Canada Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Is Going On With All The Doping In Wheelchair Curling?
Stop reading right now if you'd like to believe that curling, or the Paralympics, or frigging Paralympic Curling is the last bastion of drug-free sports in the world today. Nothing is pure anymore. Jim Armstrong, a member of the Canadian Curling Hall of Fame and skip of Canada's 2010 Paralympic gold...
Two Rec Hockey Leagues Kicked Out By Town For Rampant Smoking, Drinking, "Torn Rectum"
Up in Kingsville, Ontario, they skate hard, and they drink hard. Too damn hard for the folks at Kingsville, who evicted two men's leagues from their arena after months of shenanigans. Yes, it's beer league hockey. But it's not cigarette league, or drunken brawl league, or beer bottle up the anus lea...
"Shitballs": Curling Profanity Is Strange
You can throw out the record books when the Alberta and Quebec women's curling teams get together. It got pretty heated yesterday at the Scotties Tournament of Hearts (Canada's women's championship), when Alberta skip Heather Nedohin let loose a creative swear word after coming up short on her sho...
"Was That A Sasquatch?” The Misery Of Watching Canadian Super Bowl Ads
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Least Essential NBA Player Misses Least Essential NBA Game Because He Lost His Passport
Samardo Samuels didn't travel with the Cavs to Toronto yesterday because he misplaced his passport and couldn't get a new one in time. We're told they played the game anyway, but couldn't find any proof....
No, <em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Columnist Was Not Comparing The Marlins' New Stadium Deal To The 1989 Massacre Of 14 Women In Montreal
You probably know Chris Jones from Esquire, Grantland, or his busy Twitter feed, but it's his column in ESPN: The Magazine that has ticked off legions of his countrymen. Jones, like the angry mob needlessly chasing him online yesterday, is Canadian....
Sports Anchor Wins $2 Million Lottery Live On Air, Can't Help Making "Luongo Is Overpaid" Joke
Global BC sports anchor Barry Deley was actually out shopping when his name came up in a live lotto drawing, winning either a house or $2 million in cash. His unbelieving and slightly jealous colleagues call him with the news, and Deley reacts with typical Canadian poise and dry humor. The fun beg...
Justin Bieber Is A More Dedicated Sports Fan Than You
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Biebs is a Maple Leafs fan, so he can't be a bandwagoner, right?...
Justin Bieber, Like Everyone Else, Is Capable Of Beating Steve Nash Off The Dribble
A few days ago, Justin Bieber shared a video with the world that alleges to show Justin Bieber crossing up Steve Nash. We understand that this is pointless, because Nash regularly allows non-teen pop stars to cross him up (and it doesn't even seem to be recent, as Nash wasn't a part of Ludacris's ...
Colby Rasmus Is Thrilled That Obama Isn't President In Canada
With Rasmus moving north of the border, Joe Sports Fan thought it would be a good time to unveil this undated photo of Colby making his political views known in the most effective way known to man — via t-shirt. So in a way, Rasmus is like everyone who's ever bitched that if an election didn't go th...
Kansas City's MLS Team Compiled Laughable, Stereotype-Filled Video To Introduce Its Canadian Opponent
This introduction video, via KCKRS, is perhaps the greatest semi-official compilation of cheap Canadian stereotypes known to man....
1989's Back Again, In The SkyDome Opening That Featured Thousands Of Canadians Capering About, Plus Alan Thicke
Toronto's Rogers Centre was introduced in June 1989 as the SkyDome, at a time when the name "SkyDome" suggested an exciting future full of retractable roofs and mud-free Argonauts games, which we'd have to agree are two of the greatest developments of the past twenty-plus years....
Jose Bautista Is The Greatest Canadian Hero
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bautista does it for you, Canada....
"This Is A Great Day For Canada's Football," Says Canada Coach After Dumb Luck Delays Elimination Three More Days
I'm not sure what lessons we can learn from the U-17 World Cup (I hope none, because the US lost to Uzbekistan last night), but English goaltending looks like it'll be hopeless for the next couple of decades....
Postcard From Western Canada: Vancouver Flames And Calgary Canucks
FORT McMURRAY, ALBERTA — During the nine months I've lived in Canada, I've abandoned my image of Canadians as a bunch of northern Minnesotans with their pinkies extended, single-payer health care and Queen Elizabeth's plump mugshot on every single coin in their snap-purses. They truly are a more pol...
Look At This U-18 Canadian Water Polo Player Trying To Blow Up A Vancouver Police Cruiser
There goes your scholarship, boyo. The intelligent young man you see here neglecting to cover his face with his hood but flashing some nifty Nike Dunk Highs(?) has been identified as Nathan Kotylak, who plays the sport of water polo at a very impressive level and looks remarkably at ease lighting a ...
Today In Very Canadian Headlines
Toronto's CTV News gives a generous headline to the original AP story: Mavericks win NBA title, knock off Bosh's Heat 105-95. [CTV; H/T Fark]...
If A Canadian Team Wins A Title, Will They Visit The White House?
Should the Canucks win one of the next two games, they'll partake in one of the greatest traditions in pro sports: spending time with the Stanley Cup. But will they, or the Cup, receive the White House invite that's standard for championship teams? More to the point, would an American President hono...
Here, Watch Donald Brashear Beat Up A Fat Guy In His MMA Debut
Some fellow named Mathieu Bergeron decided to fight former NHL goon Donald Brashear—who is 15th all-time in penalty minutes, and now making his MMA debut—in Quebec City (au Colisée Pepsi) on Saturday night. Not a good call. Brashear scored a TKO in 21 seconds....
One Ref's Fall Over A Ceremonial Carpet Is Another Ref's Fall Over The Same Ceremonial Carpet
We're not sure where this clip came from, as the Leafs missed out on the playoffs for the sixth straight year this season, but sometimes — like when two men whose job it is to be alert on ice fail to observe and avoid the same ceremonial carpet laid out in front of them, for example — context just...