canada Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
"Drunken Stupors": A Crack-Smokin' Rob Ford Music Video
Rob Ford admitted today to smoking crack in one of his "drunken stupors." He said it with such rhythm and panache that we turned it into a stupid song....
<em>Hockey Night In Canada</em> Intro Set To Arcade Fire Is Most Canadian Thing
Hockey Night In Canada openings are always quality stuff—this one stands out. Tonight's intro used "Reflektor" by Montreal-based Arcade Fire. It's weird in an awesome way....
Less Awesome Map: The Provinces Of Canada, By Regional Sport
A reply to "Awesome Map: The United States Of America, By Regional Sport," by Carrie Hunt and the Spoonerisms....
High School Football Player Runs Over Entire Defense For 50-Yard TD
This is what happens when a defense made up entirely of kids who can't tackle try to take on a running back who has a little Bo Jackson in him. ...
Half-Marathoner Takes Wrong Turn, Wins Marathon
Meredith Fitzmaurice had never run a full marathon in her life. She'd never run more than 20 miles. But she was working up to it, and hoped to use Sunday's half-marathon in Amherstburg, Ontario, as a tuneup. ...
Chris Andersen Allegedly Victimized In Elaborate Catfishing Scheme
Holy shit. We thought that the Internet Crimes Against Children's investigation of Chris Andersen was put to rest when his attorneys revealed to the Denver Post that Andersen had been extorted by the mother of an underage California woman who had a relationship with Andersen. Now, Andersen's attorne...
Satirical Soccer Story Suckers Stupids
This weekend, CBC radio program This Is That broadcast a report on a Canadian youth soccer association that removed the ball from games to promote better sportsmanship. It was filled with delightful quotes like this one:...
Here's Video Of A Man Swallowing A Human Toe
The Downtown Hotel, in Dawson City, Yukon, has a tradition. For $5, patrons can order the Sourtoe Cocktail, a shot of whiskey containing a severed, preserved human toe. You must let the toe touch your lips. You must not swallow the toe, on pain of a $500 fine. On Saturday, a man swallowed the toe....
Hockey Player Serves Ice Cream To Rob Ford. Rob Ford Is Pleased.
Look at how excited he is!...
Kung-Fu Karaoke Dad Stars In The Most Canadian Video Ever Made
This could only be more Canadian if he were riding a goddamn caribou. From YouTube user Ryan Doucette:...
Justin Bieber Fans Are Interfering With The NHLPA Meetings
The NHL players' union is currently holding its annual meetings in Chicago, and they are being torpedoed by a horde of screaming Justin Bieber fans. Well, at least that's how Minnesota Wild center Zenon Konopka sees it....
Canada Loses To Martinique, Which Isn't A Country And Isn't In FIFA
Those scrappy Canadians hung in for a long while, keeping the match scoreless into injury time despite being clearly outmatched by soccer giants Martinique. But Les Matinino finally broke through in the 93rd minute, with this rip-roaring goal from Fabrice Reuperne in the opening match of the Gold Cu...
Arencibia's Pleasant Retorts Are Canada's Version Of Shit-Talk
When Blue Jays catcher J.P. Arencibia heard the media criticism in Toronto, he had two choices. He could bear the slings and arrows in silence, or he could stand up take the fight right back to 'em. The 27-year-old opted for the latter, and did so in a most Canadian fashion: respectfully dispute his...
The CBC Put A Bow On The NHL Season With This Excellent Montage
Throughout the Stanley Cup playoffs, the CBC’s Hockey Night In Canada has been doing fantastic work producing pregame videos (this one is my personal favorite), and last night the show ended its coverage with an excellent montage spanning all of this year’s playoff action. You might want to look aw...
Quebec Soccer Reverses Moronic Turban Ban At FIFA's Nudging
The Quebec Soccer Federation on Saturday morning announced it's going to align with a ruling FIFA made two days earlier and allow Sikh men to wear religiously prescribed turbans on the soccer pitch. The federation also expressed regret that its ban on turbans was seen as racist, saying it was only m...
<em>Hockey Night In Canada's</em> Pregame Video From Last Night Is Tremendous
I'm a sucker for a well-produced pregame video. A few nicely timed cuts here, a couple of dramatic gazes there, and a haunting score to tie it all together can make me feel like I'm about to watch the most important sporting event history (I'm pretty sure I have watched this one more than a dozen t...
Rob Ford Got A Football-Themed Cake For His Birthday
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who has smoked crack cocaine, is celebrating his 44th birthday today. His staff brought him the lovely cake you see above, because crack-smoking Rob Ford still celebrates his birthday like a nine-year-old boy. Maybe he'll get to eat that cake in his race car bed tonight....
Singer Of National Anthem Forgets Words, Powers Ahead Anyhow
Listening to this instantly immortal rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner," I'm reminded of Kevin Kline's character in "A Fish Called Wanda," who after receiving any sort of instruction always had to ask, "What was the part in the middle?"...