canada Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Soccer Player Has Cheek Touched, Fakes Own Death, Provokes Red Card
Last night Toronto FC won the Canadian Championship with an aggregate victory over the Vancouver Whitecaps, and it was not without some ridiculous floppery. In the midst of some heated talk, Toronto's Julian de Guzman lightly brushed the cheek of Jun Marques Davidson, as you would a lover or a bab...
Canadian Lacrosse Brawl Is Best Lacrosse Brawl
An emailer tells us we're looking at the Intermediate A teams (so, 16-to-18-year-olds) of the Coquitlam Adanacs and Nanaimo Timbermen fighting it out at a game on Saturday. We love it, and not just because it features so many punchable faces getting punched. Presumably lacrosse has penalties for l...
Stay Sober Around Gary Bettman
We missed this when it ran Tuesday, but we'd like to bring to your attention the memoirs of Richard Stursberg, former head of CBC. The excerpt that ran in Maclean's concerns his 2006 negotiations with Gary Bettman over the league's television contract. We pick things up at a chi-chi Italian restaura...
Arrested Drunk Man Sings "Bohemian Rhapsody" In Its Entirety In Back Of Police Car [UPDATE]
Dude in the video above wasn't happy about being picked up by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for being intoxicated. The best excuse he can muster is something about "brotherhood of men on the planet earth" before he segues right into singing Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." In its entirety. He even...
Tonight's "O Canada" Before The Pens-Sens Game Was So Bad Players Were Laughing Before It Finished
The Ottawa Senators hired opera singer and judge of Canada's Got Talent Measha Brueggergosman to sing the anthems before tonight's home matchup with the Pittsburgh Penguins, and got more than they bargained for—literally....
What Is Going On With All The Doping In Wheelchair Curling?
Stop reading right now if you'd like to believe that curling, or the Paralympics, or frigging Paralympic Curling is the last bastion of drug-free sports in the world today. Nothing is pure anymore. Jim Armstrong, a member of the Canadian Curling Hall of Fame and skip of Canada's 2010 Paralympic gold...
Two Rec Hockey Leagues Kicked Out By Town For Rampant Smoking, Drinking, "Torn Rectum"
Up in Kingsville, Ontario, they skate hard, and they drink hard. Too damn hard for the folks at Kingsville, who evicted two men's leagues from their arena after months of shenanigans. Yes, it's beer league hockey. But it's not cigarette league, or drunken brawl league, or beer bottle up the anus lea...
"Shitballs": Curling Profanity Is Strange
You can throw out the record books when the Alberta and Quebec women's curling teams get together. It got pretty heated yesterday at the Scotties Tournament of Hearts (Canada's women's championship), when Alberta skip Heather Nedohin let loose a creative swear word after coming up short on her sho...
"Was That A Sasquatch?” The Misery Of Watching Canadian Super Bowl Ads
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Least Essential NBA Player Misses Least Essential NBA Game Because He Lost His Passport
Samardo Samuels didn't travel with the Cavs to Toronto yesterday because he misplaced his passport and couldn't get a new one in time. We're told they played the game anyway, but couldn't find any proof....
No, <em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Columnist Was Not Comparing The Marlins' New Stadium Deal To The 1989 Massacre Of 14 Women In Montreal
You probably know Chris Jones from Esquire, Grantland, or his busy Twitter feed, but it's his column in ESPN: The Magazine that has ticked off legions of his countrymen. Jones, like the angry mob needlessly chasing him online yesterday, is Canadian....
Sports Anchor Wins $2 Million Lottery Live On Air, Can't Help Making "Luongo Is Overpaid" Joke
Global BC sports anchor Barry Deley was actually out shopping when his name came up in a live lotto drawing, winning either a house or $2 million in cash. His unbelieving and slightly jealous colleagues call him with the news, and Deley reacts with typical Canadian poise and dry humor. The fun beg...
Justin Bieber Is A More Dedicated Sports Fan Than You
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Biebs is a Maple Leafs fan, so he can't be a bandwagoner, right?...
Justin Bieber, Like Everyone Else, Is Capable Of Beating Steve Nash Off The Dribble
A few days ago, Justin Bieber shared a video with the world that alleges to show Justin Bieber crossing up Steve Nash. We understand that this is pointless, because Nash regularly allows non-teen pop stars to cross him up (and it doesn't even seem to be recent, as Nash wasn't a part of Ludacris's ...
Colby Rasmus Is Thrilled That Obama Isn't President In Canada
With Rasmus moving north of the border, Joe Sports Fan thought it would be a good time to unveil this undated photo of Colby making his political views known in the most effective way known to man — via t-shirt. So in a way, Rasmus is like everyone who's ever bitched that if an election didn't go th...
Kansas City's MLS Team Compiled Laughable, Stereotype-Filled Video To Introduce Its Canadian Opponent
This introduction video, via KCKRS, is perhaps the greatest semi-official compilation of cheap Canadian stereotypes known to man....
1989's Back Again, In The SkyDome Opening That Featured Thousands Of Canadians Capering About, Plus Alan Thicke
Toronto's Rogers Centre was introduced in June 1989 as the SkyDome, at a time when the name "SkyDome" suggested an exciting future full of retractable roofs and mud-free Argonauts games, which we'd have to agree are two of the greatest developments of the past twenty-plus years....
Duchess Kate Is The Future Queen Of Mutton Bustin'
Here are the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge surveying the remains of empire at the Calgary Stampede. The Duchess, according to the indispensable (and endearingly capitalized) official website of The British Monarchy, "is a keen sportswoman, and has been involved in many different sports over the year...
Jose Bautista Is The Greatest Canadian Hero
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bautista does it for you, Canada....
"This Is A Great Day For Canada's Football," Says Canada Coach After Dumb Luck Delays Elimination Three More Days
I'm not sure what lessons we can learn from the U-17 World Cup (I hope none, because the US lost to Uzbekistan last night), but English goaltending looks like it'll be hopeless for the next couple of decades....