bu Page 379 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Do Most College Football Kickers Suck? Chris Kluwe Explains.
So Drew asked me to fill in for him on this week's Funbag, because apparently as an unemployed former punter I'm supposed to have oodles of free time to do his job while he goes off and teaches his kids how to cook meth with his neighbor Chad, or whatever the fuck it is parenting entails in Yonkers....
The Pirates And Reds Hit All The Home Runs
The Bucs and Reds combined for 10 home runs in just six innings, before being suspended due to rain. Here are all 10 of them, hit to dwindling crowds, increasing rain, and—because it was Cincinnati's "Bark in the Park" promotion—presumably a growing stench of wet dog fur....
Don't Tell Joakim Noah It's Snowing Again
It snowed across much of the Midwest last night, including in Chicago, where reporters had to break the news to Joakim Noah just as he was enthusing over the delightful spring weather. We are all Joakim Noah....
Bubba Watson Went To Waffle House To Celebrate His Masters Win
Bubba Watson, everyone's favorite Southern chillbro golfer, won his second Masters in three years yesterday, and he celebrated the achievement exactly as you would expect him to. After claiming his second green jacket, Watson and his crew made a late-night Waffle House run, because Waffle House is a...
Justin Johnson Fights The Much Larger John Scott, And Wins
I went to a couple of Manchester Monarchs games while Justin Johnson was on the AHL squad. He was proficient at pummeling dudes, racking up 11 points and 392 penalty minutes in 103 games with Manchester. The Islanders called him up from the Bridgeport Sound Tigers this season, presumably to do simil...
That Isn't George Bush, Sir
Jaguars safety Johnathan Cyprien, that is not George W. Bush. If you were cracking a joke, then it's pretty funny. But that's not actually George W. Bush, or his father, George H.W. Bush. It's just some different white guy with beady eyes....
Penguins Fan Says He Was Booted For Pierre McGuire Sign
Penguins superfan Cy Clark alleges he was kicked out of yesterday's game because of his sign of Pierre McGuire's noggin, with "REGIS" stamped on the forehead. (McGuire's real first name is Regis. Now you know!) Others say there's more to the story....
Fan Gives David West A Solid Slap On The Butt
Pacers forward David West has eight points at halftime in Thunder-Pacers. One fan showed her support in the form of a butt slap. We'll see if he lights it up in the second half, now....
Minnesota Wins Frozen Four Semifinal With Buzzer-Beating Goal
While this year's NCAA basketball tournament left us mostly in want of buzzer-beaters, the NCAA hockey Frozen Four delivered as Minnesota's Justin Holl scored a shorthanded buzzer-beater past North Dakota goalie Zane Gothberg and delivered the Golden Gophers into the national championship game....
If This Is How MLB's New Home-Plate Rule Will Be Applied, We Hate It [Update]
In the fourth inning of today's Pirates-Cubs game, even the WGN announcers were incredulous that Starlin Castro was ruled safe on this play at the plate. It turned out to be the first questionable use of a new MLB rule meant to crack down on collisions at the plate....
The UFC Has A Human Rights Problem
One curious fact about the UFC of which a lot of people aren't aware is that the repressive government of Abu Dhabi owns a substantial minority stake in it. With the promotion staging a fight card there tomorrow, Bloody Elbow's Brent Brookhouse rightly figured it would be a good time to remind fans ...
Here's A Bunch Of ESPN Personalities Reciting The Gettysburg Address
You're probably wondering why the hell this exists. Well, it appears that Ken Burns is working on a documentary about the Gettysburg Address, and this is some kind of promo clip for it. ...
Pacers Bench All Five Starters, Still Beat Bucks
When Pacers coach Frank Vogel announced he would sit all five starters for last night's game against the Bucks, it was like a thought experiment come to life. Can a good team's second unit beat the starters of a historically awful team? It was close, but...yes!...
Marc-Andre Fleury Makes An Unreal, Tumbling Shootout Save
Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury had a brilliant save in tonight's shootout against the Red Wings, rolling right and stretching his glove out just in time to catch Daniel Alfredsson's backhand attempt. The effort was impressive as hell....
Bitchy Pats Fans Harass Brandon Spikes After He Talks About Winning
Linebacker Brandon Spikes left the Patriots after four seasons to sign with the Buffalo Bills. New England didn't seem to want him back, and the parting seemed amicable. But that won't stop some Patriots fans from overreacting when Spikes talked about beating the Patriots today in the most boring wa...
The Braves Set The American Flag On Fire At Their Home Opener
The Braves really fucked up, you guys. During yesterday's home opener against the Mets, they set off a fireworks display way, way too close to the American flag. You are not supposed to put flames that close to the American flag, Braves!...
Pitbull And J. Lo Team Up For The Official 2014 World Cup Anthem
Here it is, the song that you are going to be so damn sick and tired of hearing by the time the 2014 World Cup is over. Wrap your ears around Pitbull and J. Lo's "We Are One (Ole Ola)."...
Havana's Son
Slide on over to Victory Journal and dig into Brin-Jonathan Butler's story on our man El Duque (lavishly illustrated by Mickey Duzjj)....
Christian Ehrhoff Tweets Photos Of His Ear After A Puck Slices It Open
Christian Ehrhoff of the Sabres doesn't understand the concept of oversharing, because he tweeted a few photos of his ear after a puck cut it open tonight in Buffalo's game against the Flyers....