Ballin'-Ass Steve Ballmer And His Dead Eyes Are Here To Frighten You

New Clippers owner Steve Ballmer is the subject of Bloomberg Businessweek's latest cover story, and oh my God, what in the hell is going on with this cover?

So we've got slack-jawed, dead-eyed Steve Ballmer staring off into the middle distance like he's just had his frontal lobe removed in a hasty and unsanctioned operation. And then we have those blur marks, which seem to suggest that his inert, pasty ass is moving at a very high speed toward ... something. He looks like a human piece of space debris, just hurtling through the cosmos, waiting to get burned up by a solar flare.

Cool arm sleeve, though.