Running Back Isaac Redman Ends NFL Career Due To Injury
The Pittsburgh Steelers waived running back Isaac Redman in October of last season after then-rookie Le'Veon Bell popped up as a more effective option. (Bell's now dealing with a different problem.) Redman didn't sign with another team after his release, but today, he said he never healed from an in...
Complaint: Le'Veon Bell Had No Idea He Could Get A DUI For Weed
WPXI in Pittsburgh has obtained and released part of the criminal complaint for Wednesday arrest of Steelers running backs Le'Veon Bell and LeGarrette Blount in Ross Township, outside of Pittsburgh. Yesterday, just before they played in a preseason game against the Eagles, the two were formally char...
Not As Many People Want To Eat Jell-O Anymore, I Guess
Sit down. Maybe you should sit down for this. Please sit down. Are you sitting? Hey, no, that's Grandpa's chair. Somewhere else. Sit. Roll over. (Ha, little joke there.) No, just, would you please take a seat. Thank you. And brace yourself....
Bills Halt Practice After Second Straight Day Of Fights
We've reached that part of camp: when players are sick of wearing pads each day, doing drills in the heat, rooming with teammates and seeing each other's dumb faces every damn moment of every damn day. Scuffles broke out for a second straight day at Bills camp, leading coach Doug Marrone to brin...
Snoop Dogg On Steelers OC Todd Haley: "Fire That Motherfucker"
Snoop Dogg, never one to be shy about his sports takes, has set his sights on Pittsburgh Steelers offensive coordinator Todd "The Todd" Haley. The Steelers lost to the Eagles tonight 31-21 and Snoop was not having any of it. He went on a motherfucking tirade about Haley and posted it to Instagram....
Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Will Let You Throw A Pie At His Face
Harvey Updyke, best known for poisoning Auburn's famous oak trees at Toomer's Corner in 2010, will be giving Tigers fans a chance at revenge. ...
Giants Protest Rain-Shortened Loss, Win First Appeal In MLB Since 1986
This is neat. Thanks to the tarp shenanigans at Wrigley Field Tuesday night, the Giants-Cubs game was called after a four-hour and 34-minute delay. With four-and-a-half innings in the books and the field an unplayable mess, crew chief Hunter Wendelstedt called the game, and awarded the Cubs a 2-0 wi...