bu Page 564 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
UFC 101: Beating Pipes, Disgusting Bloggers And Gerard Butler's Furiously Shaken Pud
By now you know that Mola Ram Anderson Silva ripped out Forrest Griffin's heart and flambéed it before 17,500 fans in Philadelphia. What you (hopefully) do not know is this: Gerard Butler plays with his haggis at the urinal....
Combative Deadspin HOF Nominee Returns To Dying Industry Out Of Spite
So the rumor was true, I guess. Brooks has some sort of confirmation of the deal, apparently. [SBB]...
Not A Game, We Talking 'Bout Malpractice
Tebucky Jones plans to sue New England's team doctors for misdiagnosing his injuries and ending his career. The Mets' class-action suit is still collecting plaintiffs. [NESN]...
The Tao Of Mutton Bustin'
12-year-old Trysta espouses her wisdom: "I just tried to hold on to the sheep like it was a pillow."(Photo by Chris Dunker)[The Beatrice Daily Sun]...
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Stephon Marbury
There is always a danger, when documenting the cascading madness of a public figure, that they will someday snap, clouding all your previous coverage in tragedy....
This Is A Future NFL Linebacker
How did Bengals tight end Chase Coffman develop his "legendary" toughness? You guessed it ... mutton bustin'. [Bengals.com; pic via]...
The Buick Open Was HQ For Grand Theft: Golf Cart
Suburban Michigan: not known for its public transportation. If you're a teenager without a car who biked all the way to the Buick Open, you're probably in no mood to pedal all the way home. Solution: steal a golf cart!...
Hardline Twitter Memo Makes ESPN Employees Hilariously Paranoid
ESPN NBA writer Ric Bucher set the World Wide Leader's legion of writers, editors, and on-air personalities with raging Twitter habits into a collective shit-tizzy with one of his updates. Now, a revolution is afoot! Not really....
Sandra Bullock Will Ride Michael Oher To Oscar Glory
For those in the dark, this is the movie version of Michael Lewis' book about Baltimore's No. 1 draft pick Michael Oher, a hulking black kid who was taken into the loving embrace of a lily white family in rural Mississippi after they found him bleeding and hungry on the side of the road. The fact th...
Plaxico Burress Indicted, Antonio Pierce Isn't
File this under things we would have posted yesterday, if we could have. There's a very high probability that Plaxico Burress is going to jail for accidentally shooting himself in the leg. [NYTimes]...
Penguins Fans Crashes Stanley Cup Celebration
Have you ever dreamed of being on the ice with your favorite team as they hoist Stanley Cup, then heading back to the locker room for a champagne bath with your heroes? Go ahead! NHL security obviously won't stop you....
Crosby's Still Single; Perhaps You Can Have Both
A Pittsburgh-area man has offered what clearly was once an engagement ring in exchange for $1000 in cash, or $1500 worth of Penguins tickets. Sorry, you lovelorn schmoes in the nosebleeds, they "must be good seats." [craigslist, via Slanch Report]...
Andrea Peyser Shocked By Arrogant Athlete Tweets
Hah, just like how Moe and I are editing Deadspin today, the New York Post today let outrage queen columnist and sex goddess Andrea Peyser write a sports column! Sort of....
Whither Mutton Bustin'? How the Culture of Self-Esteem Is Ruining An American Tradition
We can all agree that Mutton Bustin' is a good thing. But are liberal parents threatening the sanctity of this fundamentally American rite of passage? Yes. They are....
The Patriotism Of "Mutton-Bustin'": The Young Men In The Arena Clinging Bravely To Our Last Chance At Global Competitiveness
Long before they became known as beacons of transgender pride and abortion on demand the great Republican Teddy Roosevelt observed the nation's cities to be poor places to raise children, because "most good games are against the law."...
Breaking: The World Is a Magical, Wonderful Place, and Bucco Bruce Is Back
This year the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will once again wear the most garish and weird shade of salmon/orange, and Orlando Bloom will again intimidate opponents from their ridiculous helmets. Feel the magic!...
The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....
Finally, a No-Hassle Way to Receive Semen From a Dude That Looks Like This
What mother wouldn't want a puffy, bloated, thick-necked bouncing baby boy? Thanks to a sperm bank in Los Angeles, you can make your dream of birthing Ben Roethlisberger's baby without sleeping with Ben Roethlisberger come true....
MLB Deadline Deals: Everyone Must Go
Victor Martinez to Boston, Peavy to White Sox (coughshoulderinjurycough) Washburn to Tigers (huzzah!), Orlando Cabrera to Minnesota, Scott Rolen to the Reds for some unknown reason, and Roy Halladay isn't going anywhere. Was it good for you too? [MLB.com]...
Starbury's Figurative Train Wreck Becomes A Literal Car Crash
We knew they shouldn't have let him outside. At the 1:45 mark, Stephon's car appears to jump the curb, or maybe run over an old lady. But "don't worry about it. It ain't nothin' but the Devil." [H/T reader Brian]...